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I want to be cured of my homosexuality

Positron

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
14
I am sick of these intrusive homosexual thoughts that I have and I really want to change. I feel so ashamed of myself and even though I'm twenty three years old, haven't told anyone I'm gay. I don't want to live a lie anymore.

Does anyone know if counselling will help? Or is there nothing I can do to change?
 
You can live a lie and tell yourself that you're straight, but that's no way to live your life. If you're gay, you're gay. Counselling might not be a bad idea to help deal with how upset you are about being gay, but it won't 'cure' your homosexuality because that's not something than can or needs to be cured.

We all need to find a place within ourselves where we can be comfortable for the duration of our lives. There's more to people than their sexuality-- try not to obsess too much about it.
 
If I can't be cured through counselling, then I'll have no choice but to chemically castrate myself.
 
Just get some counselling before you do something you will regrate.
Their is nothing wrong w/u being gay.
 
There is something wrong with being gay. Being gay is, in my opinion, morally reprehensible. I do not want to go to hell. I am scared god will punish me.

I am afraid that I will act on my gay fantasies.
 
its how you are. its a long journey. i'm not religious but i was brought up in a household that occasionally attended baptist church, and you know how they are with homosexuality. i don't believe in christianity anymore but..yeah. its a long road. its tough. but dont be ashamed of it, its nothing to be ashamed of. who is telling you its wrong? dont listen to them.

you cant be 'cured'. you will only run from yourself and grow to hate yourself until you either self destruct, or face yourself, embrace who you are. you'll be happier if you just accept it man. its really not wrong.
 
You think your homosexual thoughts are morally reprehensible, which leads you to try to suppress them, so when they do appear they feel intrusive.

Even if you ultimately would rather lead a straight lifestyle, coming to terms with your homosexual tendencies, rather than trying to pull them out of your mind, might put you more at ease.

Maybe you could also try not labeling yourself so much. I'm not religious at all, but since you are, maybe you could try thinking of yourself as just a "being" or one of "God's creations," whom he loves no matter what because he created you, rather than "straight" or "gay".
 
once you tell everyone around you, you'll probably stop feeling like its some terrible dark secret. i'd say this would be your 'cure'
 
dude i've been going through the exact same thing for the last 6 or 7 years. I had some shit happen to me when I was younger that really messed with my sexuality. Its one thing to be gay, but its another thing to act out on it. I also can't stand the fact that I'm a closet-case. You can have all the fantasies you want, just don't act on them.
 
ask god for a cure?

therapy might work, but ive never heard of a successful "cure."

maybe a christian conversion camp?

ever watched "saved?"

im sure if there was a god, hed punish you for the chemical castration more so than for you being gay.
if i were god id be pissed off if my creation harmed itself cuz it didnt like how i made it.

Christbait- Thanks for clearing up that i must be straight( i thought i was pansexual), i mean, ive been attracted to boys, but never had a b/f or had any sexual encounters with a boy, but i have with girls. sexual actions define one's sexuality...interesting.


just my 2 cents...
 
Your gay man theres nothing fucking wrong with that and in this day and age you shouldnt be ashamed of it. Your problem isn't being gay it's the fact that you are ashamed of the matter. You think god will punish you for being gay? Thats the biggest load of nonsense ive ever heard. You arent hurting anyone so why would you be punished it makes no sense.

All that homosexuality is a sin stuff is nothing but bullshit put out by right wing religious nutjobs. You can't live a lie and pretend to be someone your not. That will cause alot of troubles for you.

You are who you are and you can't change that the sooner you come to terms with it the better. Some counselling may help you in that regard. It may make you realize that there is nothing wrong with the way you are. Im not even the slightest bit gay (i love women too much =D ) but i hate it when people come up with bullshit saying it's wrong and a sin and whatnot.
 
Go look up statistics on how many "hetero" men experiment with other men at some point in their lives... I believe the number is quite high. Also, there are plenty of men who have gay fantasies, but when they try acting out on them, they find it unappealing. So as others have said, I'd avoid labeling yourself.
 
If there is in fact a "hell", which I don't believe a pure and loving God would send his/her perfect creations to anyway, it is for people who are malicious and cruel toward others, not good people like you.

It is possible to maintain spirituality and faith while also living your truth. If church is making you feel WORSE instead of better, you should find another way to express your faith. Religion should be uplifting, not repressing, and the whole "gay is a sin" thing is just an example of people taking their own fears and using religion to justify them. (If you haven't already, please watch "For the Bible Tells Me So." It's a documentary that follows 5 families who are Christian and have gay children and explores the true meaning behind the Bible's "gay-related" passages.)

I hope you get help for your insecurities and come to see your homosexual feelings not as intrusive, but as a part of yourself, albeit a tiny portion of who you are. Sexuality is neither something to be proud nor ashamed of and the sooner people realize that, the better off we'll all be. I know it's hard being non-straight in a world so biased toward straight relationships because I live it everyday. You can't escape it. Even though we're on the right path toward accepting homosexuality and not out-and-out persecuting gays as a society, there is still an underlying prejudice in the media, law, and day-to-day life. You're "straight until proven gay", meaning people just assume that most of us are 100% straight until they "come out", making heterosexuality appear normal and homosexuality pathological in some subtle ways. The truth is, sexuality is a spectrum along which individuals can fall in one place and move to others throughout one lifetime...or not. Wherever you fall, work toward embracing it and living your truth.

Life is too short to be miserable.
 
paranoid android said:
Your problem isn't being gay it's the fact that you are ashamed of the matter. QUOTE]

Exactly. You'll be much happier if you try to come to terms with your sexuality rather than repressing it or trying to change it, which can't be done. I do think counselling might help you get past false beliefs, like saying that being gay is wrong. Also it might help if you met some gay men; you'll realise that few conform to any negative stereotypes you might have. I think this might really help, even if you are not looking for anything other than friendship, it might radically change your belief system, which is what you must do to find happiness.

Good luck
 
What's wrong with being gay? Yes, counseling will help, but only to feel more comfortable with your homosexuality. I should know, my parents sent me to 3 therapists to try to change me, they actually made things harder on me by trying to do this. Now, I'm 29 and have been in a relationship with a man for the past 6 years, life couldn't be better, but I also never thought anything was wrong with being gay, my parents were the one's with the problem....If you wanna chat more, IM me...
 
Positron said:
There is something wrong with being gay. Being gay is, in my opinion, morally reprehensible. I do not want to go to hell. I am scared god will punish me.

I am afraid that I will act on my gay fantasies.


"God" created you gay.
I have as much choice being gay as I do having green eyes.
Why would you be condemed to hell for the way he created you?


You definitaly need counseling or someone to talk to...I would be glad to answer any messages you would like to send if you need an ear or someone to talk to
...but I have a sneaky suspicion that this is a hoax.
*cocks eyebrow*
 
Positron said:
There is something wrong with being gay. Being gay is, in my opinion, morally reprehensible. I do not want to go to hell. I am scared god will punish me.

I am afraid that I will act on my gay fantasies.

I also suspect that this is a hoax, but in case it isn't I will share this story:


A good friend of mine had similar issues to you. His family is very (fanaticaly) religious, as is he. He knew he was gay (it was pretty obvious), but was afraid of all the usual stuff. He was really worried that he was going to go to hell. When he first told his parents his mom and his brother were both crushed that they were not going to be together with him in heaven, and that there was something so terribly wrong with him. He came out at about your age.

Fast forward a few years - he (and his family) have realised that God created him this way for some reason and that it would be more of a sin for him to miss his calling because of being afraid. They are now totally supportive of him and he is living a life that is better than what he had ever imagined. It was painful to get there, but not that bad.

You can choose to live a 'normal' life with a wife and children, knowing that you are not being true to yourself - that is the easiest choice.

You can experiment with guys - I though I might be gay for a long time because I appreciated mens bodies more than women. In my case though the opportunity to be with a hot guy 'arose', and it was a total turn-off, it made me realize that I am a straight guy who appreciates other mens bodies because I would like them to be my own, and measure my own against them. Maybe a realisation like this would help you decide if you really are gay or just think you might be.

You also have the choice to say fuck-em-all and just live life to the fullest, not worrying about what people (and God) think. If you live in BFE, move to new york, Florida, or California where you will fit right in. Who cares what your sexual preference is - just use protection and do whomever you please.

I mean this is 2008 - how can anyone think that rules written 2000 years ago are still meant to be interpreted as they were back then?

No matter what you are going to have moral dilema's in your future - chemical castration should only be considered if your tastes include young boys - otherwise you are who you are.
 
There is nothing wrong with being gay.

Be proud of who you are. If you are truly gay, I don't think there is anything you can do to "cure" yourself. Do you even like women?

I'm sure its really hard coming out of the closet, especially if you were raised by a religious family who has implanted these thoughts into your mind. I don't want to jump to conclusions about your family but I am willing to bet they are religious and would not approve of your lifestyle. Tough shit. If they love you then they will have to learn to live with it. If you love yourself you will have to learn to live with it. No reason to turn into someone you aren't.

From what I know about this "god" character, he/she is a forgiving creature. Why not just ask for forgiveness and go on with your life?
 
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