To be honest, I don't really buy that argument. Two of the people that did this to me were childhood friends, and the first boyfriend that left me dated me for two years and then developed a drug addiction through a truly bizarre circumstance, which is when he left me. These are not people that in any way would normally do such a thing, nor is there any way I could have picked up on anything subconsciously, because those "things" didn't exist when I started these relationships. And moreover, the changes that happened happened very suddenly. For instance, the best friend that ditched me had made some new friends during a year that I was away, and they were much "cooler" than I was, so when I got back, she decided I wasn't worth her time anymore (we were 13 years old...). I really don't think I subconsciously drew to her when I met her in preschool at the age of 4...
And besides, I have a friend with a background and problems very similar to mine, and she doesn't have this issue, even though she has interpersonal problems as bad as, if not worse with boys, than mine....
I'm hoping I'm done with angsting now (I sent him a somewhat angry message, and I figure that's the end...), but the fact still remains that my switch has been flipped, and there's no going back any time soon. Once my shit gets triggered, it doesn't stop for a long while... I've already had 3 migraines this week and I don't even know how many panic attacks... I've been in therapy for going on seven years now, and I'm only beginning to brush the surface... If shit like this didn't keep happening, it might be easier. I've pretty much resolved to stop making friends of any kind for a while. I get really suicidal when I'm alone, but I get more suicidal when people fuck me over like this. I've been munching xanax and zoning out online for the past several days just to get by, and I'm supposed to be working on my several hundred pages of course reading... I haven't even checked my work email...