What does being addicted feel like?

[Mafila]

Factors of opiate addiction

Physical Addiction(withdrawal) - cold sweats, nausea, feeling like your muscles are being torn apart, feeling like your bones are being crushed, diarrhea, chills, hot flashes, restless legs, insomnia, yawning every minute, sneezing every five minutes, extreme lack of energy, shakes, headache, stuffy nose, heightened mucus production (especially for smokers). Not everyone experiences all symptoms(depending on person and severity of habit) and some possibly experience additional symptoms that are not listed depending on the individual.

Mental Addiction: Depression, anxiety, tiredness, extremely unmotivated, emotional and mental anguish, constant drug cravings, increased/decreased hunger, insomnia or excessive sleep, over-stimulation or hyperactivity, increased/decreased libido, loss of interest, carelessness, suicidal thoughts, vivid dreams, horrifyingly real nightmares, and many others depending on the person.

When it comes down to it you can have a basic understanding of an addiction by learning enough about it, but unless you experience it you will never know how severe and how difficult it really is. Most people highly underestimate the power of drug addiction until they become addicts themselves and then after getting past their denial they feel like morons because they couldn't grasp what was in front of their faces the whole time, but that's how addiction works and it sucks.

 

[fivelinefury]

I am currently slowly tapering off diazepam. I have had many problems with alcohol and alot of other pharmaceuticals and some illicits in the past, but for 6 years have been a benzo addict (mainly diazepam).

Is the only way to really understand, to become addicted myself?
Technically yes, but this is extremely not recommended.

What did being addicted feel like to you? In retrospect (or presently) do you think you could have stopped if you tried hard enough, or is willpower not a factor?
For me I simply feel I cannot function and live a happy life without it. I know this isn't really true, but for me drugs come into my mind probably every couple of minutes of every day. I was actually clean off everything for almost 2 months a couple of years ago. Looking back now, I would have most likely remained clean and done it alot easier then if I had done it properly.

What, from your experience, would be required to stop?
Frequent drug/alc counselling, anti-depressants have been needed to stable my manic mood and depression, I had to quit my job due to terrible depression and at the time was getting physically more and more impossible to move out of bed due to my doses of benzos and alcohol consumption which was effecting my attendance at work worse and worse, and countless relapses have helped me learn more and more, so far.

What do you think causes somebody to become addicted to a drug?
This can obviously be a range of different "triggers" from person to person.

Why is it that some people are able to use recreational drugs in moderation, whereas other people spiral out of control?
I think in a way it is simply like anything else people do or use moderately or to excess, like alcohol, gambling, eating. I used to drive home drunk from the pub 3 or 4 times a week, whereas my friends didn't, but I just had to have the alcohol, and now I might have 5 beers a week, so yeah everyone is different.

 

[seducedsoul]

There are a lot of aspects of addiction, but if you're talking about experiencing a craving, do this:

Stop eating for a few days and note the compulsion to do everything and anything to get your hands on food.

haha THANK you.
that is the feeling, and it's what I used as my answer earlier in this thread. Really one who asks about addiction would love to know how it mentally and physically feels... And since they've never been addicted to something, you'd be only giving such a small amount of insight [applicable to their understanding] that would allow them to "get it". Because our addiction becomes as important, or many tmes MORE important than food [the drug becomes needed to LIVE!]... maybe then they'd understand what it would feel like to feel a compulsive need to cure a thirst/hunger.

Sometimes i feel like I could do all the dramatic explaining of addiction in the world [to someone who never has experienced it] and it can't get thru their heads. People who haven't really experienced addiction at all would STILL not understand what we mean by saying "imagine fucking over your family, losing all your money, getting Hep C and STILL going out to buy DOC" cause well, they CANT!! those deep dark feelings, are just words that only true addicts can relate to [wow what a lucky elite group we are huh!.....]

this was not at all to downplay at all the thread answers whatsoever, they were all so amazing. Just it truly shows what addicts have come to know about the life of well... addiction...., and what the non-addicts [and never been] will never EVER truly understand unless experienced firsthand.

 

[QuasiStoned]

I like the metaphor of food/water to describe the cravings of addiction.

I remember that the first time I knew I was in trouble with opiates was at the tail-end of my first serious withdrawal. I jumped from kratom to poppy tea and binged on PPT for about 2 weeks and was planning on riding out the withdrawals. To make a long story short, I panicked a few days in and ordered more pods.

They arrived *JUST* as I was starting to feel better, but I made a brew immediatly. I remember drinking it down and waiting 15 minutes.... then came the flood of warmth. All of the coldness, depression, pain, and suffering was washed away and it was relief like I had ever known. That is what reinforces the addiction - going from sick to high. One way to think of it is in terms of numbers - sobriety or baseline = 0. When you take an opiate and get high, you jump up to a 10. When you are an addict and sick, you're not even at baseline (AKA 0 ), you're way below that at like a -5. Then you use your drug and shoot back up to a 10, it's so much more reinforcing to go from that -5 to a 10, as opposed to a 0 - 10.

The first time I experienced going from sick -> high I compared it to walking in the desert for 3 days without water and finding an oasis. Imagine how great that water would taste! Well that's a bit like addiction. I knew right then and there that I was probably going to be in trouble, but I kept fucking around with them anyway.

These days it's like there is always a yearning/craving to try and get high, but moreover than that is the necessity or NEED to take just a little bit to feel well. I usually wake up in the morning and start my day with a cup of coffee mixed with PPT, usually before I even eat something Everyday I wake up stretching/yawning and needing some poppy tea just to face the day, it certainly feels every bit as important as food and water. I won't DIE if I don't dose, but I will feel so bad that I just can't stand it

 

[b4rd]

It feels like life is truly not worth living without that substance

Amen brother

 

[DarkSkys]

It's like having a twin that thinks for you. Imagine and think about that for a minute.

 

[SHROOMS!!!]

its not will power... when my life is good i dont need to do shit to pass the time. I still might if i go out and party and certain drugs are presented to me but i will not actively seek drugs. When my life is not good I stop caring that I am doing something to my body I know is bad. I used to smoke cigs about a pack every two days for about two years and had no problem quitting even if i felt like shit.

 

[pofacedhoe]

At this point in time I have really felt the addictiveness to Mephedrone, before this ive only done it up to a gram at most when out and about at events etc... but this time I can see the dark qualitys of the substance, ive done in about 2grams since last night at 8:30pm and havnt been to sleep

yeah that was me three months after trying it, one night i cried on a comedown for hours because i was so angry at myself for not having bought more in the first place. at that point it was not as widespread and easy or cheap to get.

that was about 18months ago and it got much worse before it got better- been off it since new year and wont touch it again hopefully

 

[Carl Landrover]

I've said this before and I think this analogy works well for non-drug addicts and drug addicts as well (assuming they've seen the movie ).

Being addicted to drugs is like being Gollum from Lord of the Rings. You, the addict, are Gollum and the ring being drugs of course. Gollum decayed and declined physically and mentally because of his obsession with the ring. It consumed him and he'd do anything to get it back. After having it for so long it was bore into his mind and he was completely wrapped up in it.

Pretty much sums it up in a basic sense.

 

[riddla420]

Some people (non users) have heard that detoxing ,or withdraw from Opiates is like a bad Flu. That is the lamest way to describe the Horror and hyper -depression ,and super suffering ,an addict goes through. It is the darkest feeling on earth. Kind of like you feel when you find out someone has died. X10. and it goes on ,day afterday ,week after week ,and you tell yourself ,it's got to get better,but it does not ,soo ,you break down ,and use again ,and you feel amazing,like lightning shoots out of your asshole and you are ready to lead a brigade into baghdad .Ans then you crash again ,and start the suffering all over ,the saddness from the depths of hell. The pain, and the coldness.Freezing ,freezing shivering hell.as you sit on the shower floor ,the water turned to it's hottest setting while you shiver.You say ,how did I do this again??????

 

[bagochina]

For me addiction is like someone said above its a lifestyle, all I know is heavy drug use for a long time, I used to take psychedelic drugs as a youth for exploratory factors and that is all find and dandy. But I just escalated, lounged, and pooof decades go by. Than you have grimy addiction, street level shit, shady, op8/cocaine trade. Than pharmy pills rule your life. Some people are addicts some people arent. I do tend to find addicts more interesting people than non addicts for what it is worth, just an observation but that might be skewed.

Peace,
Seedless