I'm not a big fan of psychedelics. I've tried a variety of magic mushrooms a few years earlier and never had a good experience with them (mostly due to panic). Anyway aMT is supposedly a "euphoric stimulant" in low dosages, and displays psychedelic action in higher doses. I was aiming to explore the former quality...
In the weeks prior to today, I ingested 2mg, 5mg and 7mg of aMT with no significant effects (i.e. nothing that was discernible from placebo). So today I decided to up the ante and try 15mg to finally feel some nice euphoric stimulation... I ingested the dose immediately after rising on a completely empty stomach. This is probably what made all the difference: all my previous trials were on a semi-full stomach. Anyway I didn't expect much of 15mg, so I went ahead and sat down for breakfast.
At about t+0:30 I started feeling faint hints of nausea. I thought that was quite odd, since I can't remember the last time I felt ill (must have been really long ago). I didn't think much of it and certainly didn't connect it to the aMT at this point. To be honest I had kind of forgotten I had taken it. The nausea soon subsided and I felt ok again... A few minutes later it came back and this time much more intense. I felt like I was going to vomit, so I rushed to the bathroom. Once there the feeling disappeared again and I felt semi-ok. This is very characteristic of the rest of the experience: it comes in fast alternating waves (changing by the minute).
t+0:40 I'm standing in the bathroom and I noticed that with each spell of nausea my heart rate skyrockets up and I could feel sweat pouring from the back of my head. Shortly after, I started feeling very weak, reminiscent of heaving low blood sugar. My body was shaking and I felt extremely nauseous.
t+0:45 I dropped myself onto my bed in the hopes to ease the symptoms.. the ill feelings kept coming in waves. One second I thought "ok, I can manage this" only to feel incredibly sick again the next moment... I could now feel my heart pounding in the back of my head and started noticing threshold psychedelic effects. The walls were waving and my thought process was distorted; making strange associations and whatnot.
t+0:50 This was going all wrong. Not only did I feel NO euphoria during any part of the experience, I felt HORRIBLE and on top of that, seeing the world distort around me didn't exactly help either. So I did what I had to do and reached for my backpack where I had stored a little "emergency kit" for the past three years. It contained one 10mg diazepam pill. I chewed it as quickly as I could and laid back down.
t+0:55 Effects were getting more intense.. I started shivering and felt extremely weak. I noticed my heart rate going completely out of whack; extremely fast, apparently skipping beats etc. I'm quite surprised I didn't panic the fuck out... but how could I? I was feeling so so so TERRIBLE, truly indescribable.. it's not possible to convey this with words, but believe me when I say it was absolutely horrible. I was contemplating taking Midazolam (fast acting, potent benzodiazepine) to knock myself out, but as I started to move around I began feeling even worse... I could do nothing else but lie completely still and wait for this to end.
t+1:05 Even though I was lying down, I felt like I could faint any second. What a mess I was: shaking, shivering, heart pounding, on the verge of puking and about to pass out, seeing the world around me transform. Ugh!!! I tried closing my eyes but noticed I was getting slight visuals, so I decided to keep them open instead not trying to focus on anything....
t+1:15 The alternating cycle of feeling extremely bad and feeling just bad had seemingly stopped. This was the Diazepam kicking in. Still not wanting to move I stayed in the same position for the next hour... then when I turned around I noticed I was feeling ok No more nausea, shaking, racing heart... all gone!
t+2:15 I was quite amazed by the strong muscle relaxation induced by the Diazepam. My muscles felt weak and getting up from the bed required more effort than usual. Even though I was clearly sedated, I still felt clear headed. It really seemed to dull my mind though; very little thoughts going on.... I put on some music and spent the next ~3 hours resting in bed.
t+5:00 Time for a shower. I noticed that besides my major muscle groups, my anus was also extremely relaxed. I could easily put in a finger in there, which is normally a no-go. Anyway, not an avenue I wish to explore further... just an interesting observation
I know aMT is prone to cause nausea in higher doses, but this went way beyond what I had seen described by others, also considering my dosage was quite low. The complete lack of euphoria surprised me, since I've read other reports where the person stated that despite feeling a bit nauseous, strong euphoria was always present.....
Please do not underestimate how horrible this was. I was able to stay quite rational.. I didn't think I was dying - that probably helped loads to stave off panic - but it really felt like I ingested a poison. Thanks for reading.. be safe and enjoy!!