What if Ecstasy makes you feel normal?

[Manitoba]

I have taken it many times, twice experimenting with rolling more than once a month. I took it 15 years ago, I took it three years ago. I have taken stuff that everyone said was good and bad, and I have never really had a bad experience on it.
In fact, it makes me feel normal. I want to be clear, I have taken E about 40 times in 15 years, and only two times were less than a month apart. I have never had the come down that others seem to have and my warm, happy feelings seems to last for days (tapering off slowly and gently) although I react similarly to all of my friends with any of the other drugs that we have experimented with. With E, I just feel like I can actually like things, where normally I am irritable and intolerant. I don't want to be, I definitely don't think that it is cool, and I feel like shit all of the time because of my crabbiness and the inablility to enjoy things and other people. I also don't feel the need to be touched, or horny, or any of the other stereotypical reactions that I know some people (but definitely not all) have-I just feel nice, relaxed, and non-judgmental. Like the way that booze seems to affect some people.
Basically, I am just curious if anyone has any ideas what this might mean, in terms of brain chemistry. I know you guys aren't doctors, but I would never bring this up with a doctor, and there seems to be a lot of knowledge on this site.
For the record, I have tried many SSRIs, SNRIs, other antidepressants, 5HTP, and benzos and none of them really help, or they make things worse (Klonopin makes things a bit better), but have never tried Wellbutrin (or similar type drugs) or any meds for ADHD, which I think I might fit the profile for.
Any thoughts or theories would be appreciated. Also, I have not taken any drugs (even alcohol) for over two years, until this last month when I have been back on benzos (Xanax XR, 2mg 2x daily), which simply seems to take the edge off of my anger/temper. I have tried E with many combos of drugs, but most often it has been solo (or with a small amount of pot).

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for the great info on this site!

 

[raver2008]

Hey man odds are your not taking huge dose of e, but if its actually pure mdma and no speed or other shit in the pills alot of ppl just feel very happy,calm,relaxed and like everything is wonderfull, higher doses start to give you the intense euphoria and lovey touchy type feelings. What your feeling the few days after isnt the drug still being active, its refered to as an "afterglow" where the experiance has left you in such a happy state that for the next few days your still feeling very happy and all those things because of the great experiance. The fact you dont use e often is probably why you still get that so be thankfull, once ppl start abusing e and taking it frequently alot of those great feelings go away as well as the afterglow some people will get. So keep on spacing your doses far apart like you do, and try to only take pills with mdma in them nothing else and you wont have to worry about e "losing the magic". Hope this helped ever a little

 

[Rogue Robot]

Homeless -> Ecstasy Discussion

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

What your feeling the few days after isnt the drug still being active, its refered to as an "afterglow" where the experiance has left you in such a happy state that for the next few days your still feeling very happy and all those things because of the great experiance.

This is kind of a pedantic correction, but anyways, the afterglow to some degree is chemically induced as well. I believe seratonin levels continue to be quite high even after the roll is over. I think this is true for about 2-3 days after you roll. That is why people talk about "suicide Tuesdays". It's only after a few days that your mind starts entering the low seratonin headspace.

But on the other hand, MDMA is very much capable of more long term afterglow that are to some extent irreversible. I had a very strong afterglow that lasted about 4 months (until I got back to college lol) after I first tried MDMA in the summer of 2008. :D I just didn't feel like being angry or negative or any of that BS. Everything was okay. It's quite the feeling. lol

 

[MazDan]

Define normal.

 

[skeettls]

I had this exact feeling the first time I took it.
Then I took more of it and it did the opposite -gave me anxiety and depression

It makes you feel at peace with who you are, and that's would be a nice feeling during everyday life, however it doesn't last.

 

[nodoubter90]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I take E I feel like the way I imagine normal healthy well ajusted people feel on a normal basis. I feel like everything is reversed and I'm liberated. When I'm on it I can socialize freely and be talkative. I'm not a social person with a lot of friends and I'm not a talkative person. I don't feel like it's very healthy for me plus I'm very irritable and grumpy a lot of the time so I know what you're talking about. My theory is that I have a chemical imbalance and E corrects that. I feel like my depression is cured.
I highly suggest that you try taking bupropion.(wellbutrin, aplenzin) I've had major depressive disorder for over 7 years and I my psychologist gave me 3 weeks worth of aplenzin and I feel different. Not durastically but I'm not as pessimistic and I don't have the sense of dread and despair I once had. I have a prescription for bupropion but I have to wait until I get my health insurance back in about a month to afford it. It's nice to see some one else feels the same. You can easily say that of coarse E makes most people who take it happy and sociable. But you would really have to be a certain kind of person to understand the profound impact it has on us in this way, the normality we feel.

 

[Manitoba]

That's exactly it, nodoubter90!

 

[PinkPanther2]

I have taken it many times, twice experimenting with rolling more than once a month. I took it 15 years ago, I took it three years ago. I have taken stuff that everyone said was good and bad, and I have never really had a bad experience on it.
In fact, it makes me feel normal. I want to be clear, I have taken E about 40 times in 15 years, and only two times were less than a month apart. I have never had the come down that others seem to have and my warm, happy feelings seems to last for days (tapering off slowly and gently) although I react similarly to all of my friends with any of the other drugs that we have experimented with. With E, I just feel like I can actually like things, where normally I am irritable and intolerant. I don't want to be, I definitely don't think that it is cool, and I feel like shit all of the time because of my crabbiness and the inablility to enjoy things and other people. I also don't feel the need to be touched, or horny, or any of the other stereotypical reactions that I know some people (but definitely not all) have-I just feel nice, relaxed, and non-judgmental. Like the way that booze seems to affect some people.
Basically, I am just curious if anyone has any ideas what this might mean, in terms of brain chemistry. I know you guys aren't doctors, but I would never bring this up with a doctor, and there seems to be a lot of knowledge on this site.
For the record, I have tried many SSRIs, SNRIs, other antidepressants, 5HTP, and benzos and none of them really help, or they make things worse (Klonopin makes things a bit better), but have never tried Wellbutrin (or similar type drugs) or any meds for ADHD, which I think I might fit the profile for.
Any thoughts or theories would be appreciated. Also, I have not taken any drugs (even alcohol) for over two years, until this last month when I have been back on benzos (Xanax XR, 2mg 2x daily), which simply seems to take the edge off of my anger/temper. I have tried E with many combos of drugs, but most often it has been solo (or with a small amount of pot).

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for the great info on this site!

well i think that that is a good thing! if you're feeling irritable, you have to listen to what your body is telling you.. eat, sleep, stretch!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how you feel on e is what youll feel like when everything is flowing..

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I take E I feel like the way I imagine normal healthy well ajusted people feel on a normal basis. I feel like everything is reversed and I'm liberated. When I'm on it I can socialize freely and be talkative. I'm not a social person with a lot of friends and I'm not a talkative person. I don't feel like it's very healthy for me plus I'm very irritable and grumpy a lot of the time so I know what you're talking about. My theory is that I have a chemical imbalance and E corrects that. I feel like my depression is cured.
I highly suggest that you try taking bupropion.(wellbutrin, aplenzin) I've had major depressive disorder for over 7 years and I my psychologist gave me 3 weeks worth of aplenzin and I feel different. Not durastically but I'm not as pessimistic and I don't have the sense of dread and despair I once had. I have a prescription for bupropion but I have to wait until I get my health insurance back in about a month to afford it. It's nice to see some one else feels the same. You can easily say that of coarse E makes most people who take it happy and sociable. But you would really have to be a certain kind of person to understand the profound impact it has on us in this way, the normality we feel.

Well I empathize with the OP's and your statements, I have to say that I feel that you guys are approaching this issue from the wrong side. E definitely makes me feel very happy and in touch with who I am, which unfortunately doesn't happen all the time in normal life. Nevertheless, I don't think its very productive to look for E as a solution to your own personal problems. When it comes it down to it you have to sort your life out to make yourself feel like your on E in sober life (or as close as you can get).

I would go even as far as saying that in most cases anti-depressants are just a product of a ultra-capitalist system. I think in most situations you don't really need to take these kind of drugs, unless you have serious issues and nothing else works. Really millions people in the world have to deal with issues of despair and sadness and I think many of them are able to carve their own little niche in life without taking anti-depressants and stuff. Really, anti-depressants should not be treated as first line of defense (in your case it's not, but other people, who knows?).

Sorry for being kind of condescending, that wasn't my aim. I just feel that hardcore capitalist culture sometimes does things that aren't really beneficial to achieving long-term healthy solutions.

 

[Manitoba]

Levictus, I do not think that you sound condescending at all, and I totally agree-I do not want to be on long term antidepressants (or any other drugs for that matter). I am not looking to E as a solution, it just brings up an interesting question about my own experiences with it versus the experience that most others seem to have with it. It would certainly not be an appropriate way to treat any of my issues with anxiety and depression, I was more interested in what anyone could suggest that it might mean about my brain chemistry.
I am in therapy, have weekly acupuncture treatments, see an herbalist, exercise regularly, eat a very "brain healthy" diet, meditate, and have a life coach (cheesy, but I VERY helpful for me). I am, however, very curious to find out if some of my issues are chemical (I have always believed that they are NOT) and thought that this topic might bring up some speculations worth researching.
I no longer self medicate, but I feel that my anxiety (and potential ADHD-whatever the hell that really is...) are not responding to all of the alternative treatments an long-term life style changes that I have made. I don't post these kinds of questions on depression/anxiety boards because people jump on you when they find out that you have used any illegal drugs in the past, so they are no help.
Could anyone shed any light on what E really does to your brain, and what I might want to research in addition to the methods I am already using?

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[PinkPanther2]

Could anyone shed any light on what E really does to your brain, and what I might want to research in addition to the methods I am already using?

read pihkal and tihkal by alexander shulgin for interesting theories about how e(and other drugs) works in the brain. especially, in tihkal theres a great section about using e during therapy.. in my opinion these guys, while not perfect, were older, and more mature about the experience than pop culture. keep in mind that people will tell you things about your brain chemistry from a matter of fact perspective.. but be highly skeptical! you'll learn more about your brain from paying attention to your thought patterns than anything else. you need to identify the thoughts that are making you unhappy and do what you can to change those patterns. the feeling of e, as you described, is one of forgiveness.. also, like i guessed earlier based on my own experiences, its probably a release of some physical ailments you don't normally notice. the mind will cover up physical pain with illusions, ideas, thoughts.. it'll get grumpy.. stuff wont make as much sense.. im kind of going out on a limb here.. but, to reiterate.. if you're physical health is fine, including stretching.. then you need to work on forgiveness. e is not some magical state of mind separate from our everyday existence.. people that talk about the brain chemistry of it will sometimes isolate the experience.. like its something that you have, but is then lost. not so! its very much a natural part of being alive.. just like winning the big game.. or scoring a hot date.. hope that helps. also, roll on my brother!

 

[AMTDan]

If you feel normal after doing e there is a problem

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Levictus, I do not think that you sound condescending at all, and I totally agree-I do not want to be on long term antidepressants (or any other drugs for that matter). I am not looking to E as a solution, it just brings up an interesting question about my own experiences with it versus the experience that most others seem to have with it. It would certainly not be an appropriate way to treat any of my issues with anxiety and depression, I was more interested in what anyone could suggest that it might mean about my brain chemistry.
I am in therapy, have weekly acupuncture treatments, see an herbalist, exercise regularly, eat a very "brain healthy" diet, meditate, and have a life coach (cheesy, but I VERY helpful for me). I am, however, very curious to find out if some of my issues are chemical (I have always believed that they are NOT) and thought that this topic might bring up some speculations worth researching.
I no longer self medicate, but I feel that my anxiety (and potential ADHD-whatever the hell that really is...) are not responding to all of the alternative treatments an long-term life style changes that I have made. I don't post these kinds of questions on depression/anxiety boards because people jump on you when they find out that you have used any illegal drugs in the past, so they are no help.
Could anyone shed any light on what E really does to your brain, and what I might want to research in addition to the methods I am already using?

Thanks again, everyone.

Check this website out:

http://www.dancesafe.org/slideshow/

It gives an excellent overview of MDMA is supposed to be doing in your head.

I think it's very hard to use the chemical effects of MDMA to say things about your brain chemistry. I think the main reason for this is that we simply don't know enough about how exactly MDMA works or even the finer details of the seratonin and dopamine systems.

In your situation, I would avoid focusing too much on 'chemical' side of things and try and get the most out of your life.

I know that's pretty hard to do. Life can be a huge bitch. There are times when I fall into such utter disrepair and anxiety its just incredible. But I guess I just to have to man up and get through those times and try to somehow find happiness.

 

[rickrock21]

i hIear ya

what you say makes a lot of sense to me. my experience with MDMA was not the out of control trip i had come to expect. All MDMA did for me was improve my mood, clear my thoughts, and make me more interested in the world around me. I was completely rational and conscious at all times, but i could find the value in things more than i can normally. It is what i imagine most people feel like naturally. I am normally very fidgety, and have limited interests. Taking an e-pill essentially gave me relief from this state for about a day. I enjoyed communicating with people, and could appreciate music in new ways. I became much more appreciative of others and of myself. And it was not simply like being numb, this was all with perfect motor skills, sensitivity and judgement. I am glad you posted this because I wasn't sure anyone else had this experience.

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

I have taken it many times, twice experimenting with rolling more than once a month. I took it 15 years ago, I took it three years ago. I have taken stuff that everyone said was good and bad, and I have never really had a bad experience on it.
In fact, it makes me feel normal. I want to be clear, I have taken E about 40 times in 15 years, and only two times were less than a month apart. I have never had the come down that others seem to have and my warm, happy feelings seems to last for days (tapering off slowly and gently) although I react similarly to all of my friends with any of the other drugs that we have experimented with. With E, I just feel like I can actually like things, where normally I am irritable and intolerant. I don't want to be, I definitely don't think that it is cool, and I feel like shit all of the time because of my crabbiness and the inablility to enjoy things and other people. I also don't feel the need to be touched, or horny, or any of the other stereotypical reactions that I know some people (but definitely not all) have-I just feel nice, relaxed, and non-judgmental. Like the way that booze seems to affect some people.
Basically, I am just curious if anyone has any ideas what this might mean, in terms of brain chemistry. I know you guys aren't doctors, but I would never bring this up with a doctor, and there seems to be a lot of knowledge on this site.
For the record, I have tried many SSRIs, SNRIs, other antidepressants, 5HTP, and benzos and none of them really help, or they make things worse (Klonopin makes things a bit better), but have never tried Wellbutrin (or similar type drugs) or any meds for ADHD, which I think I might fit the profile for.
Any thoughts or theories would be appreciated. Also, I have not taken any drugs (even alcohol) for over two years, until this last month when I have been back on benzos (Xanax XR, 2mg 2x daily), which simply seems to take the edge off of my anger/temper. I have tried E with many combos of drugs, but most often it has been solo (or with a small amount of pot).

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for the great info on this site!

I would say no one can really answer your question in terms of brain chemistry. It's just too complex and we don't really know anything about how the brain truly functions.

But I can give my take on this, since MDMA tends to have a very similar effect on me on occasion. I think more than anything this "feeling normal" effect has to do with social conditioning and the way we are used to interacting with people. Most of our lives are filled by ruthless competition. Competition drives us to better ourselves and to strive to reach our most challenging ambitions. But, there also drawbacks to such competition that manifest themselves as anxiety, stress and a general jaded attitude towards humanity in general and more specifically the people around you.

MDMA counters these effects about turning off your social conditioning and letting you experience the world in much more laid way without any anxiety, jealousy and general nastiness that seems to be the norm in our world today. To people like you and me such an attitude is what we see as normal. So taking MDMA makes life seem in some ways even more normal and meaningful than normal sober existence.

MDMA can definitely provide for a for very calm and peaceful experience that just lets you relax and enjoy the beauty of the simple things in life.

 

[sheepie]

@OP
I totally understand what you're saying. When people ask me what it's like to be on E, I tell them it feels like you're being yourself for the first time ever.

I prescribe you going to the gym every day. Have a workout routine. and get a lot of sleep. There's very compelling evidence that the gym is more powerful than anti-depressants.

Hey man odds are your not taking huge dose of e, but if its actually pure mdma and no speed or other shit in the pills alot of ppl just feel very happy,calm,relaxed and like everything is wonderfull, higher doses start to give you the intense euphoria and lovey touchy type feelings.

How much dose does it take to get the lovey-dose feeling? I personally never really got that feeling maybe I wasn't taking enough... Just extremely calm and confident

 

[peacefuldreamer09]

I believe what you are describing "feeling normal" is simply ecstacy evening out your mood. There are so many different factors that go in how you'll roll. How much sleep you've had before, how clean of a diet you usually eat, what mood you are in immediately before. I also believe anyone that suffers from low seratonin levels will not get as much if any of the euphoria.

Different concentrations of mdma/mda, etc effect it, as well as other chems that are used for fillers. I've had a very euphoric roll of of half a pill I was given that I split with my bf, very clean blissful, with no come down, just varying experience depending on circumstance leading up to. I would recommend taking 5htp on a regular basis if you are not already on SSRI's, and you will likely experience a more satisfying roll. Be safe and have fun!

 

[Niunia89]

Similar experiance

I have taken it many times, twice experimenting with rolling more than once a month. I took it 15 years ago, I took it three years ago. I have taken stuff that everyone said was good and bad, and I have never really had a bad experience on it.
In fact, it makes me feel normal. I want to be clear, I have taken E about 40 times in 15 years, and only two times were less than a month apart. I have never had the come down that others seem to have and my warm, happy feelings seems to last for days (tapering off slowly and gently) although I react similarly to all of my friends with any of the other drugs that we have experimented with. With E, I just feel like I can actually like things, where normally I am irritable and intolerant. I don't want to be, I definitely don't think that it is cool, and I feel like shit all of the time because of my crabbiness and the inablility to enjoy things and other people. I also don't feel the need to be touched, or horny, or any of the other stereotypical reactions that I know some people (but definitely not all) have-I just feel nice, relaxed, and non-judgmental. Like the way that booze seems to affect some people.
Basically, I am just curious if anyone has any ideas what this might mean, in terms of brain chemistry. I know you guys aren't doctors, but I would never bring this up with a doctor, and there seems to be a lot of knowledge on this site.
For the record, I have tried many SSRIs, SNRIs, other antidepressants, 5HTP, and benzos and none of them really help, or they make things worse (Klonopin makes things a bit better), but have never tried Wellbutrin (or similar type drugs) or any meds for ADHD, which I think I might fit the profile for.
Any thoughts or theories would be appreciated. Also, I have not taken any drugs (even alcohol) for over two years, until this last month when I have been back on benzos (Xanax XR, 2mg 2x daily), which simply seems to take the edge off of my anger/temper. I have tried E with many combos of drugs, but most often it has been solo (or with a small amount of pot).

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for the great info on this site!

I started taking mdma about 8 months ago. My first time was around 80mg and cried for 7 hours straight. It was crazy. Second time 3 months later i had the best day of my entire life even tho i didnt do anything special. It made me feel like the person i always knew i was deep inside. And that second time i also knew that if i can get access to it(my friend gave me few pills i didnt know where he got them from) i would use it more often and it would change my life. I ended up getting that connection that what i thought would happen happened. It changed my life and i can feel normal. Unfortunately only on the days that i take it and when i glow. Other then that i try my best to have hope. I know i cant take it every day and i try to space it out as much as possible. I just feel its unfair i need a substance to make me feel normal.And same aa you i used to take xanax. It helps but makes me feel like a zombie. I dont like it. I took antidepressants few years ago they worked for a while, made me feel better so i stopped. Few years passed and i found myseld depressed again. Went to doctor and asked for same pills. This time they didnt work. You know what the doctor said? That im not really depressed lol! Seriously? Since then i accepted that life is like that. I thought that maybe everyone feels this way and im just crazy. But now i know im not crazy. I know people who have same experiance as me but the rest think im making it up causw im addicted. First of all this is not an addicting substance second wouldnt i be using it all the time? Im tired of explaining myself to others. So im glad i read your post.

 

[Innerpeace]

Its perfectly good and feel to feel normal the next day and its a good thing. It means you didnt go too high in dose.

From experience too high dosing does seem to have an afterglow and can lead to depression. Hey, i didnt say im correct, but thats just my subjective expirience. Ive done ecstacy about forty times. Ive done ecstacy, and higher doses as in 120- 400 mgs a night, for thirty nights in six months. The other times I took a thirteen yes thirteen year break, and since then waited once every three months. Ive done once every two weeks twice since then, with 6-apb 90 mgs which is pleasant and not overwhelming, again it depends on the dose. The worst sides ive had was 5-mapb 110 mgs. I tested it and it tested good so i really dont know but I had serotonin syndrome a week and it was really bad. Now a days I start low on a new batch, bc you dont know how strong the batch is, every batch is different, and slowly ramp things up. youre responsible to find that sweet spot dosing and never, go over, the side effects just arnt worth it

One of the best feelings Ive had was my second time rolling, they were triple stacks back in 2000 from around Orlando or Tampa, super strong , one pill was maybe 150-200 mgs, I rolled my second time ever four days after my first time, and did like two and a half pills splitting with a friend, snorting some, and I was in and out of conciousness. It was pure, it had to be, and it felt so good, but I would go unconcious for a few seconds eyes rolling back, then come back, it was amazing. That said, the day after and esp a couple days after I cried , and was at such a low place, I was super depressed that I felt so high and then so low. From my experience its much better to stay within the normal ranges, and not push things, theyll work. the side effects from my expirience just arnt worth it