Downwardplane
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 27, 2008
- Messages
- 99
I'm a long time lurker. I've been reading this site almost daily since 2005. Tonight I finally have the courage to tell you what I've known for the last three years. I'm a drug addict. I want to show how I got there. If it helps even a handful of people to not repeat the same mistakes I did I will be humbled.
I'm Jay, I was a friend, a brother, a lover and a son. Then I discovered my real love Oxycontin. In 2005 I hurt my back helping a friend move. I immediately felt a sear of pain down my lower back and left leg. An MRI revealed a disc herniation at S1 L5. My Dr immediately prescribed the pain killer percocet. One to be taken every 6 hours. The First couple times I took one at a time and then by the end of the week I was taking eight a day! I loved these pills they took my shyness away, For the first time I felt confident around people. My friends saw the change and thought I was more fun. I had found my miracle.
My girlfriend Sharlene started to notice I was slurring my words as I was now taking ten percs a day. She would say "Jay what's wrong with you. You're taking way too many of the pills." Being a nurse she saw the signs but probably ignored them because she loved me. Following the back surgery I recovered quite quickly but still complained of back pain because i couldn't bare to be without my new shining star. To my amazement the Dr said I'm worried about the amount of tylenol you're ingesting I'm going to prescribe oxycontin. I played it cool but i was smiling inside high fiving myself. He prescribed one 10mg pill twice a day as needed.
As the days continued my friends who were once by my side began to dwindle. I didn't feel like going to the gym, or the movies, or restaurants or parks. I was more comfy just getting high and watching tube or on the computer 24/7. I still had Sharlene though, she was still with me, she was loyal. Time passed and Sharlene was calling me less and less and taking longer to respond to my phone messages. As we approach the end of 2007 my daily consumption of oxy was 100 mg's a day. Sharlene had had enough. She asked me days before she left "What my five year plan was?" I said "Well to be happy and living with you." Her response "I've thought about this a lot more than you have Jay." She was right and soon she was gone to.
Fast forward to February of 2008. My Oxy habit is up to over 130 mgs. to not get sick. I'm not making it into work, I lose my job and eventually have to move home with my parents at the age of 27. Soon after my DR has decided to taper me off the meds. Only I don't follow the taper and am out of pills in a matter of days.
Fuck! I'm sick! Three days without my dear shining star. I'm sweating,hot,cold,restless, sore. I'm desperate I call an old contact of mine that sold me weed a couple years earlier. I call the number is ringing and he has a pill contact. Except i'm paying street prices now and stealing from the only two people left on earth who love me, my own parents. My father found out and kicked me out. A few months later I saw Sharlene and she was laughing and walking with one of my other friends who drifted away. They're engaged now.
I'm scared, I'm homeless and not sure where to turn to. I can post on the internet at this cafe for free if i buy a coffee. Oxycontin, you stole my pride,my one true love and most importantly the people who brought me into this world.
I'm Jay, I was a friend, a brother, a lover and a son. Then I discovered my real love Oxycontin. In 2005 I hurt my back helping a friend move. I immediately felt a sear of pain down my lower back and left leg. An MRI revealed a disc herniation at S1 L5. My Dr immediately prescribed the pain killer percocet. One to be taken every 6 hours. The First couple times I took one at a time and then by the end of the week I was taking eight a day! I loved these pills they took my shyness away, For the first time I felt confident around people. My friends saw the change and thought I was more fun. I had found my miracle.
My girlfriend Sharlene started to notice I was slurring my words as I was now taking ten percs a day. She would say "Jay what's wrong with you. You're taking way too many of the pills." Being a nurse she saw the signs but probably ignored them because she loved me. Following the back surgery I recovered quite quickly but still complained of back pain because i couldn't bare to be without my new shining star. To my amazement the Dr said I'm worried about the amount of tylenol you're ingesting I'm going to prescribe oxycontin. I played it cool but i was smiling inside high fiving myself. He prescribed one 10mg pill twice a day as needed.
As the days continued my friends who were once by my side began to dwindle. I didn't feel like going to the gym, or the movies, or restaurants or parks. I was more comfy just getting high and watching tube or on the computer 24/7. I still had Sharlene though, she was still with me, she was loyal. Time passed and Sharlene was calling me less and less and taking longer to respond to my phone messages. As we approach the end of 2007 my daily consumption of oxy was 100 mg's a day. Sharlene had had enough. She asked me days before she left "What my five year plan was?" I said "Well to be happy and living with you." Her response "I've thought about this a lot more than you have Jay." She was right and soon she was gone to.
Fast forward to February of 2008. My Oxy habit is up to over 130 mgs. to not get sick. I'm not making it into work, I lose my job and eventually have to move home with my parents at the age of 27. Soon after my DR has decided to taper me off the meds. Only I don't follow the taper and am out of pills in a matter of days.
Fuck! I'm sick! Three days without my dear shining star. I'm sweating,hot,cold,restless, sore. I'm desperate I call an old contact of mine that sold me weed a couple years earlier. I call the number is ringing and he has a pill contact. Except i'm paying street prices now and stealing from the only two people left on earth who love me, my own parents. My father found out and kicked me out. A few months later I saw Sharlene and she was laughing and walking with one of my other friends who drifted away. They're engaged now.
I'm scared, I'm homeless and not sure where to turn to. I can post on the internet at this cafe for free if i buy a coffee. Oxycontin, you stole my pride,my one true love and most importantly the people who brought me into this world.