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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Letter to Your Disease/Addiction

Dear Oxy,
Im finally realising that I can't be with you anymore, Im chosing my family over you. Its just too bad it took me 3 years to see the light. You know at first it was true love, or what I thought was true love. Little did I know your the most sneeky, evil, most fucked up bitch I ever met in my life. It was cool hanging out with your other friends at first (vicodens, narcos, perks) but when I met you, you really blew them out of the water. I know its not all your fault, you could mean soo much to someone who REALLY needs you, but the truth is I did'nt. I just WANTED you. So im as much to blame as you are, but we need to go our own ways already. I've spent too much time and energy and also money on you, thinks that I could have, NO, should have spent on my own family and kids. Like this christmas, I was too concerned about not having enough of you to even wanna spend time with my family and I hate you for that. I will never forgive you for doing this to me, and turning me into some kind of monster.
I've gone blind to the fact that my life was better without you, even if it was harder. When I was down you picked me up, and lately it seems, im always down. So as usuall I turn to you and you always take me in your warm embrace. Oh how I love your embrace, but as its been said "Nothing Lasts Forever..." Truer words have never been spoken. Writing this brings up a song that we used to listen to together alot, Marlyn Manson's Tainted Love, and I see my love for you is tainted. Now I Run From You, Its what I need. Its what my family needs, so my "Love" we need to go our seperate ways. I have no doubt you will always be on my mind, but Its over. Im spent....
Sincerly, Travis
 
Dear opiates,
I've used many different drugs in my life and had many good times. I've tried coc, x, lsd, shrooms, and weed. The first time we met i fell in love with you. I wanted to be with you always at school at work at home everywhere i was you could make me feel better be better so i thought... You made me feel so good inside feel like i could do anything. The whole time you were stealing from me and getting deep inside my soul numbing me from reality. I ended up hooked on you obsessed with you always wanting you needing you with me. Always keeping me broke and lonley untill i got the courage to finally say goodbye, But by then it was too late i realized i could'nt just walk away. I had to crawl through your disgusting sickness and walk out of your frozen hell. I came out and i realized you were the worst thing that ever happened to me and you would always be a part of my soul. Now everyday is a battle fighting to stay away from you, Everyday i can feel you pulling at my soul with your beautifull disgusting fiendish ways... You are my demon on my shoulder that will never go away. I have to relearn life now, I have to fight a war everyday. I know that with GOD i can keep you away. You are the most evil thing i've ever met and i will never be with you again and with the power of GOD i will never fall into your arms because i am good enough, I am strong enough, I am everything i want to be and you cant tell i am not... Why is that? Because GOD told me so! I dont need anything but me and GOD to wake up and live my life. I let you go and now i'm flying through the clouds healthy happy and on my way to becoming somebody. I am the man i was meant to be now and i'll never look back. I'm Gods child and his instrument and he has made me strong and fine tuned. I am too strong, Too good, Too intelligent to be with you now, Goodbye opiates you will never have me again...
NEVER AGAIN, Michael
 
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dear spike,
i can hardly remember a time when you weren't in my life. it seems like forever and like i will forever turn to you, chasing the bliss you revealed to me our first time together. there is no way to relive our "first time" and now i only feel disgust for you, for how i am w/ you.
i got the fuck away from you more than a month ago but still i think about you. just today you kept calling me, trying to get me to say, "fuck it, just one time won't hurt." but it does hurt and one day, given the chance, you will kill me. i can't let that happen. i don't want you. i don't want anyone to know i didn't, i couldn't, stay away from you. i can't hate you, probably cuz i'm dumber than a fuckin rock, but i don't like you or how i feel around you. part of me will miss you but not enough to let you kill me so go on, go away, get outta my dreams and my nightmares, just erase me from your memory and set me free...
-izzy
 
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dear smack,
you make me wish brannon and i were the last people left on earth sometimes.
 
Dear drugs:
So I can't feel you anywhere as well anymore because of the meds I take. And I'm taking them forever. Which means no hallucinogens which are my favorites. Well, I MISS YOU. I miss you a lot. But be sure that I'll continue to use you in hopes that I'll feel med-free high again. I do think about you sometimes. A lot. The only thing I can say is about my meds on a drug: fuck! thanks for taking away the motor mouth. me talking about all sorts of dumb shit for hours while feeling like it's important as what is stupid. and whatnot. Other than that, I love you I love you I love you.
And obviously, I miss you.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
 
footscrazy- that was one of the most incredible things ive ever read. So honest and so truthful...seriously thank you for giving me the joy of reading that during my nightly insonmia, hah.

also thanks for your response to my thread about my mdma abuse. Some of the people were being complete fuckwads (only thing i could think of) and you were so genuine about it. I hope the absolute best for you.
 
^ Thanks so much, that really means a lot to me <3

I have always wanted to write something, I don't know, about my experiences etc, but I'm usually too scared to get anything down on paper. So it's good to know that I'm not just spilling absolute crap <3<3
 
Dear drugs,

Kiss my rear. I'm going to break up with you again. This time i have support. This time i have faith. This time i got a couple weapons. You're dark side outweighed the good and I'm sick of being brought to my knees. It's time I flush you down the pooper for good. Goodbye, Plop.
 
xxkcxx said:
footscrazy, do you journal or do any creative writing?
Click to expand...

No I don't, I really want to keep a journal, just so I don't forget shit, but I never get around to it...it's a goal of mine to start though.
 
yeah i did this i rehab last year:

dear dope,
When I first met you years ago, you were truly the single greatest thing that had ever happened to me. I fell in love with you. You were someone to lean on, the only person who could bring me back up whenever I was down. It must not have been true love though because soon enough our relationship began to crumble. You had me sticking needles in my arms everyday at the age of 15. At 16, I had to get away with you for a little, so I did 5 months in rehab. You still couldn't stay away from me though, could you? You crept in my dreams nightly, started hanging out with all my friends. It was only a matter of time before you caught my eye again, had me full of lust chasing after you again. You were sneaky yet again though, filling me of delusions that everything was all right. You led me away from my friends, my family. You convinced me to sell everything I've ever worked for. You took away my home and replaced it with the streets of the worst part of the city. Once I finally realized you've never done anything for me, I realized I fucking hate you, you're a piece of shit, and I want absolutely nothing to do with you. Don't come over, don't call, because for once, I won't answer.

one love.
 
dear ketamine. one day soon. you will be gone.

and for the first time in my life.

i cannot fucking wait.


because i asked someone for help.

and they helped me.

for the first time in my fucking life. someone helped me.



you will not drag me into oblivion and you will never win. because i asked for help. and someone helped me.

and now i am going to learn how to help myself.


so fuck you.
 
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addictive personality type ,

I've made away with my own name. Sorry you didn't get to stay for too long this time. We could have done a shit ton more damage together. aeons of it :\

dance with me my sweetly enigmatic marionette as we waltz through each others' strings. milk my devil's pleasures while i drown in God's honey. your claws gasp sprinting to my desires. they inhale nothing but hot air trying to latch onto my light. i twisted my own horn's root and broke free of your mistakenly desired "wisdom".

Things have changed since last we spoke. My arms and legs move of my own free will. Not that of your accord anymore. I have apprehensive appreciation for everything you taught me. I'm sorry though that I thought I had to learn it to punish myself.

Never again shall we lust myself into a lost peaceful sea of induced amnesia. My soul will wither no longer bathing in your darkness. No longer shall we share a common person.

This is my 2 weeks, right now. This is the end of your control. You don't exist any more. I am free to live, love, laugh, cry and enjoy why I'm here. Good bye. I said good day!

Your pal,
Tea Rag
 
bagochina said:
Not a letter but I remember seeing this on the wall in some rehab years ago and it kinda struck a chord with me.

Little Miss Heroin

So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass
LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash,
and someone, pretending to be a true friend,
said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."

Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you of how it will be.

For I will seduce you and make you my slave,
I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves.
You think you could never become a disgrace,
and end up addicted to Poppy seed waste.

So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon,
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
And once I've entered deep down in your veins,
The craving will nearly drive you insane.

You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck.
You'll turn into something vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm,
and feel contentment when I'm in your arms.

The day, when you realize the monster you've grown,
you'll solemnly swear to leave me alone.
If you think you've got that mystical knack,
then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.

The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots.
The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot.
The hot chills and cold sweats, withdrawal pains,
can only be saved by my little white grains.

There's no other way, and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pushers and then,
you'll welcome me back to your arms once again.

And you will return just as I foretold!
I know that you'll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart.
And you will be mine until, "Death Do Us Part"
Click to expand...

ok the weirdest thing. i read this exact poem in a drug book 4 years ago, apparently the guy that wrote it was found dead with the poem on his wall, needle still in his arm. dont know if thats true or not. while i was reading all these amazing letters i was thinking about that poem and i cant believe its on here.
 
Dear Lorry (Lortab),

We had quite the time, didn't we? When I first met you, we had so much fun. With you, I could stay up all night with the (soon to be ex) husband, play games and talk. You took away the pain in my back. You made me feel better. But soon, I began to love you more than anything. From one of you here and there, to 5 or 6 of your 10 mg selves. I became your slave. Anything to have you.

I would watch for the mailman to bring you for the husband and I always made sure he was asleep when you arrived. My hands shaking with excitement just to put you in my body and feel "normal" again.

But, was I normal? No. I was a bitch. A stealing, lying, selfish bitch. Now, granted, the husband was never the greatest of men. His words hurt me and tore me down worse than anything ever could. You helped me escape it. Escape it by sleeping, getting sick from taking too many of you, and being in an overall fog. I hated myself for loving you so much, so I'd take even more of you to escape that.

Well, my so called friend, I am through with you. I was able to gain the strength to leave the asshole husband and I am leaving you as well. The two things in my life that screwed me up can stay together and rot forever in hellish eternity. He still has you. You have him. And I am away from you both.

I'm glad you are slowly getting out of my body and mind. I will not allow you to suck any more of my life out of me. Your sisters Oxy, Cokie, Fenty and Perky took the life of my mother. She loved you too. So much that I was raised by you and your damn family. I've had enough.

The party's over. Our friendship is over. You no longer have me as your slave. I may crave you for the rest of my life, but I refuse to give in to your temptation any more.

As the song Thanks for the Memories by Fall Out Boy say, "Thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so great."

I have better friends who are PEOPLE! And they make me feel a lot better than you ever did!

Fuck you very much.

ADDGrrl
 
Dear addiction,

Fuck you and thank you at the same time. You have led me to experience extreme pain and extreme highs. I have led quite an extreme life, which I am both resentful and grateful for at the same time. If it wasn't for you, though, I wouldn't have found what I have now; a chance to partake on the amazing journey known as life, with a deeper understanding, knowledge of what is important to me and to be myself.

Yours Sincerely
Oli P
 
Dear Molly,

It's been 4 months since we last met, and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of you. Sometimes it's lust, sometimes it's regret, but your memory just won't seem to fade from my consciousness. You taught me so many things and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for you. You made me realize it's ok to be social around people I don't know, to dance like no one's watching, to know that inner peace is actually possible. I will never forget the things you taught me, but it is now time for me to practice this knowledge without your assistance. I know if I see you just one more time, you will just come back into my life with a vengeance. I can't risk relying on you anymore - the guilt is too much to bear each time I use you as a crutch. You don't even treat me the same way you did 4 years ago, yet for some reason, I still can't seem to get enough of you. I've loved many of your likeness, but my passion for you runs deeper than any other. I think that's because you filled me with exactly what was always missing in my life - a sense of belonging, a sense of peace, confidence. I don't know if I will ever find something to replace the holes you've left in my life, but we really just can't be friends anymore.
Thank you, but I hate you.
 
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