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Thread: A piece I just wrote entitled "Goodbye Now"

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    A piece I just wrote entitled "Goodbye Now" 
    #1
    Bluelighter
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    Dec 2006
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    Northwest Iowa, USA
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    Hey there, haven't posted in awhile because of personal issues but enough of that and onto the real point of the post. While writing this song I put myself into the mindset of a person about to commit suicide and this was his note he left. Anyway, I just finished this piece so let me know what you think, what you like/don't like... tell me if it sucked even! I can take it, I've been writing all my life so it's not as if someone hasn't liked a piece of my work before.

    Take me back to the place where my dreams are made
    And all my bad thoughts go away and fade
    That place where if I do too much cocaine
    I'll just wake up again and be okay
    That place where last night becomes today
    Pretending nothings wrong but nothing that I say
    Will keep me from whats about to take place
    And in this moment with you is where I want to stay

    But I have to say goodbye now,
    I never wanted you to find out
    This life was too much for me, by myself

    And if I could say one last thing
    it'd be how much you meant to me
    But I can't do that, I must say goodbye today

    I hope you still think of me, now that I am gone
    When the sun rises and the night becomes the dawn
    Don't cry for me, For now I'll always be with you
    I never meant to hurt you or ever do you wrong
    And with you I leave the strength to stay strong
    And if you ever forget just sing to yourself this song
    And I'll come right back to you each and everytime
    But it saddens me now to have to say goodbye

    I have to say goodbye now,
    I never wanted you to find out
    This life was too much for me, by myself

    And if I could say one last thing
    it'd be how much you meant to me
    But I can't do that, I must say goodbye today
     

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    #2
    Bluelight Crew MynameisnotDeja's Avatar
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    Beautiful. Did you have a situation in mind about why this person wanted to kill themselves?
    I attempted to attempt (got stopped before I did it) suicide in the 12th grade. I wrote a letter to my family, this reminded me of it.

     

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    #3
    Bluelighter
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    Location
    Northwest Iowa, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by MynameisnotDeja View Post
    Beautiful. Did you have a situation in mind about why this person wanted to kill themselves?
    I attempted to attempt (got stopped before I did it) suicide in the 12th grade. I wrote a letter to my family, this reminded me of it.

    The main point that I was trying to get through to my audience was that this guy wasn’t all that different than you and I... he had friends, he was surrounded by loved ones, but still for some reason he felt alone in this world. I was also trying to show that even though he had felt this way, he was disguising it to everyone around him, and came off as a rather normal happy kid; which I’m trying to convey with the opening of the chorus:

    But I have to say goodbye now
    I never wanted you to find out
    This life was too much for me, by myself


    Not sure if I’m explaining what I wanted to get across with the song in the right light, but hopefully you get the picture. And thanks for the compliment, much appreciated I love when I'm able to connect with a person in the audience, someone listening, or in this case reading my music, really that's what music is all about IMO
     

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