Official Compendium of E-tard moments and quotes

Thank you,uacvax. I refuse to get into yet another back and forth netfest. Bring on some more storys. Hell,I'll add another one of my own.

My friends picked up some White Panda bears about four years ago. I was with a girl from work I hooked up with who was scared to roll,but she didn't mind if I did. I ate three off the top(my tolerance at that time was very high) Everyone else ate one. There were six of us rolling and I felt bad that my girl was the only one who wasn't. She said she didn't mind. If everyone acted fine and looked like they were having a great time,she said she might actually try one. Things were going great:everyone chatting up a storm,getting ready for the roll. Then they came on strong! My memory of that night is very fuzzy because I kept blacking out,but my friends were more than happy to fill me in with the details. I would speak,but no one could understand what I was saying. My girl/coworker was scared and telling them that maybe they needed to take me to the hospital. By then,they were all PLURing like a motherfucker and told her that I would be fine. They calmed her down while a friend of mine brought me into another room until I leveled out. My friend told me that I had to go to the bathroom. Apparently I was in there for a while,because the girl I was with knocked on the door and asked me if I was alright. When she opened the door,I was standing in front of the shower,pants down to my ankles,jerking off like a monkey on meth,moaning her name. She screamed and I snpped out of my daze. I was so startled,I fell forward into the shower,pulling the shower curtain down with me. When my friends came in,they said I was thrashing around,yelling for someone to get me out of the cobwebs. They helped me out of the tub,dick hanging out,pants down and a small gash on my forehead. The girl I was with ran out of the house and drove off like a bat out of hell. Needless to say,going to work the next day was excruciating. She wouldn't look me in the eyes and I eventually quit. My friends LOVE to bring that story up every chance they get.
 
i've experienced a lot of out of the ordinary shit while rolling. for me, hands down this was the weirdest:

Rolling balls @ a rave in downtown l.a. 2000, my face was saturated w/ vicks. this i was sitting indian style and this girl started massaging my face. i'm sure all you know what I'm talking about when you get a massage and you feel slight sensations of an orgasm coming on. but this was different. those "slight sensations" kept growing, and growing, and growing to the point that I was having a full blown orgasm. It was the most INTENSE orgasm of my life, literally. i was saying out loud uncontrollably, "Oh my God, oh my god.." I don't usually say shit like that when i'm cumming. but it was so intense i had no control. since my eyes were closed, i was seeing red. and the red would become brighter with each peak of the orgasm. That was the first and only experience i've ever had. I've had great orgasms, but they aren't shit compared to the intensity of that orgasm @ the rave. by the way, i wasn't hard and I didn't shoot a load. Damn, I'd be the most content fucker in the world if I could have orgasms like that on a daily or even weekly basis.
 
I'm not sure it should count since there were other things invovled but it is most definatley the oddest thing I've expirienced . . .

**WARNING** I do NOT advocate the excessive use of ANY substance. . .

that said. . .

I had been doing quite a bit of blow one night. . . to the point where your nose is cloged and your entire upper body is full of powder. . . It was decided that the only proper course of action was, natrually, to take some X and drop some CiD. I'm now rolling quite nicely as well as enjoying a lovely trip and I need to blow my nose. I'm quite stuffed up from the previous adventure so the nasal passages are not at all flowing as they should. . . I should also mention that this particular batch of blow had a tendancy to sort of "re-rock" itself while in your nostril. . .

so i'm standing in the bathroom looking into the mirror preparing to blow my nose. . . i take a deep breath and commence to blowing. . .

Due to my inflamed/clogged/blocked nasal passages the pressure had no where to escape to. . . except. . .

I opened my eyes as I continued to blow and literally watched as a nice sized rock of hardened powder crept it's way up my tear duct and just popped right out of my eye. . . I could see it's journey up and watched in amazement as it popped right out. . .

the oddest thing i've ever felt/seen. . .
by far. . .
 
I was in Sydney and had a few cookies. When I went back to the hotel my wife said I kept asking her about her children (she has none) with her ex boyfriend (we have been together 7 years). I also went on about alien spies in our room and went to the shower 7 times and was trying to shave in the shower. That's about the worst of it!!

I left in the evening with 8 pils, I'd rather not say how many I came back with.
 
Surely,someone has more stories to add. I mean,I've got at LEAST 50,myself. Mainly because I used to sell them and rolled a hell of a lot. OK. I guess I'll bump this tread by sharing another one.

A group of my friends and I starting to roll pretty hard and decided to go to Wal-Mart(for some reason,this place is a mecca for rollers) A couple went to get the cliched glowsticks while my girl and I went to the dvd section. She kept rubbing her hands on my shoulders,telling me how horny she was. This was annoying me,because I can almost never get an erection and she knew that.

After a few minutes,I got to the point where I was rolling so hard,I couldn't even focus on the titles. I felt euphoric,but also a little panicky. I didn't want to go wandering around Wal-Mart looking for my friends and I didn't see my girl. So I just stood there,pretending to read the back of the boxes,in total bliss,but wanting my friends to hurry up and join me. Then,I felt my girl standing behind me. I mean,if she were any closer she would have been touching me. So,I reached my arms behind me,pulled her to my back and said,"Watch it girl. I might not be able to fuck you,but I just might throw you on the floor and eat your pussy in front of everybody." I was also about to add that I was so glad that she was there and could we go find our friends,when I heard her laughing. Only she wasn't behind me. Her laughter was coming from the right of me. I turned around,and out of all the fucking people in the world,it was my boss from the video store I was working in at the time that was located inside of Wal-Mart.

She had seen me come in and was trying to surprise or scare me by walking up on me. I don't know what kind of expression she had on her face. I could barely focus to see that it was my boss(she was 50 something years old,btw,so in no way was this a thing she would completely understand)All I know is that she rushed off and that my girl would not stop laughing. Apparently,I said it louder than I thought I had,because several other people around us were laughing too. I was rolling too hard to be embarrassed,but I knew that I had fucked up. I wanted to go talk to my manager and explain everything,but my girl talked some sense into me. We found my friends and got the hell out of there.

I had to go to work two days later. My boss brought it up first. She said that I should never go in public as drunk as I was that night. I quickly agreed and apologized about ten times. After that,everything was "as cool as that situation could get",but I get embarrassed as hell every time I think about it. Maybe sharing it on BL will be kind of theraputic. I mean,YOU guys wouldn't laugh at me.
 
Long story but great...

My g/f and I were rolling on the beach of Lake Michigan this past summer. It was around 1a.m. and it was a very calm night with almost no waves. We were just sitting in the sand close to the water when a kayaker paddled by. I thought it was really cool because he had about a dozen glowsticks being used as navigation lights. He passed and I thought it was funny but unusual and we were soon lost in conversation.

About 15 min after he passed I looked over my shoulder and saw him trying to walk up the steep hill that leads to the condos (he had parked his kayak farther down the beach). He was walking in a manner that look like he was in Grand Theft Auto. Walking around aimlessly doing a whole lot of nothing. He soon spotted us sitting in the sand and walked over. When he got to us the full moon showed me that dressed like a navy seal. He had on a tactical life vest with all sorts of gadgets and glowsticks and attached to the side of his calf was a big ass knife.

"Do you know where Sleepy Hollow is at?" he said. "No." I said. Terrified by his question and the thought of him now going to kill us with his knife I thought about attacking him before he could do anything. "I just rowed in and I think I'm lost." He continued. "Do you know where North Shore Drive is?" Pointing to the condos I said, "That road is on the other side of those houses." "Oh." he said. "How far away am I from Mt. Pleasant?" I said, "Its about 3 hours away and on the other side of Michigan." "Oh, well thats good." he said. "I didn't want to go that far." At this point of the conversation I am almost positive that he is on some sort of drugs. Maybe acid. I really wanted to ask him but thought that it might be a bad idea. "So I'm looking for the intersection of North Shore Drive and Basline Road." he said. I explained to him that the intersection he was looking for was right behind us less that 100 yards away. He then said "So you two are just hanging out on the beach?" I replied with "Yep." We continued the conversation for a minute or two more. "Well I guess I'll find it eventually." he said and went running down the beach to his kayak. We were a minutes walking distance from where he wanted to and yet I watched him run the wrong way to get into his kayak to paddle off somewhere.

Confused and happy to be alive we sat down and started talking about what had just happened. It was about 15min later I look down the beach and saw someone with glowsticks and a flashlight. I told my g/f that he was probably to fucked up on whatever he was on and that we should walk down there to help him. When we got there he was talking to some guy. When I asked if any help was needed they said no. I started to walk away but walked back and said "I'm sorry but I gotta ask, what are you doing kayaking this late at night?" The kayaker replied with "I just rowed in and got lost. My girlfriend got worried and called the police." Just then the sound of dispatch coming over a police radio was heard. The other guy took his flashlight and pointed it towards himself and said "Its ok, I'm a cop." I guess I didn't see the small boat beached in the sand with the words SOUTH HAVEN POLICE on the side of it (hey it was dark). We then walked back up to the condo and went inside.

Sorry its long but thats the only way you can get the full effect of it all. Tell me what you think.
 
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was rolling hard at a club once and was speaking to this chick whom turns out there pretty often every weekend. she sort of popped the question if i wanted to leave the place and go screw or soemthing.

however, i had some really good pills that night and was rolling balls. Was peaking so hard i coudlnt even say a single word. I tried singalling with my facial expressions but nothing was working. Seeing i was totally munted, she stormed out of the club.

Not knowing she left for good, i continued sitting at the sofa staring at light trails off the disco ball for the next 30mins.

Felt like a loser when i was done peaking when i realised i sat at the sofa at the club and did nothing else for 2hours straight up.
 
I was chatting on Yahoo and happened upon a girl who went to the college down the road from me. We got to talking about E and she said she had never rolled before. I've always been spontaneous and I had some REALLY great tabs(red envelopes),so I asked her if she wanted to meet up that night and roll. After talking online for a little while and later on the phone,she agreed.

I picked her up and we went to my friend's house to smoke before going to the club. She was shy and quiet,just listening to all of us talk. When we all got into my car,her roll kicked in hard. All she could say was,"Oh my God!"over and over and laugh. It was beautiful. We got to the club and she was all over me. She kept insisting that we go back to my place. Being a gentleman and not wanting to take advantage of a first time roller,I told her no. A couple hours later,we were both still rolling hard and she insisted on coming home with me.

As soon as we get in the door,she starts taking off her clothes and telling me how bad she wants me. I ask her if she's sure,if it's not the drug talking and she responds by unbuttoning my pants. Usually,I cant "perform" when I'm rolling,but that night was an exception. We were going at it for a while,having some fantastic sex when she grabs the side of my face and says,"I love you." I told her that she didn't. That she loved the fact that I introduced this wonderful drug and feeling to her. She tells me no,that I'm her soulmate and starts crying and laughing at the same time. I'm still rolling,still inside her,but all I could think was OH SHIT! I had to stop.

I told her I was thirsty and went and got us some water. I come back and she's all hugging on me,telling me that she's been looking for me her entire life. I keep telling her it's the E. She keeps telling me it's fate,all the time hugging tight against me. I start getting a little freaked out at this point. She even says that I don't have to tell her that I love her. That she knows already! Later on she finally starts coming down,so I gave her a Klonopin and eat about five my damn self. I don't even remember going to sleep.

That morning,I wake up and she's already dressed,awake and in my chair. Staring at me. I say hey and she says in a real sharp tone that she's ready to go. We get all the way to her place in complete errie silence,except for the radio. Before she gets out,she tells me that she knows I don't love her. That I used her and that she wished me dead. Her last words were,"I never want to see you again! Fuck you,Dusty!"(my name's Jamie)and slams the door. I drive home,half relieved,half freaked the fuck out that this crazy chick knows where I live. To summarize,I met a girl,we had sex,she fell in love with me and broke up with me. All in the sum of 12 hours. Those were some great tabs,though.
 
Double dropped a few months ago at home and my wife told me at one stage I was sitting on the steps patting/stroking my runners saying "good girl, good cat"...... We have no cats and I don't recall this at all.

S.
 
This all happened in the same night:

I left a club while it was still dark in Manhattan. I was still rolling hard because I left early since the music sucked and I just felt like being somewhere else. All alone, I could not find my car at all. After an hour, I started to really panic so I took a minute to try and tie my shoe laces which had come undone. After 3 unsuccessful attempts, it came to my attention that I completely forgot how to tie my own shoe laces so I gave up, feeling very sad, and continued looking for my car. I walked past this homeless guy shuffling about when he stopped me and told me to hold a package for him. He mimed handing me this imaginary box and told me to hold this non-existent box to my ear. I humored him, held up nothing to my ear and he asked me if i heard anything. I said no at which point he informed me it was ticking and then screams BOOOOM! totally startling me. I walk away even more distressed until I finally found my car, hopped in and drove home, shoelacees untied.
 
Craziest head fuck on E was at an afterparty and I was knocking on the dark side of double figures. I was talking to a guy and he said something. I said "give me five" in the most innocent way possible. He then started shouting and said "are you taking the piss? I've only got 3 fingers". He held up his hand which had 3 fingers and a thumb. At that moment I was thinking "what the fuck, is this real or is it only because i'm wrecked?". Total head fry. He then started laughing and said "No it's OK, I know you didn't mean it" but I still freaked out big time. Weirdest thing thats ever happened me. Once the drugs wore off later I checked and he definately did only have 3 fingers on one hand!
 
I was talking about this with my brother last night about this and we still can’t believe it.....

My brother and I were at a huge party in Florida and the people that we came with were pissing us off because they wanted to leave and finish partying at the hotel but Diesel Boy was spinning and my bro really wanted to see the end of his set. So after his set we are kind of pissed off from the nagging and bust out the first door we could find. The door was all the way on the other side of the building from our car. So we walk through the parking lot slowly just trying to get our head straight for the drive back to the hotel. We started talking about all the drinking parties we had in high school and he looks up to the sky and says "god....I could really use a beer right now" and just as he looked back down our eyes caught something. Over by a light pole, in the middle of this almost empty parking lot, there stood a single beer. He ran over to it and picked it up and it was still cold. we stood there laughing for a while and I looked up to the sky and said "God...I could really use a 10 pack right now.

We had a good laugh and kept walking. Then I spotted something in the parking lot. I stopped dead in my tracks and grabbed him and yelled LOOK!!. It was a ways away and we were saying on the way over "don't get your hopes up because its 1,000,000 to 1 odds that it was what I asked for. It was a small plastic baggie stuffed full of 10 pill of E. When we got back to the hotel we split them up among the people we came with and had a blast into the morning.

Its been close to 10 years since that party and we still talk about it.=D
 
e-tarded quotes

From me, recently:

"This hummus is the shit!!"

No, you really haven't tasted hummus like I did. :)

ebola
 
"I'm sweating my ass off."

"You're sitting on a heating vent."

"Well, damn, Im still rolling. :p"

"Get off that vent."

"Ok."

"LOL"

"What? Got a problem?"

"Here, come take a whippet."

"Ok."

"LOLOLOL."
 
A mate said this while on his first pill........... Help me. Im glued to the door.

He was standing next to a door at the time and was there for about ten minutes.
 
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