Official Compendium of E-tard moments and quotes

fuck i bit my mouth...
fuck i bit my mouth...
fuck i bit my mouth again!
got any chewy?
 
usually i say something like "vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag
" which means weird in dutch,on the other hand i've seen people (and been told i did this myself) pick up their gsm's and have a conversation with no one on the other side.
 
these are some phrases i've been known to have said... and documented..
"I have no legs!"
"and one time in band camp... heeeey!! we want some puuuussaayy!"
"Daddy would you like some sausages?"
"MMmmm... speaker..." (homer voice)
"Hey Noah! Jump in the ole' ark, eh??"
"Would you be my Valentine?"
"Hey stuck up ho... pack that shit.. dont try to act like you dont suck dick"
"where have all the cowboys gone?"
 
-You're driving home all cracked out at 4 a.m. and your listening to music, then you ask the person next to you to turn it up and they say, "The music's not on!"
-You're looking at yourself in the mirror and the shadows on your face start to become 2-D.
-When you're sitting in the back of a car and you can't stop moaning and rubbing your own body.
(T & J)
 
when ther are tiny men dancing on you're black TV-screen.
when you can read every word there is on you're wall and the meanings of those words are explained by your friends.
when you leave the party and you're still seeing the lasershow in your car.
when someone is asking you if you're all loved up and you wonder why this person has no clothes on.
when you expect a comedown an find out it's just started.
 
You come to and wonder HOW THE FUCK!! Did I get into this room, and who is this under me!! ;) what about table 39, and did Joe feed the horses.
 
When you finally remember to go to the bathroom, and end up sitting on the pot for an hour watching the movie playing on the back of the stall door.
When you start to read the words written in chalk on your friend's hair.
When you have this feeling that there's something utterly important that you NEED to go do NOW, but you just can't decide what it is.
 
When u try to light your smoke for bout 10 mins then realize that u were trying to light the filter end......heh heh. Happened to me a couple times now....even when the filter end is different coloured than the rest of the smoke I always end up trying to smoke the wrong end.
 
When you are playing a video game and ask your friend if he wants to play only to have him tell you the PS2 isn't even on. LOL
Or when you look at the Tony Clark(ex-tigers baseball player) poster he starts to tell you about how the team played that day.
 
You see 2 random people aruging in a convenient store and you feel as though it is your duty to stop the fighting and spread the peace...
 
Twas the time i double dropped some "happy mitzi's" cuz they seemed to make ya really happy (i know most pills make ya happy, but these made ya xtra happy)

So anyway we was all troopsin' thru a golfcourse and i was peaking my fuckin arse off, so i said to somone by me "watch this, im gonna jump over that sand bunker" so he looks at me puzzled and says "k" so i'm running at like 100m/ph forget to jump my feet hit tha embankment the other side of tha sand i do a complete forward summersault and rolled down the hill the other side.

Funny as fuck looking back on it, but when i was on the floor rushing my bollox off thinkin WTF just happened it was a propa blag.
 
Well this weekend I watched Voyage of Chihiro, absorbing absolutely nothing of went on in the movie, but concluding it was the Asian cultulral equivalent of Alice in Wonderland

I also watched K-Pax . . . that was very trippy

Then I bit a hole in my tongue, I deduced that since blood tastes good when rolling, I suppose anything does
 
Good Thread RA. One night i actually sat down and thought about the meaning of life, for some reason we all got quite philosophical on those pills and we discussed our theories and made new ones. After that night though i forgot exactly what we had agreed the meaning of life was, oops. Also another night someone spilled a drink and i started to clean it up, it blew me up cleaning it so i ended up cleaning the whole house.
 
lol.. i always get strange thoughts in my head when i'm rolling... the first time i rolled i thought i would be nice to the club owners and clean up their club area... it was so funny finishing the party with pockets full of trash and going WTF? why do i have all this trash?
 
I have this mate of mine when he is pilled up, he will form an in-separable bond with the pets of whoever's house we are crashed at (usually a cat or dog).

He goes off on long walks with the dog claiming that he has found a new best friend. He even starts talking away with them and can get a little confused about why the animal isnt talking back to him.

One night back at a mates house he was on a particularly mad one. He started gettin quite close with dog, doing his usual routine of feeding, walking, stroking and so on. But a couple of hours into the night and the dog had had enough of having this mongo in his face for the past couple of hours. This bloke had gotten the idea into his head that dog now hates him because it no longer wanted to play with him. I sware, he was close to tears!

So anytime we are stayin at a house with animals in it these days, we make sure they are safely locked in a room for the night in the hope that he wont find them and befriend them.

He needs his head checked i reckon
 
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nice guys finish last. thats what i always think about. i mean, every chicks mom likes me. i am nice, smart, honest...you get the point...but chicks always dig the assholes. sometimes i think about going asshole, but then i remember i have the pride of knowing that, on a realistic level, i am worth something to soem people. later on in life, when all these chicks start to settle down, they are gonna look back and be pissed they didnt see me for who i really am.

thats usually brought on by couples going into the bedroom, and i am still on the sofa listening to music. ah well, maybe i should hook up with their moms. this will take some pondering
 
I don't remember if I was drunk or rolling...but yea...lol here we go.

Basically, I came to the conclusion that the Japanese were pissed off @ us about WW2, and that they were using techno as mind control on us. I reinforced this illogical idea by noting my inability to stop listening to any kind of electronica. I felt like I was Paul Revere, and it was my duty to warn everyone: The Japanese were coming. So I did.

Ya...it was really bad.
 
shoe_box said:
lol.. i always get strange thoughts in my head when i'm rolling... the first time i rolled i thought i would be nice to the club owners and clean up their club area... it was so funny finishing the party with pockets full of trash and going WTF? why do i have all this trash?
Click to expand...

Speaking of first rolls, the first time rolled I had this pacifier my friend gave me that was only attached to a flimsy flourescent string which inevitably ended up breaking and I found myself consistantly throwing it around and then frantically searching for it again and again. After doing this for a while, it was finally lost in the chaos of the party. Desperately needing something to fix the oral fixation, I started just sucking on this large dried clay mushroom I had on as a center piece of candy around my neck . Well, some really nice person came by offering me a shocktart which I of course graciously ate. Unfortunately I had never tasted such a disgusting shocktart in my entire life and certainly not one with such a crunchy texture. Later that night my friend looked at me and said, "What happened to your mushroom?!" I frantically looked around allover the ground for it, in the area I was sitting in for, oh say, the duration of my roll, gasped and said, "OH! That's why that shocktart was so crunchy!" Apparantly the large clay mushroom was consumed with the shocktart.
 
i get a lot more strange ideas when i'm e-tarded, like the first few hours after i come down.

"what if you put PAM on an open wound?"

"cardboard bread! you could make it out of mashed up cardboard and water and yeast. dont you think it would work?"

"raping yaks? raping yacks!!!"

"will you be my friend and help me attack little wolves?"

there are many more..
this usally happens when i take speedy pills, and after the mdma wears off, i'm like, sleep deprived, my brain is retarded, and i'm also like, tweaking, so it makes all these messed up thoughts circulate around in my brain..
does this happen to a lot of other people? it seems to happen to me and my friends quite often.. like, 1/5 times i roll.8o
 
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