Official Compendium of E-tard moments and quotes

my female friend whilst high on acid ate some "space dust" popping candy, then she opened her mouth really wide and asked everyone if they could see the sparks!
 
^ LOL

After my first ever rave, I was really fucked on MDMA and spent about 20 minutes staring at my friend who I went with, he's looking at me all weird and he's like 'why are you staring at me?' and I replied 'you look really familar.. are you Steve?'. He just burst out laughing, I had known this guy for about a year at this point...
 
* * *Breaths in through nose* * *

OOOOhhhh every breath is soooo Good....
 
my friend sucked my other friends big cheesey toe for another E because he couldnt face the comedown.
 
coming home after a party got raided~ still rolling absolute bawls

walk by dogs barking and i say with like 10 people around me

"hush doggy number one and doggy number two!"

yee lol
 
At a concert, at the end of an excruciating 1h30 opening act:
«This is killing my EARS!!»
 
Me and some random guy at the bathroom who gave me a light for my cig.

Me: Hey man, you got some weed on ya? I'd really wanna smoke some weed right now.
Him: No, sorry.
Me: Listen, I'll give you some md if you just get some weed, call your friends, I don't know, figure something out.
Him: I really don't know anybody....
Me: I'll give you a lot of md, it'll really be worth your while. And some cigarettes, I'll give you some cigarettes as well, three cigarettes, okay four? How about that?

LOL, It was kind of dangerous, the guy could might as well been an undercover cop or something. But I really liked him cause he gave me a light for my cig and I thought we had a bond or something hahaha.

The same time, a few hours after that I went downstairs and some guy who I met once or twice before in my life recognized me and we talked for a bit. Then this random girl came up to us and asked us for a cigarette. We both said we didn't have any, the other guy said he didn't smoke.

And like literally 3 seconds after that I said.

ME:- Now, seriously, do you have a cigarette? Can I have one? (I knew he did smoke)
HIM:- You really think i'd lie to this girl, wtf?
ME: Wait... what?

And I turned around and she was standing RIGHT behind me. I had completely forgotten she was still there, I honestly thought she left.
 
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This thread is priceless. Here are a few of my gems.


We'd all dosed a tenth of MDMA on the way to a show...

Me: Do you know where we're going?
Friend driving: Not exactly but it'll work out
Me: Well how will you know when we've arrived? We can't be tardy

Later, waiting for the show to start, music playing on the PA, sound guys on stage doing equipment check etc...

Me: Is this the show?
Friend: What? (as in "Is what the show?")
Me: Right now
Friend: Not yet but almost
Me: Let me know when it starts


Not MDMA, but one of my favorite memories of this friend- Close friend/roommate and I dosed LSD and went to the University Culinary Club weekly potluck which was interesting but actually not as awkward as you'd think. Later that night went on a hike up into the hills at the end of the street(northern CA coast, our house/neighborhood was in the redwoods). We're up top sitting in a clearing with a view out over the town and the bay...

Friend: What is that? Do you hear that?
Me: What?
Friend: I keep hearing a cow
Me: Where?
Friend: I don't know
Me: Well where does it sound like it's coming from?
Friend: I'm not sure. But I swear it's a cow.
Me: What would a cow be doing up here at night?
Friend: I don't know but what else could it be? It's gotta be a cow.
Me: How can we find out for sure?
Friend: We can't be sure it's a cow
Me: We'd have to find it to be sure
Friend: Then I guess the next logical step would be to look for the cow?

It was only with the use of the word 'logic' that we both became simultaneously aware of the level of absurdity we'd reached by diligently applying our own acid-addled and not at all logical (or even rational) logic to a non-existent problem, and the unlikelihood of there being a lone mooing cow nearby roaming the forest at that elevation in the dark. We were rolling in the dirt with tears in our eyes for God knows how long after that. We didn't search, and we didn't encounter any cows, but we never ruled out the possibility that the sound he'd heard might have actually been produced by a cow. In hindsight, judging by the distance to the nearest pasture and thus the nearest cow, the topography of the land, and our heightened auditory sense, I believe it is acoustically possible but improbable that a cow's moo from way down below our vista could have been within range of hearing.
 
Man my friends and i, me especially had a long and intense love affair with E. I was 19 and rolled a few times maybe 3-5 sporadically throughout my young life but I just didn’t really get it or give it a chance, it be given to me at a house party or something when I was drunk as shyyt about to pass out or some girl would give me a pill and the sex was great but once my coke G and weed dealer moved in with me he showed me what it was all about. He was Italian, total metrosexual, loved techno and we’d eat 4-5-6 rolls each throughout the night driving around doing drug deals downtown at night blasting music that I now found irresistible and having endless meaningful conversations, never knowing where the night would take us, even if it wasn’t anywhere not knowing was half the fun! Occasionally we’d drop by a club but honestly the vibe we had going on in his techno dj midnight Volvo rider was waaaayyyy more of an adventure! Hahaha. Eventually my friend Danny got arrested, got out met a girl and sadly was not only no longer my roommate or drug dealer but I lost my rolling buddy. My other so called friends which were supposed to be cool as they were brothers and quite a bit older, but man they never wanted to do anything except sit on their asses smoke bud play video games all day and listen to black metal smh. Fucking lame! So I asked their younger brother and step brother which were both only 16 if they would come doll with me in the city and had no plans no idea what would happen but promised it would be the most fun of their lives. And they were down like Charlie Brown, not only for that but anything everything!!! And even though they were just kids they were adventurous little dudes and made great rolling buddies for the next several years to come. In the beginning they were far too young to get into any clubs so we’d just ride around all night in crazy outfits stopping at hotels pretending we were Russian or Romanian and couldn’t speak English and just fuck with the people that worked there at 5am doing obsurd loud and inappropriate illegal most likely things until they basically would either call or threaten to call the cops, then we’d just go to get the next nearest hotel hahaha. We also liked going to dinners and order everything that’s free like lemon wedges cherries whip cream and waters while blasting and dancing to our own boombox that we just had to bring in with us all the while also doing funny accents. Most places loved us! Or least put up with us, we were fun and ridiculous and funny, we’d give out like 20-30 pairs of sunglasses to the staff that we just stole from the gas station literally across the street not 30 min ago or pay for our free buffet that we never touched with a rolled up $50 or $100 once our drugs were gone covered in an assortment of multi colored E powder from all night. We got pretty good at the accents too, except sometimes we’d get so fucked up we’d accidentally go to the same dinner we were just at like 2-3 hours ago now playing different characters with different accents and we’d wonder honestly why our older lady waitress is such a bitch and looking at us funny like she isn’t buying our whole thing like usual hahaha it actually took us a good hour at least to put it together but not entirely until the following weekend the morning afteer barely escaping cops when I young cute waitress helped us out by sneaking us out with her through the kitchen and then chilling at her place where although she thought we were all somewhat mad, out there must be a little crazy we also were a lot of fun and we knew how to have it, she also shyly hesitantly not to burst our bubble but they at the dinner have been onto us for quite sometime and probably so have the surrounding others lol. I mean it was kind of obvious when you think about it, we’ve been doing this for at least 6-9 months every weekend and recently like 4-5 times a week. There were a only sooo many dinners and hotels in the Atlanta area and we partied at them all with the false confidence and drug fueled cockiness that it was a different experience every time for us so it must be for them too, plus we wouldn’t recognize the manager that hates us for no apparent reason we shrugged not remembering that we met this particular individual 4 hours ago for probably the sixth doesn’t time hahaha. Yeah lol. And I got to say those were good times. When they finally were old enough to get into raves and clubs, no matter how raging and awesome age crazy the party was, I got to say it didn’t compare to us riding around in Benji’s old beat up car blasting our booombox cause we had no radio and just riding around stopping for any adventure that we saw otw to no where ;)
 
lol.. i always get strange thoughts in my head when i'm rolling... the first time i rolled i thought i would be nice to the club owners and clean up their club area... it was so funny finishing the party with pockets full of trash and going WTF? why do i have all this trash?
I’ve totally done that countless times, they look at you and your friends like you’re homeless crazies, like omg party is over fellas time to go we would never get the hint, no no we don’t mind, putting stuff away that we have no idea where it goes or if it’s even trash just generally rearranging things in random order as if we know exactly what we’re doing, inevitably making their job much much harder but we feel it’s the least we can do after having such a wonderful time at your club and we’re not taking no for an answer. Oh and I’d like to bond with strangers over something they can’t stop talking about, like this one time this lady was talking about her son and I just went along with it, hey my son is also 4 and his name is Michael too, I’d bs meaningful conversation for an hour or two but I’d usually mess it up somehow like forgetting my sons name and start calling my super awesome fake son by a different name an hour into the conversation hahaha. That particular lady totally figured me out, I was busted big time. And I’ll never forget the look she gave me shaking her head not saying a word, like in shock disgust and disbelief why would anyone ever do such a thing, what kind of person are you. I’m thinking jeeze sorry, I was just trying to sincerely bond with you to feel what you must feel like to have and love a son, and I’m insanely high right now.... I’ll forget this entire conversation as soon as I turn around and walk 30 feet to another stranger bonding experience :) lol
 
The scariest I think was when I was a total fucking moron and decided to take 4 blue scorpions in one night, but they were methbombs. About 10 hours after my "being fuckedupness" went away (the beginning) my body just literally shut down. My face was beginning to glow red and so were my hands, Everything was moving really sluggish, as if I was inside jello, but I tried to keep it under control. I would put my hand on my chest and feel how fucking fast it was beating --- I was so fucking paranoid I drove up to my local supermarket and ran into the back on a free blood pressure check. I saw the numbers and they were pretty high, so I knew most of it was anxiety.

My friend was just sitting there with his girlfriend, hoping I wasn't going to fall over or pass out but he really didn't care about my personal safety, since he was ignoring me and we were in HIS house that he just got from his father. If anything was to happen to me during that time, I would have been fucked. I don't talk to my friend that i've had since 6th grade anymore. So many great times --- all ruined by his meth abuse.

The next 48 hours were the hardest hours i've ever been through in my entire life. I want to KILL those fuckers who make meth based ecstasy pills. I almost died from that shit. I had heart arrythmias for about 3 months, anxiety shot through the roof, was depressed as FUCK for 3 months. It was a truly horrible experience, and I know I damaged my body that day due to excessive amounts of Methamphetamine consumption. I'm just glad I don't do meth or do any type of other drugs aside from Marijuana. I used to roll every two weeks, then bi monthly, then took a long ass break. Now I only roll once bi monthly like I used to.

I've probably had some neurotoxic damage done to my brain by these rolling mis-haps, but for only having ONE life ---- All of those times i've rolled with my friends definately make up for it. Good times, Good times.

As for something really weird? Well, when I first started rolling me and about 5 other of my friends bought some red dolphins (AMAZING press back then, pure clean dolphins, 02-03) and I had CLEAN pills my first time. Not so many times can people say that, but anyway I was sitting on my friends couch and I started talking about stuff and then I noticed the floor started to turn colors, and It became really dark blue and I thought I was going to drown in the ocean so I hopped my feet up onto the couch. I then said "holy shit dude, is your carpet an ocean?" I didn't know how rolled out I was until I clasped my hands together and flicked open my red-blue flashing lighter and holded it up to my chest and I said "MY HEART IS GLOWING!!!" and just gasped for air. Oh good times.

Another time is where me and a couple of my friends went and got some pink dolphins (same press, approximately 3 weeks later after the last story) and we went into my friend's basement to chill and basically just roll the fuck out. So we did, but crazy shit started to happen --- I was chillin in my friend's chair with the light on, and then he turned the light off then on again and I told him the universe just exploded and then my other friend came in there and gasped and said "HOLY SHIT". MDMA is some pretty crazy shit. E-tarded for the win.

Another funny time was when I first started rollin again, and I was chillin in my car and so were all of my other homies listenin to music (CRAZY fuckin rolled at this point) and my friend shows me a trick; he takes out a cigarette, lights it and says "watch --- when i move this cigarette down, it'll smoke. when i move this cigarette back up, there wont be any smoke." Sure as shit --- it was a crazy ass sight to see. He basically made the lit cigarette not smoke at all --- but it was just e-tardedness prevail.

Now the BEST time, was when I was at my other friend's house and we decided to roll that night, popped them and then about two hours later a couple of my friend's that didn't want to roll that night were downstairs smokin a blunt. I walked down, took some big ass hits and then started ROLLING FACE. My friend has never done it before and said I looked pretty fuckin gone, and I then proceeded to tell him, "DUDE. ECSTASY IS THE TIGHEST FUCKING SHIT IN THE WORLD. WANT TO KNOW WHY? ALRIGHT WATCH THIS SHIT. IT'S GOING TO BE THE TIGHEST SHIT YOU'LL EVER SEE." I then told him "Alright you see that light up on the ceiling there? From where I am, (the couch far away) I'm gonna flick this coin and hit that shit spot on. Know why? That's what ecstasy does. It allows you to do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT." At that time, I really didn't think I was going to be able to do it. |||||FLICK|||||. Sure as shit, I hit it spot on. I orgasmed in my brain, and just walked up the stairs and closed the door. My friend shat himself.
Excessive meth consumption....really? Dude you did it once smh. You didn’t also die, everyone thinks that the first few times, especially the verst time they crash off Tina then you realize what it is and most if not all of the terrifying psychological but physical symptoms you have are quite common and to be expected. That’s not to say that one can’t overdue it but it’s a lot harder than one thinks. And come on... really all those after effects for 3 months, dude you had it in your rolls once smh. I had it in nearly every roll I took for 2-5 times a week for 4-5 years and I preferred it! The first and every time I did pure molly it wasn’t anything like I expected. All my favorite things about rolling weren’t there, I felt amazing and super fucked up but not even close to partying and rolls with just the perfect amount of good ole speed ;) kept the party going. And after I quit taking E pressed pills, mdma, mda sass, bkmda, bkmda or anything like it I was a little bored and depressed in the beginning like a very mild almost unnoticeable long comedown, then it went away. Same thing when I did a 3-6 day meth binge for 3 years, that and my hands aches and with both my sex drive was pretty much temporarily ruined until it eventually came back to being normal and healthy. Like come on man, don’t exaggerate or be such a naive pussy. You know how similar your beloved mdma and meth are chemically speaking? Look it up, it might surprise you. I’m defending Tina, shards are fucking pure poison that on its own will rot you from the inside out and outside I’m quicker than nearly any drug including RC’s on the planet but MDMA certainly isn’t harmless, if you take too much of either you’ll experience all the same side effects, and you can damage your body over time with both in the same ways. I’d say meth is darker, more extreme, definitely tweaks you to the point of not sleeping or eating for days on end or drinking anything or experiencing temporary psychosis and generally bad potentially lethal things to your body that if done without the meth would still be just as dangerous, and I think it’s easier to overdue it, keep it going. MDMA just fucks you up silly and you get to that point where you’re over heating, shallow breathing and not nearly as often as you should, not hydrating, can’t pee, throwing up, all these are sone of the symptoms of a meth OD, with both drugs there are risks both in the long and short term.
 
i've experienced a lot of out of the ordinary shit while rolling. for me, hands down this was the weirdest:

Rolling balls @ a rave in downtown l.a. 2000, my face was saturated w/ vicks. this i was sitting indian style and this girl started massaging my face. i'm sure all you know what I'm talking about when you get a massage and you feel slight sensations of an orgasm coming on. but this was different. those "slight sensations" kept growing, and growing, and growing to the point that I was having a full blown orgasm. It was the most INTENSE orgasm of my life, literally. i was saying out loud uncontrollably, "Oh my God, oh my god.." I don't usually say shit like that when i'm cumming. but it was so intense i had no control. since my eyes were closed, i was seeing red. and the red would become brighter with each peak of the orgasm. That was the first and only experience i've ever had. I've had great orgasms, but they aren't shit compared to the intensity of that orgasm @ the rave. by the way, i wasn't hard and I didn't shoot a load. Damn, I'd be the most content fucker in the world if I could have orgasms like that on a daily or even weekly basis.
It is possible for a man to orgasm but not necessarily shoot cum either a gift from birth and you’re just like that or a skill that with a whole lot of training and dedication, in time one can train their body to have both and control both, essentially having various size orgasms eventually leading up to the mother load where you erupt like a volcano, essentially like a woman. Good for you man! Don’t let it be a fluke, you have the gift or her magic touch did ;) hahaha. But you got the ability, now learn to harness it and besides being a god in bed, you’ll enjoy the experience more than you ever have as well. Also it to have a lover, a partner that you can practice what you acquire, its all in tantric sexual practices and really opens some amazing in explored doors with your partner bringing you closer than ever before. So good luck, and same can be said about not even being hard like in a prostate exam or just milking it. But to do all this with barely being touched and so far from the general “area” is quite amazing indeed. Nothing is impossible but wow, that’s fucking sensual, sexual miracle right there! I hope you got the woman with the magic hands’s number lol
 
Back in 2011 we came across some white pumas that tasted a little bit minty at first and then just super bitter. Everyone took 1 pill and rolled nuts super f***** up couldn't pee for hours couldn't even find the bathroom in my own house. Anyway at one point my buddies phone started going off urgently with text messages from his girlfriend I guess, as f***** up as he was he reaches over and pulls up a remote like a TV remote thinking it was his cell phone he's desperately trying to read the text message on the TV remote so he passes it to me and says can you read this to me? We just laughed incessantly you could tell he was confused so he repeated. " please just tell me what it says".


So now it's a bit of an inside joke between myself and my old friends
 
My super uptight did everything right best friend roll for the first time when he hit his Peak asked us in a serious tone if his nipples were too big. . He said that's why he never liked to go swimming is because he was afraid people would make fun of his big nipples . I don't know why , something the way he seemed so calm through me off ... He was fine after a light show and a dance but right at first I wondered if he was ok mentally. The next day we went swimming and he took his shirt off I think that was a bit of a breakthrough lol
 
I once did I'V a strong MDA pill... it felt like someone shoved a spruce tree into my head.

I rang my buddy on the phone, and told him: "Hey man, I just shot some Md..mm.m.mm..mmm.mA!" ;D
 
Back in my raving 90's days, I was dancing around with glow sticks and I kissed my girlfriend, who was laying underneath the covers, on the cheek but then she turned and looked up and it was actually not her but her brother..lol..... His face was pure terror and confusion when he looked at me.

I used to embarrass the shit out of him by telling people about it.
 
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during a show, we decided to pass the last of a bag of molly amongst ourselves. we huddle up a bit and whoever takes out the bag says, "be a little subtle about it." hands it to a girl and she turns around, facing the crowed, to take her dip.

another fest, i was refilling a disposable water bottle and it was taking forever. there was of course a line for the drinking fountain. someone walks up and says something that makes my friend crack up. he gets my attention saying, "hey, people telling you that you gotta take the cap off the water bottle."
 
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