Okay if you can help me out based on the OP, then skip the bull below and help me out. But I'm gonna explain my situation for the hell of it, and b/c I'm a little drunk and bored.
I think most people wouldn't even notice pupils
unless they were horrendously out of size or the person themselves had drug knowledge and were looking for such a thing. Honestly, aside from when you might be high....
when have you ever even considered looking at someone else's pupils and trying to guess how 'normal' their eyes were at the time?
HOMELESS to BDD.....maybe to DC?
It's not something I have "considered," it's just obvious. When I see someone who has pupils that cover the whole iris, it is obvious that they're on drugs. I usually think of shrooms, acid, or mdma. When someone has little dots for pupils, it is obvious to me that they are on opiates of methamphetamine.
Look at this person's eyes
or these
My pupils can look just like these for most of the day because I'm on methadone, a very long-acting opiod. My pupils are very noticable because my eyes are such a light color. They are green with a tiny blue ring around the iris that further accentuates my pupils when they are constricted. People aren't going to have to try to notice; they'll just look at everyone else's eyes when they talk...then when they meet me and make eye contact, I'll look out of the ordinary because my pupils will be so freaking small. People like to have a short simple conversation with someone they are trying to welcome, and they will usually make eye contact for at least a solid minute total during this intro conversation. I will be meeting upper and middle-upper class folks who will be sober, attentive, and nice...they will be impressed by me in general but will also be looking for anything out-of-the-ordinary. If I don't do something about this pupil situation, they will notice them. Furthermore, on methadone my pupils don't really adjust in the darkness (don't get larger like normal eyes). They stay the same tiny size.
I am not being paranoid. I'm not going to my family reunion, I'm going to my girlfriend's. There will be many middle aged people with good eyesight, who have probably done a good many drugs in their day. They know the tell-tale signs of drug use. They know that a permanent pupil size, whether big or small, means that the person is on drugs. The thing is, they don't do drugs now, and they won't want my girlfriend to be with a bad influence (we've been together for over two years, this is more than a fling).
I've shown up to many family events on opiates. I know how to "act normal" and please the crowd. I know how to complement the women I meet and talk sports with the men, all the while subtly bragging about my good grades and future career. But permanently tiny little dot pupils (I may not have made it clear how tiny they can get)...DO NOT WANT! I mean what are they going to do right, call my mom? No, but they'll tell my girlfriend's mother, who will actually wear her glasses one day and make a move to examine my eyes in-depth...then she might bitch to my girfriend, which leads to problems I don't need. Also, want to be truly accepted by these people, b/c I love the shit out of my girl and gonna marry her when I get out of grad school.
Any HELP is appreciated, thanks! Maybe this would be better for DC b/c most people come to BDD to ask/answer simple problems about drug use, not something strange like this.
The 5-HTP suggestion is great, I will definitely read into it. Has anyone else had experience with using 5-HTP to get rid of pinpoint pupils, or can anyone else comment that the stuff dilates pupils? The good thing is that I have time on my side. I have a couple months to find and test a remedy for small pupils.