Official Compendium of E-tard moments and quotes

"HI! My name is ******. nice to meet you :) !!"

"...we know.. umm you live with me and ive been your best friend for 2 years now"

haha oh god... FUN as HELL night.
 
Ha, I have so many... One good one I said the last time I rolled was: "My toes feel utterly delicious."
 
to a girl holding a water bottle with a glowstick in it:

"wow, that's a really nice dollhouse you've got there."

"huh?"

the look of confusion on his face when he realized that it wasn't, in fact, anything that even resembled a dollhouse was priceless.
 
from a random guy at a fetival:
"Dude, i love you sooooo much ma-, wait your not james! Fuckit, i love you anyway man" *Hugs*

"I bet we could crawl all the way over to the next stage" - an intense 200m crawl ensues
 
great stuff, keep em coming!

i must have heard/said many things like that, but sadly it all went the usual way:
"what were we just talking about?"
"i have no fucking idea, but it's great!"
 
Paul Van Dyk was dropping some bomb shit and my mate turns to me and says "You know, there HAS to be a better way to transport oil apart from oil tankers!" and then kept dancing.

Bahahah good times.

That's too awesome. I really love it when people say absolutely random things.

This one time me and my cousin just got home and we were still rolling really hard. We were both just sitting on my bed listening to music and talking--he had his eyes closed the entire time. After he finished telling me something, he goes:

"I'm going buy this"

I'm like:

"What are you talking about?"

Then he opens his eyes and with the most puzzled look on his face he says:

"What the fuck? I thought we were in Best Buy"
 
mate- "eh, there's blood in my mouth.. wait what if my stomach is bleeding?! you're going to have to drive me to the hospital, start sobering up, what if i die now, i haven't even written a will! i'll write one on my phone and you can be the witness.."

me- "you know we've been eating strawberry ice-pops don't you?"

mate- "eh.. oh. buy the blue ones next time"
 
was still feeling the pills but had few cones by that time. go to put some pies in the oven. look at the dials, fiddle with them, then figure it out.

"rinse cycle,water temp? wait.... this is the dishwasher"

:)
 
one night at a club out of nowhere my mate says

Him - "have we been here the whole time?"
Me - "Whole time of what?"
Him - "whole time since we got here?"
Me - "well yeah i think so"
Him - "outrageous"
 
My friend: "Dude, I just realized something... I think I have a crush on you."

Me: "I have that effect on people."

Haha. How conceited...
 
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My first time, after my friend had told me that E was like having a 5 hour orgasm:

"This isn't like an orgasm at all! It's like winning the lottery...EVERY SECOND! I just won again! Woo!"
 
FYI - with stuff collected from the pruning process, we just doubled this thread full'o'funnies.
 
sort of offtopic:
me first time on shrooms (every 2-6 minutes):
"Were we just talking right now or did I just thought we were"
That went on for around 2 hours. My friend was assuring me I'm constantly talking, but I just couldn't be sure till I asked someone :D
 
Well, by far one of the most memorable e-tard moment was not my own, but one I am so happy I was part of.

Myself and a few friends were doing our usual weekend club routine, but decided to make the trek to some town in the middle of nowhere that was hosting their first "rave" at an art cafe. My girlfriend spotted some kid from her high school, there all by himself, varsity band letter jacket and dress pants, who kept following us around because he obviously knew nobody there or what the night held for him. He told us how he had never done any drugs, but heard about ecstasy and really wanted to try it, along with the usual fears/weird questions most of us have at the beginning of it all.

We got this kid a tab nobody else there had taken that night, not so much as a joke, but because it was easy/cheap to obtain, and we figured we would make a few bucks off somebody who wouldn't know any better. The kid took it, and we didn't see him for about an hour our so, as we had gone outside to smoke/socialize. We walk back in, and this kid is glued to a strobe light, pupils proper fucked, with a look of sheer amazement and awe for this light. So we were happy he was enjoying himself, but it looked like the usual "Im so fucked right now, all I wanna do is stare at this light for the rest of the night" kind of experience. Ten minutes later the kid is shirtless, sprinting from side to side of this building with the most concentrated look on his face screaming "LOVEEEEE!" at the top of his lungs....this ensued for two hours. No matter how much we told him to down some water, or hang back for a few, he would NOT STOP SPRINTING! After all this stopped, he would not stop running everywhere he went, he would run in place when he talked to people, and he ended up being a sort of makeshift dj-go for guy at some point.

Needless to say...he is now known as "The Runner"
 
nice guys finish last. thats what i always think about. i mean, every chicks mom likes me. i am nice, smart, honest...you get the point...but chicks always dig the assholes. sometimes i think about going asshole, but then i remember i have the pride of knowing that, on a realistic level, i am worth something to soem people. later on in life, when all these chicks start to settle down, they are gonna look back and be pissed they didnt see me for who i really am.

thats usually brought on by couples going into the bedroom, and i am still on the sofa listening to music. ah well, maybe i should hook up with their moms. this will take some pondering

dude im exactly the same. the dickheads get all the excitement now, we get it l8er, ooooooohoohoo isn't that exiting.

hmmm i told my best mate that i kissed his girlfriend , my purpose for this was because i thought it would bring us closer together as brothers as we've disconnected recently. he was on pills aswell and wasn't mad with me either, it happened a year ago but meh...things can grow.
 
MY very first time rolling.
Half a blue bulll..
FUCKED me up..
It was sad.
this chick Camille was smoking a cigarette on the bed by me.
I saw the cherry and I was like 'Oh my GOD! Camille, move it! MOVE THE DAMN CIGARETTE!'
I then realized she was flicking the cig at me..

I was rolling so hard I didn't give a fuck...
Then my second time rolling, a yellow tipped molly.
I was in the car, driving to a rave with my sister, her two friends and my two friends.
My bestfriend was like 'Marissa! Where are we going again?' she was rolling balls..
Like it was scary how hard she was rolling, haha.
I was like 'I'm pretty sure we're going to the house to go get Bob!'
I don't even know, i was rolling..
dnt judge
haha

:D
 
first time i did it especially...i didn't shut up the whole time. i mean towards the end it got pretty stupid...like we're locked in vicious lovely conversation about how much we lurve eachother and then i forget what i'm talking about. we kept saying things like "god i wish we could hang out forever" and "i can't believe we didn't know eachother before this! how did we let that happen?!
 
'why is your mum over there hoovering in a night dress'
'what are you on about mate'
'oh sorry'
 
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