Whew. I feel your plight. The story about jail, man, I can't even, but I've heard that basically same story from so many people who had to go through WD in jail. Its not humane, people need to realize that. They only care if its immediately life-threatening. Everything else is apparently apt punishment.
You may be aware I am in much the same boat as yourself in other ways, such as being dependent on pregabalin for 3 years and suboxone for 2. Thus I have a very hard time feeling like my old self if I choose to stop taking either of them. The process will take years to get over if I take the path of 'no more physiologically addictive substances'. As of now I am not mentally strong enough to bear it, my condition exacerbated by being only marginally healthy physically (having no colon and an ever-present autoimmune disorder take their toll after decades)
Really strange how you said the ring was going away but simply writing/thinking about it brought it back...what do they call that, psychosomatic?
ya man, i feel ya, we brothers. i knew you had some health issues too. health issues suck. was feeling good and not psychotic yesterday but was kind of manic, only like three hours sleep after two jobs. i don't ever sleep and work 50 hours a week. i feel different everyday. some good, some unimaginably irritable, some psychotic, some manic, some a combo, but i keep showing up. i don't know what people think, but i know i don't always act the same lol. its a roller coaster. my girl just saw a ufo got a video, but crappy. wtf man. shit is weirding me out. those suckers been abducting us, im gonna kill em lol. its prob in my head, it all feels so real, its confusing.
BD last time i tried to reduce gaba i reduced by a 100 mg from 900 a day. went a few weeks, was fine, dropped another hundred. destabilized for three months. even a a couple days suck. its been over two years every day. its literally driving me mad. this stuff has a horrendous withdrawal for me, not as bad as zyprexa, but pretty close. it all is pretty similar after a while once your brain gets shocked.
if we have a nuclear war anytime soon and i can't get my gaba im done. its kind of terrifying, but the thought of going off another drug while im going through what i am is just as terrifying. this pickle sucks. i just wish i could feel like a normal person. i used to play sports and be fine. now im retarded. this brain thing doesn't have that 'going away' vibe.
anyway, sorry, done talking about my issues, just dont have many outlets and been borderline psychotic for months (maybe years lol). sorry for the grumpiness. remaining unapologetic over the weirdness.
my broncos play tonight, hoping for a win after our first loss this season. never been into sports too much but been into football for the last ten years or so. something that i used to not get into.
need to start reading, learning more stuff again, playing music, getting new gear. most the time, its just get through the day mode. took the day off from booze yesterday, was gonna go on a break, but then had to drop six hundred bucks on my car. grr.
LB, if you are in town send me a pm. im not as weird as i am online i promise. my folks and in laws live right off A1A. plugged in for most types of shenanigans, etc. know some heads, got some doses, etc.
yall be good.