If I had
never come across bluelight...
Well. I would still have tried drugs, because they were offered to me by my now-husband, who I was trying to impress at the time, 2 weeks into our relationship and well before bluelight time.
After that weekend I decided to do a little internet "research" of my own and ended up here.
I don't think I would have gotten as far into it as I did, had I not found this site. I found a hell of a lot of co-collaborators and acceptance of what I had previously thought of as a "druggie thing" and a path I'd never take
Bluelight parties and friendships caressed and teased my own inate self-destruct button and I can absolutely say by the time my initiator had recovered from his own hangover he had unwittingly created a monster.... an eager apprentice wanting, and orchestrating, more.
Within months I became the one both suggesting it and getting it, and can honestly say I was the initiator in every single one of our ' big nights' which turned into every weekend or thereabouts for 4+ years.
Don't know where I'd be now had a baby not saved me.... us. More me
I don't blame bluelight, I probably would have sought it out anywhere... but bluelight and its friendships did make it easier.
I do have three or four really good friendships that I take from here and care about those people deeply... but that side of my life is a bit of a shadow now and I am necessarily taking a step back. The scales tip one way and they tip another, and the dawn breaks on a different life.
Thankyou bluelight, for the memories