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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(Nitrous Oxide) - Experienced - Life Changing Problems

Hey - I can talk about Douglas Adams forever, but maybe we should move it to somewhere relevant, so as not to go too off topic - not sure what the protocol is. But I'd be totally happy to carry on talking.

Maybe I'll make an Adam's thread someday, then. :)
 
Gascid, better than love?

Sigh... tough one to qualify - not entirely accurate, but the only words that came in the moment. How can I clarify - the Gascid experience (it really does come down to Nitrous, as I have had similar feelings doing Nitrous on Good pot - and it is hard to tell where the acid ends and the Nitrous begins) - is, for me anyway, more than just personal. I could use all sorts of analogies, none of which would be accurate, as words are inadequate, has become something of a religious experience. This is not to say that it *is* one - or that I advocate any belief system to anyone else - but it often feels to me at certain points that I am wrapped in the arms of 'god' for want of a better word. Like being in love - or making love with God (in a non-sexual sense).

I said 'better than love' - perhaps I should have said 'better than earthly/mortal love' I have never felt so much love as in this state (for *everything and everyone) naturally. When I am bathed in this particular light, I cannot deny that there is nothing more important than what I feel in this place.

I would nerver try to definitively quantify the experience - or those moments of the experience - only to try and describe how I feel. And it feels like I am being embraced with absolute devotion by the divine (if there is a divine). It feels like a spiritual love that has been there forever, not just for me - the human being mortal - but for what I perceive as my immortal and eternal spirit - the amalgamation of everything I have been through time, and will be in time.

I can't explain it - but I *could* guide someone to the same place so that they could form their own opinion. I would never try to dogmatically define such an experience - only attempt to convey how I perceive it's essence.
 
OK - I feel a need to add something to help to qualify the Experience that I call Gascid. It started with Just Nitrous and LSD - but as my life and exploration continued, I started building technologies to enhance the experience - to guide it - so that if I found a specific 'place' in this realm that had a significance - that I could explore it further - quite specifically - and also return to it at a different time. In short, I started working creating a means of technologically controlling the experience - as it is otherwise extremely random. You can have an experience that you cannot recreate.

I guess the most accurate term would be hypnosis. I found a way of hypnotizing myself, and creating quite specific subjective experiences (which is why I say I could guide someone to places I have been). It began with creating a spinning disk, driven by a motor, which changed into a completely different animal on Gascid. It was like having a 'crystal ball' - a device, ito which I could gase, and out of which came visions that were otherwise not there. This was 25 years ago. I have also spent a lot of time studying the effect of stroboscopic light on the mind (Anyone seen those mind/light machines?). And cut a whole in the wheel and put a light behind it so that every revolution added a strobe flash. The faster the wheel the different the experience - so that with a variable resistor attached, I could control the 'speed' at which I travelled. It continued into many wheels which then interacted with one another, and my control became more accurate. I implemented other lights and sound, until I had a space/time ship in which to drive around the universe.

So there is a deeper realm within this experience, one that is an amplification and has the ability to steer where you want to go. I have since used other technologies (LED lights - sound - music) to further have control and to induce hypnotic trances while in this space. Nitrous is the most powerful hypnotic tool that I have enountered - and even someone who is normally resistant to hypnosis, can very easily be 'forced' to enter a trance - and the depth of the trance can be controlled by the stroboscopic rate of the lights, and the speed of the other hypnotic tools. I developed techniques to use during these deep hypnotic states to bring back information from my subconscious mind - or remember details that I would otherwise have forgotten as soon as the moment passed.

I did all of this over a period of about 20 years - so my level of control in terms of my ability to guide myself wherever I wanted to go because quite advanced. And it became easy to return to quite specific 'places' that particularly interested me at a later date (which is otherwise almost impossible).

Unfortunately I have not done Gascid (or nitrous) in a number of years - so my machines were all dissassembled - and sadly all I have left at the moment are my memories. But it is comforting to know that I can always return some day - perhaps when I meet someone who is interested in taking a journey with me.
 
I'm sorry to hear about the physical pain you're in. It's obvious in everything from 'local' level stuff like your word choices to the overall story structure you constructed that 'gascid' largely spared your mind. You're of a generation that was taught to write instead of instant message and text, but still, it's obvious.

I think the title probably snags lots of readers and the compelling lead-in ropes 'em. But yeah, unfortunately long usually=low ratings on bluelight (most places online, really). In any case, it's a great read.

Don't be too sure of your ability to lead a person through a 'gascid' trip with all your tech, though. We still all have substantially different minds and brain chemistry. However, I'm glad you were able to discipline the experience for yourself to such a degree. I think we should use all material means in expanding consciousness, and your posts in this thread are a great example of the possibilities inherent in the use of those resources, and the dangers.
 
I'm sorry to hear about the physical pain you're in. It's obvious in everything from 'local' level stuff like your word choices to the overall story structure you constructed that 'gascid' largely spared your mind. You're of a generation that was taught to write instead of instant message and text, but still, it's obvious.

I think the title probably snags lots of readers and the compelling lead-in ropes 'em. But yeah, unfortunately long usually=low ratings on bluelight (most places online, really). In any case, it's a great read.

Don't be too sure of your ability to lead a person through a 'gascid' trip with all your tech, though. We still all have substantially different minds and brain chemistry. However, I'm glad you were able to discipline the experience for yourself to such a degree. I think we should use all material means in expanding consciousness, and your posts in this thread are a great example of the possibilities inherent in the use of those resources, and the dangers.

Thanks. I knew it was a long post and that many might not read it - but the feedback that I did get made it well worth writing.

Of course being able to lead someone through the trip has no guarantees of any kind. And I tried to imply that the subjective response will be personal for anyone who went there. However, the technological aspect does work as a 'track' to guide the subject. The effect of light on the brain is a very big 'hobby' of mine - and my point was that it is possible to use this technology to produce reliable cerebral responses pretty much across the board - even *without* chemicals.

One of my goals in life is to develop this technology a lot further. Life is a chemical reaction, and I believe that light is something that can be used to actually produce electro-chemical responses in the brain. I believ that it may be possible to use an advanced version of this technology for medical purposes - allowing the brain to produce natural version of the chemicals that people ingest for certain types of ailment.

I also believ that with light and sound, it is possible to induce a psychedelic experience. I hope to prototype this technology in time, and demostrate the theory. But introducing light/sound technology into the psychedelic experience has the effect of playing a significant role on directing that experience.

Nitrous amplifies the effect of light on the brain. The direction, colour, intensity, frequency and pulse rate of the light all play a part in this. But I have yet to prove the theory.
 
Ridiculous post man. I am glad you are mostly alright now. I tried nitrous for the first time about 2 weeks ago, did 1 cart in one breath. I loved the experience, and it was very familiar, but I don't think I will try nitrous again. Just wanted to see what it was like ;)

I know several kids addicted to nitrous because of all the balloons being sold at concerts. Watched my friend do 2x 24cart packs in one sitting, must have been about 40 minutes for all 48. Crazy stuff.


EDIT: I am also prescribed Gabapentin, 300mg at morning/night. It helps me sleep for some reason, and takes the edge off of a lot of anxiety I have. It's not bad to abuse either, 2,800mg sends me on a loop when I smoke over it. Even redosing 300mg for a few hours does it as well. Feels a lot like rolling but without the rush. From what I have read, it is relatively safe.
 
Excellent posts, Merry Prankster! I really enjoyed reading them. I hope to read more from you in the future.
 
I've been reading bluelight occasionally for a few years, but I didn't create an account until I read this post. I totally did recognise myself in your story, perhaps more in your way of being than the details of your story.

Food for thought. Thanks.

I've never taken nitrous, but I'm experienced with psychedelics. Gascid is something I'll definitely explore. If you wrote up a guide for beginners it would be very appreciated by some. I concur with psood0nym's earlier post (the best reply in this thread), but a pathway "to the same place so that they could form their own opinion" would be valued.
 
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Sir,

I have been a member (well, lurker up until 3 years ago) of Bluelight for many years. I have read numerous, almost countless threads here, yet I can count on one hand the number of times a thread has actually interested and intrigued me to post a reply and join the discussion.

Your post was both interesting, enlightening, and a touch tragic. Superb. I, too, consider myself perhaps a bit of a "mad scientist" when it comes to things like these, and that was an incredible story and post. Bravo.
 
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Lol, crazy but I think Steve-O is the person who has done the most nitrous oxide.
 
Intense. That would be the most incredible illustrated tale of human hubris and a very humble redemption. It's full on Icarus and Daedalus reincarnate!
And you still occasionally sip off the old hemlock?!?!
What an enormous tragedy.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
 
Not to threadsh*t, but if you search erowid there are people who seem to have taken nitrous a step or 3 further than you have.

The story that will always stick with me was about these two dudes who would fill an entire tank, and then do it on their boat every single day. A tank is at least 30 boxes of chargers.

I think that dude ended up 'understanding reality' even when he wasn't on nitrous anymore. He completely 'got it'... and it meant that he needed to kill his best friend or something.
 
What an incredible journey you've been on, man, and thank you for sharing it with us. I hold onto hope that your pain will be treatable in the near future.

Btw, whoever said you write like Douglas Adams freaked me out, because I was thinking that after about the 3rd or 4th paragraph!
 
MerryPrankster,

kudos. respect. damn.

honestly, i read the comments before reading your long post..
then i decided to give it a read.. once i got started i just kept on moving closer towards my screen and getting so trapped in your story..

unbelievable..
i agree that n2o is fun! came up with some loop theory that everything goes around and there is no end nor beginning but i just know what it was about.. i forgot how i am to prove it right after it ended lol..
that was getting stoned and taking n2o a few mins after..

so sorry about your pain man.. i honestly hope that you will find a way to manage..

great fucking read.
 
its a real bitch what you have to go threw.
im sorry man.
you helped prove a point, that drugs are not a childs toy to be done by those seeking fun and enjoyment. specialy the stronger ones that can fuck you over for life. physicaly mentaly and emotionly...
And youd think that by now they would have come up with some miracle drug or some super vitamine that could help you cope with that neuroligacal(sorry spelling) problem/malfunction, you know...other than just takeing away the pain.
But to say the least your a pioneer of the drug world.
Bringing us indepth information of what can come...
We owe you our respect and our gradification.
...goodluck...
 
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