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ADDICTS: Are you livin a secret double life? Secret addiction? Post here

My story starts with a silly thing I heard on the internet. People in africa were supposedly getting high off the fumes of fermented human waste. "Jenkem" they called it. Well since my younger days some people that care about me and my family's reputation keep me on a tight leash. Besides my effexor script, it is impossible for me to get drugs.

Or was impossible, until I found I could ferment my own shit and piss in plastic bags under the sink in the wight house bathroom.

I fell in love- and when I say that it Means Something. I've had access to the best coke, the best dope, the best everything in the world. And NOTHING takes me to the magical land of jenkem. The best thing is that it lasts Hours. I can say anything and feel confident, amazing. Yeah, God talks to me. Yeah, killing randoms in some other country is Good For USA. I don't feel guilty about profiting from the deaths of innocent people killed in my wars.

But like every choice, doing jenkem has some negative effects. I see them as a consequence of my actions, not a punishment. When I'm forced to watch myself stuttering and saying something retarded on television, it does tear me up inside. But no one seems to know, everyone assumes I just talk like that- they don't think that maybe my brain is partially liquidated now and I can't ever feel fully sober and sharp anymore. Or maybe they don't care.

They don't care that it takes more and more jenkem to keep the pain at bay, how could they when I hide it so well? But how much longer can I keep patrolling the bathrooms of the country stealing floaters people leave behind, siphoning unflushed urinals? How will this end?

I'm still human enough that tears creep down my face and fall into my precious bags, diluting their potent contents. How will the world react? How will people handle it when they find out that I, president George W Bush, am addicted to Jenkem?
 
"until I found I could ferment my own shit and piss in plastic bags under the sink in the wight house bathroom"

lol! =D
 
well at first i lived what i thought was a double life. at least i didn't 'think' my friends or family knew i was a junkie. but then when i really got into it all my friends were junkies and i didn't really want to hang out with my family, so they all knew something was going on. and when people would see me sick or really wasted they would know something was up and tell other people. and so finally it got around that i was a junkie. most of this time i had a booth at an outdoor market where i would sell my handmade jewelry. i still made good money and i loved to go there anyway, but more and more junkies would come up to my booth and people started getting worried there too. believe it or not - people actually know already that some people are using and when they see these people hanging out with you they start getting ideas about what you are doing. so i started staying home all the time and just selling dope. i managed to do this for years without ever getting caught - but i was lucky and got out before i died or went to prison.
and i'm really sorry about the way i treated people when i was getting high. i just didn't care anymore about my family except to get money, or my regular friends either. when i finally got off dope i didn't even know hardly anyone anymore except for junkies and i actually moved away for a while to get away from them. now i am back and i have even managed to get some of my old regular friends back - but it was a while before they trusted me and saw that i was back to my normal self. once i went to an AA meeting and the guy chairing the meeting was one of my best customers. that was really weird. i told him how glad i was to see him still alive and that i am sorry i sold him dope for all those years. he said he was happy to buy it at the time and forgave me - but then he quit coming to that meeting. so did i.
djh
 
Yo, enod and GM i got to unapprove this thread for some personal reasons rite about now. Bad family shit goin on. i jus gotta disappear it for a week or so.
 
Undercover addicts; Drug Users....

Do you know any people who are undercover addicts or undercover Drug Users?

I can swear my cousin is a fucking a drug addict, she keeps sending herself to the mental hospital to get put on medications... than i see her yesterday with a "soft cast on her leg" which she said she sprained it and god pain medications... yet she sees nothing wrong with this at all....

So as of now i know she is on benzo's & opiate's not safe at all i know... but whatever i get fucked up, but not like that... sometimes i am just like yo want to try some dope since you like all that other stuff... but she is on that path downward, and thinks people dont see it... My family might be blind to the obvious, but i know whats up
 
Yeah I know a few undercover drug addicts. But I'm a fully uniformed addict. :\
 
I hate when, my cousins hid their usage for so long until they hit that hump.
Those fuckers had it coming so hard putting me down to cover their asses.

You can only cover it up until there is nothing left to cover it with, it just will eventually show in your life so help you god.
 
undercover drug dependant... my scene friends know the deal, but no-one around me really does... probably just as well, I imagine my life would be pretty hellish if the truth was exposed.
 
I am definitely living a double life. I am a full time college student and I work part time. I am currently addicted to opiates and have been using illicit suboxone to maintain. Up until three months ago I was smoking bth and coke everyday. Spend around 2 grand in 3 months or so....ran out of money. No one not even my brother knows of my heroin use. Only a handful of friends even know that I do suboxone.

My parents think i'm a good little college kid that goes to class everyday and then off to work. I want to just come clean to my parents about it so I can go get on suboxone legally, but if I come clean to them I will immediately be shipped to a rehab center, or they will just disown me. They are religious zealots and they only know that I tried a few things in high school. They think that I don't have sex, don't drink or do drugs. All of which I do haha.

I have been hiding an opiate addiction for the past three years now. When I first moved out of my parents house I got really deep into the oxy's and let it consume me. I dropped out of college, lost my scholarship and quit my job so I could continue my habit. After about 6 months of that I said fuck it, up and moved to a new city and started at a new school, even with all that I was able to keep it from my parents. Stayed clean for 3 months, which is my longest stretch since 2007. Then I went to a different state for the summer and promptly met a hookup for oc's at a fraction of the price I was paying at home....right back into it. Fuck my life...I am going to go the sub doc as soon as I can afford it.
 
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hyroller said:
undercover drug dependant... my scene friends know the deal, but no-one around me really does... probably just as well, I imagine my life would be pretty hellish if the truth was exposed.
Click to expand...

It must be hard to keep 3 years of meth dependence hidden!

I know I can't do it... I'm as obvious as ya get. :p
 
hmmm...my dad found out about the drugs & the low-level selling (when I broke my leg - cops found stuff - tipped my dad off - he went through my room).....

but yeah I mean, the cops took my crackpipes, so it was really more the moving product side that he got mega pissed off about.

of course that's all over now, fast forward 21 months & I'm a lowly consumer, but it makes things hard trying to affrod the thing you love... but oh well.. better to be on the right side of the law, and while I'm back under my dad's roof, I have to be smart about everything....

:\
 
Dude said:
I've lived a double life for ten years.

I teach drug education, and snort oxys in the parking lot before work.

I tell my kids not to drink or drug, while my pupils look like fleas.

I wear long sleeves when I occasionally fuck with the needle, and claim Im just cold natured.

I always have the flu... usually at the end of the month.


I hate myself for being a liar and a loser and a junkie. But its so damn hard to stop, and no one would understand anyway.

What middle class white woman my age is addicted to opiates? I'm a prominate citizen, no trouble with the law ( thogh I had a close call a couple months ago), and I'm running for another political office next year.

Yesterday and today, I'm clean. Next montth, who knows?

I can't believe how powerful addiction actually is.

I have missed moments in my kids lives cause I was so sick, moments that I will never get back, because I had to drive 3 hours to get drugs instead of being with them.

Fuck.
Click to expand...

Holy shit... was just browsing the posts and saw this. I must have a "clone" in another state...

This is me in a nutshell, though I'm an IV heroin user. I've been able to stay clean for periods of time, but it never lasts. Ultimately, I end up feeling hypocritical, alone, and ashamed because I can't seem to stop for good.
 
My boyfriend is the only one who knows of my addiction.... he also shares it. I know a few undercover and full blown addicts though.
 
As a full-blown addict who's blatantly obvious (I've had total strangers ask me "how long have you been struggling with the drugs?"), I find it hard to understand how other addicts manage to keep their addictions secret. Is it due to the particular drug? The level of addiction? Lifestyle/living circumstances?
 
i live a secret life, I like to get fucked up whenever i can, meth is my drug of choice. i do it whenever i can. i have got almost perfect at hiding my secret addiction. and also dealing with psychosis is just so easy now. i used to work in I.T. but that stopped when i was hit by a car 2 years ago. myy time in recovery from the accident was mostly sppent getting stoned and tweaked. but i was already a hardcore user before that. I ride my pushbike everywhere, I do bumps for an energy boost while cycling. a bullet inhaler helps.

i have been in a sexless relationship for the pastt 5 years, which i think is a major contributor to my drug habit. i get my pleasure from tweaking for a few days and jerking off every time my pants are dropped.
my g/f doesn't know i'm a hardcore tweaker, i have somehow managed it keep that a secret from her all these years. I'm always trying to give up smoking cigerettes and i blame my mood swings on the withdrawl symptoms from tobacco. its easier to get away with it when its winter as its flu season. yet i never seem to actually have the flu.

I love Raving, i have been a fan of the techno rave scene since i was only 7 years old. when i go out clubbing or raving i must have somethinng stimulating other than red bull to have fun.
I have even built a party lighting system in me bedroom that includes lasers, to re create a rave in my tweaker sessions. helps with producing euphoria.

I only snort, swallow, smoke and insert meth rectally. I tell myself that if i ever IV meth that i have to do something about it, like rehab.
meth has also helped me with writing Hardstyle and Gabber. so i really feeel no need to stop any time soon.

I live by myself so i don't have to deal with my parents kickingg me out any more, but my dad knows i smoke weed, and he seems cool with that.
but yea it seems i'm not alone noe since reading this thread, and thats cool
 
Got to say I was hoping you were asking if anyone knew any undercover cops that were drug addicts, damn I was gunna fill they're PM boxes till I got names.....

At any rate I try, but after being discovered, you have pinned pupils and a bright disposition just once and your back under scrutiny..

I had a pretty good run though, most of my years on BL hehe.
 
A double life.

I have since quit doing dope, but I remember what this was like.

my experience is that i'm a suburban boy who went off to college and had a close knite dorm.

we had alot of friends and this became hiding my IV heroin habit from over 30 people a day while living with all of them.

this obviously was a task but was basically hidden. people would wonder why i would randomly be puking (sick) sometimes... but i'd say its cause i was feeling bad.

the dead give away.

overdosed. bam. everyone knows now bitch..
 
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