Okay it seems like I'm gonna have to take back some of the things I said, I still maintain my opinion of NA though, it is bullshit.
It seems that I have indeed developed an abscess, the funny thing is the abscess is not in the same spot I was originally complaining about in the thread starter, this actually happened after this thread was started and this is my first abscess ever, how ironic is that? I've got friends that have been addicts for years and they never developed a single abscess, and they are some dirty motherfuckers. I think my abscess developed when I had the grand old inebriated idea of picking up and using my filled syringe after dropping it on my carpet. The vein within the area of abscess still looks plump and operational, so I take this as a good thing. And now for my crazy story of events:
I've had the displeasure of being afflicted by what seems to be a case of pneumonia for the last 5 days or so, if this has anything to do with my drug usage I'm not sure. Maybe it might have to do with the fact that heroin keeps me from feeling the Chicago cold, and I've kind of skipped on buying an actual coat this season opting to use my light jacket instead. Maybe it might be from using needles, as I hear a lot of what you shoot up ends up in your lungs. Does using H intravenously compromise the immune system?
Well anyways, it came to a point where my voice was gone and my breath was short, and I could not smoke a cigarette without the numbing effects of H as my lungs would straight up reject it. In a haze of drug-induced paranoia from having a 100$ a day habit for a couple days I got really paranoid that I was sick. I actually think it's not that uncommon for an H user to be paranoid about their health like this. So basically I end up in the emergency room complaining about my lungs and the abscess on my arm, with of course the added comment of "I'm scared I might have endocarditis!" at the front desk of the emergency room. By me saying that I actually managed to get some pretty prompt service, being called up before a lot of people that were there in the waiting room before me.
So they take me up back and measure my temperature and tell me that I don't even have a fever and I'll be alright. I fess up about my IV heroin usage. A doctor with a European accent comes by and basically talks to the nurse and says "I don't think he has endocarditist, he's just an asshole!". Well of course he didn't say the asshole part but that was what he pretty much meant. Then this guy starts saying things to me like "why do you do drugs? when are you gonna stop doing it? why do you do this to yourself? etc. etc. etc. So he's trying to make me feel guilty about what I've been doing, can't say I blame the guy though of course.
Eventually a Korean doctor comes in and takes a look at me. The one thing that pisses me off about my visit is that I really really wish they would've taken an X-ray of my lungs and examined if I had pneumonia and that sort of thing, I guess they didn't care much since I didn't have a fever, but let me tell you I was feeling sick as hell and I'm only just starting to get better. Still though I wish I could have gotten the pneumonia taken care of before the abscess, because being sick really really sucks, and I'm not fond of missing days of school either. The doc gives me a prescription for some anti-biotics for the abscess, or "cellulitis" as he likes to call it. The script is for a drug called Clindamycin, which works well for the abscess, but does absolutely nothing for my pneumonia. To top it off it has digestive side effects, and using any sort of narcotics has a good chance of making these side effects worse due to the constipating effect.
After I pick up my anti-biotic medication from walgreens I go home and I decide that I am in fact going to quit doing H. I hadn't used at all this day, so I sit around, and I finally get hit with the feeling of being dopesick and having pneumonia at the same time. As you can imagine, this is not a pleasant feeling, I vomit and I pretty much almost lose consciousness, I immediately proceed to intake 4mg sublingual subutex buprenorphine, which helped me out a bunch, but of course I'm still feeling sick and shitty, since I have pneumonia!
I lay in bed with the heat cranked up really high, and I'm sweating all over the place, yet I'm shivering and feeling really cold. Eventually my mom gives me a call and I tell her that I'm sick, so she comes to my apartment and picks me up to take care of me. Not only have I been able to quit doing H for a couple days, but cigarettes as well as being this sick makes me willing to do anything to make myself feel better more quickly.
So I've been laying in bed sick as hell for the last couple days, honestly I don't think withdrawling is helping me get better from pneumonia more quickly. I only used subutex for the first day or two, and I know it takes about 8 days or so to fully get passed the ill effects of quitting a heavy habit of H. So today I fucked up, I slipped. After 5 days of being totally clean and not even smoking cigarettes, I end up going back to doing H again. I'm sure as many of you know, there is no better way to complement that initial rush of H with a smooth refreshing cigarette. I really did feel like not smoking cigarettes was helping my lungs and my sickness heal more quickly, and I've been wanting to quit for a while. Let me tell you though that taking H has really really helped me with the shitty feelings of being sick with pneumonia. It takes away much of the chills and shivering (though not all) and lets me feel very comfortable and smug while without it I had trouble going to sleep and such. How nice it would be to sleep through pneumonia and wake up fully healed and feeling like a million bucks.
So yes I had a good run of soberness going and I slipped, but I don't see it as being that bad. As long as I don't do any tomorrow I don't really think I'll get dopesick at all. I shall go back to not smoking any cigarettes tomorrow as well. I can really see why they used to prescribe heroin for things like pneumonia back in the early part of the 20th century, it is truly extremely soothing for the condition. I can't help but think that withdrawling, even if it is past the intial 3 day hump, has something to do with making me feel more sick than I really am. I can definitely say that I have a decent amount of tolerance still left in my body and am not back at baseline yet, nor was I before I used H today. I have also definitely noticed in the past that weening off H is indeed effective, as long as there are gaps of days in between the gradually smaller amount being used. This is not something that a really heavy psychologically weakened addict could do without going overboard of course, good thing I am not that person. On the bright side my abscess seems to be starting to shrink and diminish so the Clindamycin is working, and the vein underneath it still has blood flowing through it. What is everyone's opinion of poking a hole in the abscess and draining the pus? bad idea?
Also I've read that epsom salt can be effective at helping to treat an abscess, anyone know anything of this? What if I inject a water solution of epsom salt into the abscess? haha just kidding that has bad idea written all over it.
PS: Does anyone have any tips on explaining an abscess to a family member without mentioning drug usage?