- Joined
- Jan 20, 1999
- Messages
- 9,080
SEX, LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
Who are we, and why are we here?
We are adults (emotionally, not necessarily chronologically) who wish to ask questions and receive advice regarding Sex, Love and Relationship topics. Our main objective is to provide a forum where people feel comfortable to post their thoughts, seek help and advice and otherwise talk about what these topics mean to them. We like to promote an open minded atmosphere that everyone can contribute to.
What did I do wrong? -GUIDELINES
In order to achieve the goals of the forum, we have a few guidelines so we can all enjoy posting and reading here. We also have moderators (listed below) to help make sure the forum runs smoothly and the most people can share their personal views and issues here.
If a post of yours has been EDITED or DELETED, or a thread you have started has been CLOSED, it is most likely because you have violated one ore more of the guidelines below.
1) RESPECT OTHERS
Due to the sometimes sensitive nature of this forum, it is important that you do not belittle people or serious conversations. Use common sense when judging what is appropriate and what is not, based on what is being discussed. If your sense of judgment is poor we will let you know, generally you will find people here very accepting, open-minded and helpful: this is the atmosphere we want to nourish.
Anonymous Posters: We do believe here in SLR that the threads started by an anonymous poster should be handled in a much gentler nature! Please bare in mind that they posted without their screen name because they were already embarrassed about the situation at hand. We as the moderators want to insure that people still feel comfortable about being able to post anonymously within our forum so we will make sure a thread stays on track.
Tough Love will be acceptable, however, insults such as "you're fucked up" wont be.
If a post is abusive, inflammatory, derogatory, or reduces conversation between or among adults to an uncomfortable level, a post will get closed. Other reasons posts are closed include repetition (example: you posted about this problem the day before), personal vents without a request for advice, which we by practice refer to Journal (example: My significant other broke up with me oh fuuuuuuuuuuck), and blatant personal attacks , e.g. " That [insert racial epithet] [insert misogynistic phrase] is totally fucking up my life)".
There is always a way to get your point across without using a derogatory phrase or statement. That includes all words/phrases designed to insult or denigrate certain groups in our community like bitch, slut, whore, nigger and faggot. These terms and others like them will not be tolerated and their use will result in formal warnings. We are ladies and gentlemen and we are expected to act accordingly!
Also BL does not condone the use of violence. And in the spirit of SLR, there will be no acceptance of any humor involving violent acts like raping or beating a female or male. Warnings on site for such violations, as that is not the image SLR wants to set forth.
2) CHOICE OF TOPIC
You may discuss anything that meets the forum description. However, since SLR is a serious forum, all posts must be of an ADULT nature. So, for example, posts like "What celebrity has the best boobs?" as well as puerile jokes belong in the Lounge. This does not mean there is no place for humor here. By all means, have a laugh. Just keep it out of the juvenile realm, m'kay. Also, topics deemed better suited to another forum will be moved, this is as much for your benefit as anyone else's. You’ll get the best replies in a forum better suited to your thread.
If you are a bit shy about your post, please keep in mind that there is an anonymous post forum where you can post your thread….well, anonymously. A staff member then move the thread to the appropriate forum.
3) USE OF IMAGES
The use of images is discouraged in this forum. At the time of the most recent revision of these Guidelines, we have a thread entitled "We Want To See You In Love!" for our posters to post photos of themselves with their significant others. This thread is family-safe and if it does not remain that way, warnings will be provided. SLR is a discussion forum, not a repository for pornography. If you have any questions about what constitutes "pornography" please ask us before posting an image of potentially such a nature.
We will however let on topic images be posted, as long as they are not pornographic. Please remember this is not the lounge so posting a pic for sake of doing so will not be allowed.
4) I THINK THE MODERATOR MADE A MISTAKE. THIS IS BULLSHIT!
If your post was edited, deleted or closed please, DO NOT go back into the thread and post a comment about "why was it deleted" or blast the moderators for their decision. The moderators use their best judgment when making decisions and they base most of their decisions on these guidelines.
If after reading these guidelines, you are still unsatisfied, please send a Private Message (PM) to the moderator responsible asking for clarification. You will find that we are all quite friendly and willing to discuss our decisions with you, you may even get your thread re-opened Have no fears mate, if the moderator jumped the gun and you were handled unjustly, the post has to be reported prior to any changes, so if the mod was wrong, your post will be restored to its original glory.
If the two of you can't see eye to eye, you may take your complaint via PM to one of our Senior Moderators, our Administrator (listed below), or if you must have your say publicly, post your concerns in the Support forum.
5) HOW CAN I BEST CONTRIBUTE TO SLR?
By being yourself, providing the best advice you can, expressing any concerns you might personally have, and in general contributing intelligent commentary on issues and topics that are more abstract. Be yourself. If you have an interest in human relationships, human behavior, questions that face us all, love, truth, and light. It is up to SLR's members (lol) to make SLR a great place to be.
6) NO PORN LITERATURE
you dont need to frame your question in a way that sounds like you are either trying to make yourself laugh or that you are playing with your genitals somewhere. It's not useful for other members and if anything comes across as derogatory. Its trolling and therein lies the crux of why it wont be tolerated.
7) NO COPY AND PASTE
If you copy and paste your question from another site/anywhere on the internet whether you wrote it yourself or not (this is not provable and therefore not up for debate) it will be removed and you will be infracted. This behaviour will be viewed as a combination of spam and trolling.
Also, SLR IS NOT THE LOUNGE. DO NOT TROLL HERE.
ALL OTHER GENERAL BLUELIGHT RULES APPLY
Please refer to the Bluelight User Agreement.
Who are we, and why are we here?
We are adults (emotionally, not necessarily chronologically) who wish to ask questions and receive advice regarding Sex, Love and Relationship topics. Our main objective is to provide a forum where people feel comfortable to post their thoughts, seek help and advice and otherwise talk about what these topics mean to them. We like to promote an open minded atmosphere that everyone can contribute to.
What did I do wrong? -GUIDELINES
In order to achieve the goals of the forum, we have a few guidelines so we can all enjoy posting and reading here. We also have moderators (listed below) to help make sure the forum runs smoothly and the most people can share their personal views and issues here.
If a post of yours has been EDITED or DELETED, or a thread you have started has been CLOSED, it is most likely because you have violated one ore more of the guidelines below.
1) RESPECT OTHERS
Due to the sometimes sensitive nature of this forum, it is important that you do not belittle people or serious conversations. Use common sense when judging what is appropriate and what is not, based on what is being discussed. If your sense of judgment is poor we will let you know, generally you will find people here very accepting, open-minded and helpful: this is the atmosphere we want to nourish.
Anonymous Posters: We do believe here in SLR that the threads started by an anonymous poster should be handled in a much gentler nature! Please bare in mind that they posted without their screen name because they were already embarrassed about the situation at hand. We as the moderators want to insure that people still feel comfortable about being able to post anonymously within our forum so we will make sure a thread stays on track.
Tough Love will be acceptable, however, insults such as "you're fucked up" wont be.
If a post is abusive, inflammatory, derogatory, or reduces conversation between or among adults to an uncomfortable level, a post will get closed. Other reasons posts are closed include repetition (example: you posted about this problem the day before), personal vents without a request for advice, which we by practice refer to Journal (example: My significant other broke up with me oh fuuuuuuuuuuck), and blatant personal attacks , e.g. " That [insert racial epithet] [insert misogynistic phrase] is totally fucking up my life)".
There is always a way to get your point across without using a derogatory phrase or statement. That includes all words/phrases designed to insult or denigrate certain groups in our community like bitch, slut, whore, nigger and faggot. These terms and others like them will not be tolerated and their use will result in formal warnings. We are ladies and gentlemen and we are expected to act accordingly!
Also BL does not condone the use of violence. And in the spirit of SLR, there will be no acceptance of any humor involving violent acts like raping or beating a female or male. Warnings on site for such violations, as that is not the image SLR wants to set forth.
2) CHOICE OF TOPIC
You may discuss anything that meets the forum description. However, since SLR is a serious forum, all posts must be of an ADULT nature. So, for example, posts like "What celebrity has the best boobs?" as well as puerile jokes belong in the Lounge. This does not mean there is no place for humor here. By all means, have a laugh. Just keep it out of the juvenile realm, m'kay. Also, topics deemed better suited to another forum will be moved, this is as much for your benefit as anyone else's. You’ll get the best replies in a forum better suited to your thread.
If you are a bit shy about your post, please keep in mind that there is an anonymous post forum where you can post your thread….well, anonymously. A staff member then move the thread to the appropriate forum.
3) USE OF IMAGES
The use of images is discouraged in this forum. At the time of the most recent revision of these Guidelines, we have a thread entitled "We Want To See You In Love!" for our posters to post photos of themselves with their significant others. This thread is family-safe and if it does not remain that way, warnings will be provided. SLR is a discussion forum, not a repository for pornography. If you have any questions about what constitutes "pornography" please ask us before posting an image of potentially such a nature.
We will however let on topic images be posted, as long as they are not pornographic. Please remember this is not the lounge so posting a pic for sake of doing so will not be allowed.
4) I THINK THE MODERATOR MADE A MISTAKE. THIS IS BULLSHIT!
If your post was edited, deleted or closed please, DO NOT go back into the thread and post a comment about "why was it deleted" or blast the moderators for their decision. The moderators use their best judgment when making decisions and they base most of their decisions on these guidelines.
If after reading these guidelines, you are still unsatisfied, please send a Private Message (PM) to the moderator responsible asking for clarification. You will find that we are all quite friendly and willing to discuss our decisions with you, you may even get your thread re-opened Have no fears mate, if the moderator jumped the gun and you were handled unjustly, the post has to be reported prior to any changes, so if the mod was wrong, your post will be restored to its original glory.
If the two of you can't see eye to eye, you may take your complaint via PM to one of our Senior Moderators, our Administrator (listed below), or if you must have your say publicly, post your concerns in the Support forum.
5) HOW CAN I BEST CONTRIBUTE TO SLR?
By being yourself, providing the best advice you can, expressing any concerns you might personally have, and in general contributing intelligent commentary on issues and topics that are more abstract. Be yourself. If you have an interest in human relationships, human behavior, questions that face us all, love, truth, and light. It is up to SLR's members (lol) to make SLR a great place to be.
6) NO PORN LITERATURE
you dont need to frame your question in a way that sounds like you are either trying to make yourself laugh or that you are playing with your genitals somewhere. It's not useful for other members and if anything comes across as derogatory. Its trolling and therein lies the crux of why it wont be tolerated.
7) NO COPY AND PASTE
If you copy and paste your question from another site/anywhere on the internet whether you wrote it yourself or not (this is not provable and therefore not up for debate) it will be removed and you will be infracted. This behaviour will be viewed as a combination of spam and trolling.
Also, SLR IS NOT THE LOUNGE. DO NOT TROLL HERE.
ALL OTHER GENERAL BLUELIGHT RULES APPLY
Please refer to the Bluelight User Agreement.
Last edited by a moderator: