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⫸STICKY⫷ The Delphic Oracle- Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

Jammin, sorry to hear your health is slipping, despite all else take some time for you. I've been reading you posts and despite their size. I think your ideas are still coming across and you are still putting a different perspective on many ideas here. I may not always concur but your posts are worth my time to consider I appreciate the time you invest in us strangers.
 
Well said.

Thanks for letting us know jammin... Take care and keep thinking :) <3
 
You have my sincerities, as declining health is certainly a tough challenge, mentally and obviously physically.

<3 Stay Jammin
 
hey guys, thanks, appreciate the kindness. im ok, just battling demons, myself, something. fuckers been trying to get me for a while, not gonna let em. nobody tells me what to do lol.

my combo of late: booze, weed, meth (smoked), and kratom. its like a schizophrenia fourth of july baby. been able to stay off the meth for a few weeks, doesn't help lol. fireworks start going off but prob not healthy. write a song or two and figure out life all in the same night lol. talk about connecting dots.

used to be able to take a little zyprexa once or twice a month and it would slow me down. now it makes my right hand go numb and start twitching and get really weak. don't think i can tolerate APs anymore without detrimental effects. is what it is. learning to embrace the madness and find peace within myself in spite of whats happening in my mind.

yall be good. ill try and get sorted out and get back with ya with something substantial. have to take a break every once in a while from the weird shit.

wish i could stop thinking swilow. this thing just dont turn off.

thanks again guys.
 
Jammin do you think the negative effects of the zyprexa could be drug interactions with the other 'supplements' you have been combining?
The mono will clear up in time, but it is one that requires a lot of patience and rest. The other effects you have been feeling could be from the mono as well, such as increased depression, I know it can trigger all kinds of stuff.
Your remark about the buzzing in your ears when you talk about aliens is something I can relate to...hard to explain, but when I was writing my book, there were times I was touching on some interesting topics and would get the ring as I approached finishing the writing. One of the times I was talking about mirrors as a biofeedback device, one that we take for granted in our society of vanity, their full potential not often realized. That made my ears ring as I thought about feedback loops, like it literally created a resonance in my head of some sort. Another time was when I inserted a link to the crop circle from 2002 depicting the grey alien and the encoded disc of information, and got both a smell and ringing. Follow the nose I said during that time in my life. I was getting all kinds of spontaneous scents whenever I achieved a sort of meditation pattern in my brainwaves. I also would sometimes get the buzz then.
 
Man, that hurricane off the Florida, Georgia and South Carolina coast is affecting a lot of people I know. Close family is evacuating. Might have to fly out there myself if things need to be addressed. Hoping for the best.

Fuck man, shits surreal. stay safe, stay aware and be kind to each other out there.
 
Yeah, be wise my American friends...<3

Whatever else, the images of this storm are intense. Mother Nature is not to be denied.
 
God damn.

I just woke up (10:15 a.m.) and my entire body feels like water.

Why? Could it be from the gabapentin I took last night?
 
LOL. I used to love Gabapentin. But Pregabalin is so much better, I enjoyed that almost as much as opiates.

But I was told by a doctor Gabapentin is very dangerous to keep taking, by the way. Oh yea, it definitely leads to water retention, big time. Water weight can get sky high.
 
No, but when I was in emergency care for benzo withdrawal, the supervising doctor came and talked to me and said "Gabapentin is also very dangerous to take".

That's all he said, but it seems like it messes up the body pretty bad with all the water retention. I lost over a stone in water weight when I stopped after abusing it regularly for a while. But I guess you could look it up.
 
Did he mean it in the sense that gabapentin is bad, but not pregabalin? Their pharmacological profile is practically identical as far as I know (VDCC blockers), and as far as I remember that isn't that dangerous long-term. Definitely not as "dangerous" as benzos. I would take everything docs say with a grain of salt, because as sad as it is, they often don't know what they're talking about - at least around here :/

I'm just wondering because my understanding was that gabapentinoids were fairly safe to use for prolonged periods of time.
 
They're pretty much the same. I don't know, but presume he would have some basis for making a statement like that. It wasn't like he was trying to scare me off them or anything. He just mentioned it matter-of-factly.

But Pregabalin was even worse to come off than benzos for me. Seizure-city.
 
you dont know what weird is brah nix. lol

vortech, drugs aren't good for me. can't seem to stop. trying but that addiction has been rearing up its angry head. i use pretty sparingly. never more than a couple days in a row, bc i can't tolerate it. usually only every few weeks. meth isn't good for me, but gee golly it makes me feel somewhat normal for a few hours. thats priceless for me but my connect got paranoid so as of now its dried up lol. but its pretty infrequent and not the source of my problems. after two years of withdrawal of whatever, life must go on and haven't been able to put it all down, at least yet. would like to, but damn addiction sucks. i really hate it. mental health problems and addiction make it wayyy more complicated.

and yeah, gabapentin sucks. been on it since 2012. cant get off with the zyprexa thing as my nervous system is already destabilized. i wake up in withdrawal after about or five hours of sleep. take a couple to feel normal in the morning, and by 9 oclock im bugging. it depletes a lot of nutrients, biotin and magnesium come to mind, prob others. throws everything out of whack.

its worse than benzo withdrawal for me. benzo withdrawal was mostly over in a month for me, with some PAWS, after five years of heavy use. I don't discount that that helped destabilize my CNS. I did it in jail cold turkey. fun times. suboxone at the same time. never really been the same since. at one point, I was on my cot, but on the ceiling pissing myself wondering why gravity was upside down. yikes.

i had to go back to jail bc i messed up. was without gabapentin and zyprexa for a couple weeks, as the bros from the jail forgot to bring my meds to my new place. talk about cruel and unusual punishment. losing my mind all over again. nothing worse than being in a cell going completely mad.

if i was to go cold turkey, i would kill myself and/or go beyond mad. i hate this drug almost as much as zyprexa but i cant get off, too messed up now and cant handle anymore withdrawal. i really really hate these pills. flush the gaba down the toilet or take it once a month to get a kick. thats all its good for. it really has a lot of control over my well being and i don't like it.

haven't had the ringing in a while, been laying off the weirdness. it was real and not in my head. i think it may be demonically influenced, but i don't know. its unlike any other ringing ive experienced. happens to other ufo people too. maybe im special. lol.

oh wait, happening again, seems to happen when i post for some reason. weird. kind of electronic, usually only in one ear. i know it sounds schizo, but its something that keeps happening to me for some reason. hard to explain.

had 7 inlaws and my folks in my 2 br apt for the hurricane. super fun. everyone was ok, but there was some wreckage at the folks and what not. we survived at least.
 
Damn, that's some fucked up stuff, jammin. Having to go through major withdrawal CT in jail is beyond inhumane.

Have you tried tapering the gabapentin? Or finding a temporary substitute.
 
Re: hurricane. Insane stuff. Its happening a lot. We've had weird weather in Australia too, some of the worst I can recall.

The end is nigh and about Fucking time. :D
 
Yes, that sounds about right about Gaba. It should be once a week a max for both that and Pregabalin. Pregabalin is even worse as it's much stronger. Typically, someone who's partial to get addicted to benzos or opiates will get pulled into daily use, though.
 
My parents vacation house in Florida survived the hurricane undamaged. Others weren't so lucky. Their county was hard hit. You might have seen the images of destroyed highway A1A on the news along the intracoastal waterway. Their house is in the same county. Other close family in Georgia and South Carolina haven't been able to return to their houses yet as they were forced to evacuate. We're guessing they'll be fine though based on news. Glad other Bluelighter got lucky too from what I've heard so far.
 
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