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Thread: Dating a transman

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    Transguy Buck Angel 
    #26

    (Work-safe link before U "enter.") http://buckangelentertainment.com/

    When I first saw him (he refers to himself as a man with a clit or pussy), I thought it would be fun to date him. He likes guys and makes porn with them. Not sure if he dates girls.

    I'm bi-post-op TS and would love to date a pretty pre-op TS. However, the pretty ones I know want to have the surgery.
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    #27
    Bluelighter zombiesarepeaceful's Avatar
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    Being a transman myself....I always wondered this. Where you from dude? I'm from Ohio.

    My ex got caught up in what she was fucking rather than who she was with...I would absolutely date another transman and see him as a man...cause really, we are. Fuck the labels. I like a person for who they are. Not what they have. End of story.
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    #28
    Bluelight Crew @lterEgo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweet P View Post
    not all trans-people lack confidence. A lot are very open and proud. Now that I'm on hormone replacement therapy, I'm actually pretty happy with my body
    i hear you, and i will be the first to admit my thoughts on this subject are not as evolved as they should be. i will say though that i'd have a hard time dating anyone who was excessively into cosmetic surgery. that level of obsession with perfecting the body just makes me uncomfortable. it's almost like waging war against yourself. and sure, at the end of it all maybe you'll feel "pretty happy" with the results, but ultimately you've changed your looks, your personality, your moods... how can anyone identify the real YOU amongst all of those alterations?

    that's not to say i'm ruling this out completely. if i made a connection with some totally hot don juan of a new guy and later found out he was trans, i wouldn't bail just because of that. then again, i'm not entirely straight. i would guess most legitimate straight girls would feel more like this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Z Y G G Y View Post
    I'd do it if they were totally masculine with a good size penis. I'm a totally straight female
    let's be honest about phalloplasty. you can't just make a dick out of nothing. i think MTFs are positioned much better when it comes to passable genitalia. not to be crude, but removing some bits and making a hole seems a lot easier than constructing a functional penis. a FTM who pursues bottom surgery is either going to be working with a small approximation made from the clitoris or some kind of prosthetic setup, neither of which would appeal to the average straight woman.

    it all just strikes me as very confusing and very extreme
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    #29
    Bluelighter Sweet P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by @lterEgo View Post
    i will say though that i'd have a hard time dating anyone who was excessively into cosmetic surgery. that level of obsession with perfecting the body just makes me uncomfortable.
    It's not about wanting the perfect body. It's about wanting the body that you feel you should have been born with. Big difference. I didn't start my hormone treatment wanting to become the prettiest girl in town - I just wanted to look like a girl. I wanted my outer gender to match my inner gender identity. And a lot of transpeople actually don't get cosmetic surgery. Many, like myself, are happy enough taking hormone tablets or injections. My breasts and my female features weren't created through any kind of surgery... just the hormones.
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    #30
    Bluelighter zombiesarepeaceful's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweet P View Post
    It's not about wanting the perfect body. It's about wanting the body that you feel you should have been born with.
    ^Word.
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    #31
    Bluelighter augustaB's Avatar
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    let's be honest about phalloplasty. you can't just make a dick out of nothing. i think MTFs are positioned much better when it comes to passable genitalia. not to be crude, but removing some bits and making a hole seems a lot easier than constructing a functional penis. a FTM who pursues bottom surgery is either going to be working with a small approximation made from the clitoris or some kind of prosthetic setup, neither of which would appeal to the average straight woman.
    I know at least three transmen who've had phallo. All I can say is that they are happy with the results and having a bulge in their pants. It's not a straightforward operation but I think that it's reasonable to expect that techniques will greatly improve within the next 10 years.

    In fact I'm convinced that within 30 years we will probably be able to transition from one gender to the other AND be fertile in the preferred gender.
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    #32
    Bluelighter ONCOR's Avatar
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    im a bisexual transman and would date a transman, its about chemistry not sexual organs.

    To the above post, some Tboi's enlarged clitoris can get an erection because T induces a higher libido, I have heard some transmen say they can get "hardons". I guess it depends on the amount of T they take and stuff.....Im not 100% though **shrugs**
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    #33
    Bluelighter Sweet P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ONCOR View Post
    its about chemistry not sexual organs.
    Well said. I'm bisexual too. If I find someone attractive, their sex/gender is irrelevant to me.

    I like them for who they are - not what's between their legs.
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    #34
    Bluelighter augustaB's Avatar
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    I like them for who they are, but I do like the bit between their legs too.
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    #35
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    So, I searched "transman" on google and ended up here, made an account, and now I'm here. I myself am a transman and if you have any questions or are interested in talking more...I will be around exploring this site.
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    #36
    I'm a mostly straight bio female and I'm currently in a sexual relationship with a straight pre-op FTM transguy. We're not together (we were for a short period of time), but we're very close and sexually involved. Our friendship/relationship is very complicated, but it has NOTHING to do with his being trans. In fact at the moment, I want to engage in a romantic relationship more than he does.

    Anyways, that's irrelevant..

    I've been good friends for three years. I met him before his transition while he was still female (identified as lesbian female then) and being the sexually confused teenage girl that I was, I came to like him as he did me, but we never engaged in anything sexual. I had a very intense emotional connection with him that I never really let go of. I felt pretty weird about the whole thing because I mostly am not attracted to females. Anyways, we dropped that eventually, and have been good friends since.

    He started taking testosterone over a year ago and has gained a much more masculine appearance and impression. Regardless of his physical transition, I was always aware of how emotionally close I was with him. Since I had dropped it long ago, I never expected to revisit that part of our relationship. Even after starting to look more and more like a bio guy, interest still hadn't returned to me.

    I honestly don't really know what happened, but this year we engaged in a friends-with-benefits type thing. For the longest time, I thought I had it confirmed that I'd never truly be sexually interested in a transguy because of the whole genitalia dilemma. As much as I was conscious of the fact that I had strong feelings for this person one time or another, I never considered sex with him. It either didn't occur to me or the idea was somewhat awkward because it didn't align with my own presumed sexuality.

    Until I actually tried it.

    I can honestly say it's the best sex I've ever had, but this has to do with his person and our chemistry and not because of his transition. I can never forget the sex we had.

    I can't forget him for the person he is in general. I feel very comfortable and safe with him. I honestly do love him in whatever way it is. Although we've agreed we can't really ever be together for whatever personal reasons we have, I can say that I always want him to be in my life. I'm sure throughout the years, we'll be revisiting our "old ways" for whatever occasion or another. Maybe one day we'll cut the BS and actually be together when we're old and gray. Maybe not.

    Our problem is we like each other at different times. It's not even that. I was interested in someone else when he was interested in me (yet we were having sex); he's now interested in another girl while I'm now beating myself up about ruining the chance I had (yet we just had sex the past couple days when we weren't supposed to). There was a month of celibacy before this happened, of course, because he wanted to end the 'benefits' and we both agreed it was for the better.

    In the past month I realized I've grown really attached to him and missed him, fearing that our friendship had fallen apart as well. Well, after a few conversations about it, good quality hang out time, and some crying, I accepted that we were best as just friends and stopped pursuing anything else. Out of no where last weekend, we went back to our old ways, except this time without the promise of consistency. So, now, I don't know what to think.. he says we shouldn't do it anymore, he likes someone else, he doesn't want me to get too attached, yada yada.. I don't get it. It's so funny because these were the same things I was telling him before.

    Oh well. I didn't mean to write all of that, but I guess I just really needed to vent. It has nothing to do with the topic at hand, my apologies, but I have told no one else about this. Not a soul. Anonymity of the internet can be a useful channel I guess.

    But to answer the original question, yes, I'd date a transman.
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    #37
    Quote Originally Posted by GoddessLSD-XTC View Post
    He likes guys and makes porn with them. Not sure if he dates girls.

    I'm bi-post-op TS and would love to date a pretty pre-op TS. However, the pretty ones I know want to have the surgery.
    I've read interviews where Buck Angel says how he's bisexual and likes women, he's married to a woman.

    Personally as a gay man I would not date or sleep with a trans"man", no matter how hot he/she is.

    Just because they were born women and have had their tits removed, had cosmetic surgery, and have taken hormones and want to pretend that they are a man, this does not make them actually men or male at all both physically and biologically.

    I prefer actual men. Men who were never born female that have actual penises and male sex organs. I do not want to be with a sexual partner that does not have a penis at all or a vagina that is surgically modified to horribly pass as a micro penis. I don't want to have sex with someone who uses a dildo instead of having an actual penis that they were born with that works like an actual penis does and can get hard and eventually ejaculate.

    I've met TG/TS people who want to claim that they were always the opposite gender or sex of the one that they were born and it's easy to tell if someone is a tranny.

    There are transmen who get angry when they are barred from all male spaces or events that are for actual cisgender or biological men. I do not get mad when as a man I can't go into spaces that are for cis/biological women only, or to events that are for cisgender/bioloigcal women only.

    Whether you call it bigtory or not, whether you say the sky is red when it is blue or not mostly all gay cis men (cisgendered or biologically male men who are not born female and are not trans) will never be sexually attracted to a person with a vagina or a constructed artificial penis. Not all bisexual men are attracted to Transmen and Transwomen either.

    No males on the planet get upset because men or women have sexual desires that exclude them for some reason (especially genitals -- the locus of sex for 90% of people), except "transmen" who call human rights violation when a gay man is not attracted to them BECAUSE of their OP (Original Plumbing -- Buck Angel has not liberated transmen but fetishized the transmale vagina to a group of kink seeking gay/bi men).

    Almost all gay men enjoy penises and genital sex. Period. Fact of life. Get over it. It is this politicizing of genitals that ironically makes trans men seem like they hate themselves and are ashamed of who they are. Be trans -- be different -- be open and honest and find like minded people. Trans men who want men will have to find ways to find those bi men who are into them. Simple. You cannot PC whip anyone into sexual desire when it simply does not exist. That is what homosexual liberation is about. We are not pretending we are not sexually aroused by women and vaginas. We are NOT. Why make this a bad thing?

    A man who loses his penis (to disease or accident or castration) is NOT the same as any transman. The man without the penis has nothing there but a scar. The transman has a vagina there! Or a modified one. Not the same thing at all. I've heard that said by a number of transmen and it is illogical and weird to make such a comparison. BTW, it would be interesting to hear from transmen who like women and who date hetero women to get an accurate comparison with trans men and gay men. Do these women just laugh and ignore the presence of the vagina? Do they get annoyed or frustrated when the Transman uses a dildo instead of a real penis? They like penises too. Any comparisons between the groups?
    Last edited by DrunkardsDream; 23-11-2010 at 23:15.
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    #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrunkardsDream View Post
    I've read interviews where Buck Angel says how he's bisexual and likes women, he's married to a woman.

    Personally as a gay man I would not date or sleep with a trans"man", no matter how hot he/she is.

    Just because they were born women and have had their tits removed, had cosmetic surgery, and have taken hormones and want to pretend that they are a man, this does not make them actually men or male at all both physically and biologically.

    I prefer actual men. Men who were never born female that have actual penises and male sex organs. I do not want to be with a sexual partner that does not have a penis at all or a vagina that is surgically modified to horribly pass as a micro penis. I don't want to have sex with someone who uses a dildo instead of having an actual penis that they were born with that works like an actual penis does and can get hard and eventually ejaculate.

    I've met TG/TS people who want to claim that they were always the opposite gender or sex of the one that they were born and it's easy to tell if someone is a tranny.

    There are transmen who get angry when they are barred from all male spaces or events that are for actual cisgender or biological men. I do not get mad when as a man I can't go into spaces that are for cis/biological women only, or to events that are for cisgender/bioloigcal women only.

    Whether you call it bigtory or not, whether you say the sky is red when it is blue or not mostly all gay cis men (cisgendered or biologically male men who are not born female and are not trans) will never be sexually attracted to a person with a vagina or a constructed artificial penis. Not all bisexual men are attracted to Transmen and Transwomen either.

    No males on the planet get upset because men or women have sexual desires that exclude them for some reason (especially genitals -- the locus of sex for 90% of people), except "transmen" who call human rights violation when a gay man is not attracted to them BECAUSE of their OP (Original Plumbing -- Buck Angel has not liberated transmen but fetishized the transmale vagina to a group of kink seeking gay/bi men).

    Almost all gay men enjoy penises and genital sex. Period. Fact of life. Get over it. It is this politicizing of genitals that ironically makes trans men seem like they hate themselves and are ashamed of who they are. Be trans -- be different -- be open and honest and find like minded people. Trans men who want men will have to find ways to find those bi men who are into them. Simple. You cannot PC whip anyone into sexual desire when it simply does not exist. That is what homosexual liberation is about. We are not pretending we are not sexually aroused by women and vaginas. We are NOT. Why make this a bad thing?

    A man who loses his penis (to disease or accident or castration) is NOT the same as any transman. The man without the penis has nothing there but a scar. The transman has a vagina there! Or a modified one. Not the same thing at all. I've heard that said by a number of transmen and it is illogical and weird to make such a comparison. BTW, it would be interesting to hear from transmen who like women and who date hetero women to get an accurate comparison with trans men and gay men. Do these women just laugh and ignore the presence of the vagina? Do they get annoyed or frustrated when the Transman uses a dildo instead of a real penis? They like penises too. Any comparisons between the groups?
    No one is angry that you don't want to sleep with them. I don't have an issue with a woman who won't date me because I'm trans, nor do I have an issue with gay guys who want to be with only biological guys. It makes complete sense, as people who are attracted to men are attracted to penis, I get that. You can't change who you're attracted to, and that is not bigotry at all.

    You saying that I'm pretending to be a man is offensive though. Biologically, yeah of course I'm not male. But I can assure you my gender is male. I wouldn't go through transition if I wasn't really a guy. Everyone around me can see it too. Before transition I was horribly depressed, doing poorly in school, using drugs. Now I'm much happier and actually care about my life, I did so well in school that I got accepted to Oxford and am studying there now. I could go on and on about this but it's pointless really, you'll either accept it or you won't.

    As for your question about hetero women, well it can't really be answered considering that not all straight women are the same. My last girlfriend though identified as straight and didn't have an issue with it. She liked me because she is attracted to guys and I look/act like a guy. Honestly I made more of an issue about me being trans than she did. I thought she secretly must have a problem with it, but she was really okay with it. We broke up when I left to study abroad though.
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    #39
    Bluelighter syymphonatic's Avatar
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    I definitely couldn't date (or even bang if it was out in the open) a transman. I'm very much a submissive girl in bed, and the submission is very much a mental thing, which gets hung up on the fact that said man didn't start off that way... I like big manly strong dominant guys, and while I'm sure there's many transmen out there that fit that description, I can't really wrap my head around it.

    I feel awful saying that though!! I've banged guys and girls alike, I am all for people who go through the very difficult process of assuming their intended gender, and I'd like to think of myself as very open-minded... but It just doesn't sit well with me to have sex with a man who isn't biologically male.
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    #40
    Quote Originally Posted by cheah View Post
    No one is angry that you don't want to sleep with them. I don't have an issue with a woman who won't date me because I'm trans, nor do I have an issue with gay guys who want to be with only biological guys. It makes complete sense, as people who are attracted to men are attracted to penis, I get that. You can't change who you're attracted to, and that is not bigotry at all.

    You saying that I'm pretending to be a man is offensive though. Biologically, yeah of course I'm not male. But I can assure you my gender is male. I wouldn't go through transition if I wasn't really a guy. Everyone around me can see it too. Before transition I was horribly depressed, doing poorly in school, using drugs. Now I'm much happier and actually care about my life, I did so well in school that I got accepted to Oxford and am studying there now. I could go on and on about this but it's pointless really, you'll either accept it or you won't.

    As for your question about hetero women, well it can't really be answered considering that not all straight women are the same. My last girlfriend though identified as straight and didn't have an issue with it. She liked me because she is attracted to guys and I look/act like a guy. Honestly I made more of an issue about me being trans than she did. I thought she secretly must have a problem with it, but she was really okay with it. We broke up when I left to study abroad though.
    Any transman is just as man as any biological man. Straight biological female confirming this.
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    #41
    Quote Originally Posted by RedGirll View Post
    Any transman is just as man as any biological man. Straight biological female confirming this.
    Here here!

    Oh, and for information's sake; I know personally that biowomen can have clitoral erections without use of T or anything...just working with what they have

    (Sorry for bumping an old thread, I couldn't resist)
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    #42
    l human rights violation when a gay man is not attracted to them BECAUSE of their OP (Original Plumbing -- Buck Angel has not liberated transmen but fetishized the transmale vagina to a group of kink seeking gay/bi men).
    [/QUOTE]

    thatís what i think too, same as men who became women, i can't image a straight guy being able to sleep with them, i think its mostly bi guys, who don't mind if its male or female.

    I can't imagine a straight woman being able to have sexual encounter with a women who has become a women.

    are there any strange woman who have dated one? or is it mostly bi female?
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    #43
    Ok, misnomer here. Most Female to Male transgendered people (90do not have bottom surgery because of the 10% that do, up to 80% suffer complications which can include the phallus falling off. Would you want to spent $100,000 with that kind of success rate??? Female to Males very much want to be completely male anatomically. The problem is the medical community has not come up with a procedure that is successful. So they get top surgery and deal with the rest. It's sad, there is a BIG market out there for this procedure and I only see it growing. But medicine spends money where they can get the most bang for the buck. Unfortunately, its not in FTM bottom surgery. And so the internal conflict continues. Unless you are lucky enough to find a woman who loves you not your gender or genetalia. And from what I am told, if you know how to use a prosthetic device, no one knows the difference.
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