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⫸STICKY⫷ The Delphic Oracle- Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

Ninae said:
I want to live in your land, BD.
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I guess you'd need a lot of alkaloids to survive the cynical and agnostic scientific ideology of my land.

Or we can just forget about our philosophical differences, and smoke opium in peace! :) Or whatever you enjoy.
 
Oh I do like alkaloids ever so much.

Haven't seen cosmic trigger for a while. Hope he's hanging on in there.
 
Yeah me too, I was just thinking about him. It can be scary when BLers stop communicating. I'm a little scarred by amanitadine... he and I talked about ibogaine a lot and got pretty close and then he didn't post for like a month... I just knew something happened, and sure enough, he died. :(

Cosmic Trigger, say hi if you see this!
 
I'm liking Phenibut this time around. I call it Gaba sugar. I seem to have a need for gaba-chemicals or it helps my stress. You can feel it calm down the ego-energies or negative feelings in general. Not as effectively as opiates, and it lacks that euphoric quality, but it can give you some peace.
 
California is kinda weird like that, September is significantly hotter than August and then October rolls around and from one day to the next it is cold. Today I had to turn on the heat. Two days ago I wished I had air conditioning installed. It even rained for 20 seconds in my backyard. Just in one spot and just enough to wet the ground a tiny bit. Neighbors were dry. Ground is dry again now as I type. Seems like it was a show for my eyes only.

We've been in a drought for years now and haven't seen rain since May. Had to turn off sprinklers and water sparingly by hand. My poor plants are smiling right now. Rain season will soon begin. If someone knows how to do a rain dance please start a thread. :)
 
It would sure be nice to live in a summery part of the world this time of the year. May-September is the only summer season. It's weird, it's warm and friendly outside and you can use the outside as a living room, etc.

Then the winter comes along and the outside world is suddenly this hostile place where you want to spend as little time as possible. Also that it's so dark and dead as well. It's like everything is just dead. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. I'll miss being able to go out in the sun, though, because it cheers me up.
 
I know Xorkoth asked awhile ago, but I saw Cosmic Trigger post today. He wanted his mommy because he realized he might be in a simulation. LOL, just another day at BL, a box of chocolates we are.
 
Yeah I saw that :D I'm glad he's still plugged in...
 
I've noticed. Any reason? Me too to an extent.
 
School mainly. Been trying to pull my grades up. I'll be more active now though.
 
I had an interesting dream last night, it was like I took a trip to the future.

I was trying to catch a plane in Stockholm but got into a horizontal elevator that moved really fast, and when I got out I was in a remote Northern city and struggling to get home. Everyone was laughing because I thought it was just a normal elevator.
 
received a PM or two so id thought id clarify a couple things here.

ive had mono or some other nasty virus for a couple months now. as most medicinally inclined will tell you, viruses can flare neurological stuff up. so increase in nerve pain, mania, and my schizoid tendencies. the depression is still pretty bad and living in my skin is a difficult task. just going to work and functioning is a bit of a challenge. not really sure what to think anymore. don't know why im getting this very strange buzzing in my ears, only happens when talking about aliens and its really weird. feel like someone is toying with my head and thats a cruel thing to do someone in my shoes. i feel like an experiment to see what the human mind can take.

after two years of losing my mind, and my health. my insides hurt, my body aches, and it seems my mind has grown legs and wandered off. i have little control of my thoughts anymore. damn zyprexa is poison from hell. i usually seem to have a pretty good grip on reality, but i don't know. not sure what happened to me lately. i feel like crap, but nothing new. i feel ok, for me, but something is going on in my head. spiritual awakening, i don't know. maybe i finally snapped after this long of trying to keep it together.

whatever is happening, its pretty scary, i don't really tell anybody anymore, but im kind of terrified of being stuck like this. I was never schizo before, just depressed. it feels like ice cream scoop chunks are missing out of my brain.

that said, i think most of my brain stuff is a separate issue, bc i feel differently now about everything, but its hard to put into words. dont really know how or why that happened. maybe im just completely nuts now, but things seem more clear in a way.if it weren't so damn painful, itd be kind of interesting. not sure schizophrenia is what we really think it is anyway. for all we know, these folks really do have implants and what not lol.

anyhow, navigating the world in this headspace is a difficult task, i kind of feel like my soul is half ripped out my body, been this way for two years, so idk what to think anymore. i just know when i get going, i have no control over my mind. trying to be ok, breathing, whatever. i try to just go to the park, get on the swing, and just chill out in the sun in my happy place.

so im not really sure about what's happening, would love to go somewhere and get patched up, but its just not the way that it works for us crazies.

whatever is going on, i apologize for being a weirdo. im trying to sort everything out, but i mostly just feel like death. wish i could just feel normal, bc anymore its hard to know whats real and whats just in my head. seems real but brains are fallible. shucks.

be good everybody. cheers.
 
Sorry to hear that Jammin'. Wishing you well. As someone who has gone over the edge himself, possibly to the point of no return but is functional, I highly recommend facilitated breathing. Transformational breath is the best modality I've encountered but holotropic, rebirthing or presence process are great. Anti-psychotics may be necessary, but breathing can sometimes replace the need for it entirely. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to discuss the breathing excercise.

Sorry for my own comments on one of your posts. They weren't helpful. I apologize.
 
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