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    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

Post Pics Of Those Who Died From Drugs

Jekyl Anhydride said:
I actually got to speak with his family and discussed his life & death while in his parents living room beneath a large picture of him when he was young. I'm a bottle rocket but he was a shooting star..

Bradley Nowell-

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:( such a sad painful story from an individual who gave us so much beauty
 
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RIP Stephen, going to miss you brother. <3
 
My bandmate and mentor, David Cheek aka Star, 1975, drug/alcohol overdose. Amazing guitarist, he could have owned the world. Still seems like yesterday, but it's been almost a life time. He was 22.
 
I actually did know Shannon Hoon. He was by far the sweetest guy you'd ever want to meet. And he was hella talented. Blind Melon was great band! It's unfortunate how many talented people are taken from us by this disease.
 
A year ago today my son's father decided that the words he had said to his son earlier that day meant nothing. I have no idea what happened between the time he dropped my son off at school and when he decided that hanging himself in his mother's garage was the thing to do later the same day. I know this- the day before was the first time that my son had seen his father in over a year. At this point in his life, my then 15 year old son really needed his dad. They had spent the night and morning talking about all that had gone on his (my son's) life, his hopes, his hurts. His father told him 'I will be here for you, from now on. I will always be here for you.' and once again, my son believed him. The next day I received a text "Eddie's dead". My son, even now a year later, thinks it is his fault. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Never mind that his father had started shooting meth at 12, never mind that his father was talking about how hard the heroin detox was on him. Never mind that his father hadn't been able to stay clean, cut down, or control himself for more than a year since he was 11. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Eddie's 'habits', his illness, killed him. He had made it to 41. My son was 15, he almost didn't make it to 16. His father's words will never go away, the promises that he made. The belief that because he made these promises, in his desire not to fulfill them, he killed himself to get away from his very own son. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Our sickness, our habit, our escape, our desires- they effect so many people. There is so much pain on these pages, there is so much shadow for those left behind. Some say that 'some die, so that others may live'. Apparently some die so that others will feel responsible.
If you reading this, thinking of the next step in your addiction, or even recovery (as plenty of us make it there before we decide to go), please think about those you are leaving behind. Think of those who will see your back and think you are running from them no matter how you are planning your escape.
I am still afraid for my son, he thinks he is responsible for his father's death.
 
G.R.S.H. said:
A year ago today my son's father decided that the words he had said to his son earlier that day meant nothing. I have no idea what happened between the time he dropped my son off at school and when he decided that hanging himself in his mother's garage was the thing to do later the same day. I know this- the day before was the first time that my son had seen his father in over a year. At this point in his life, my then 15 year old son really needed his dad. They had spent the night and morning talking about all that had gone on his (my son's) life, his hopes, his hurts. His father told him 'I will be here for you, from now on. I will always be here for you.' and once again, my son believed him. The next day I received a text "Eddie's dead". My son, even now a year later, thinks it is his fault. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Never mind that his father had started shooting meth at 12, never mind that his father was talking about how hard the heroin detox was on him. Never mind that his father hadn't been able to stay clean, cut down, or control himself for more than a year since he was 11. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Eddie's 'habits', his illness, killed him. He had made it to 41. My son was 15, he almost didn't make it to 16. His father's words will never go away, the promises that he made. The belief that because he made these promises, in his desire not to fulfill them, he killed himself to get away from his very own son. My son, he thinks he is responsible.
Our sickness, our habit, our escape, our desires- they effect so many people. There is so much pain on these pages, there is so much shadow for those left behind. Some say that 'some die, so that others may live'. Apparently some die so that others will feel responsible.
If you reading this, thinking of the next step in your addiction, or even recovery (as plenty of us make it there before we decide to go), please think about those you are leaving behind. Think of those who will see your back and think you are running from them no matter how you are planning your escape.
I am still afraid for my son, he thinks he is responsible for his father's death.
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I'm so sorry G. I hope you've gotten your son into grief counseling. I hope that you've freed yourself of your addictions. I hope your son finds peace and stays far away from drugs and alcohol forever since he shares DNA with Eddie and the habits he had. I'd hate for him to experiment and love the feeling of "escape" that getting high may temporarily offer.

I will include y'all in my prayers tonight.

Jane
 
Tim

A childhood friend with an Oxycodone Habit, a new pistol and denied rehab.
 
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I wish it was a requirement to read this before you could post...however, we may not have anyone posting then. My heart to all and any one of you who has lost someone in whatever way. Loss is loss. ?
 
I had a friend who had a meth addiction, then disappeared. I dont know what happened and I dont know if I will ever find out. Let peace be with him and free him of addiction.
 
Alaysha Dean from Jacksonville Fl, died very young. Now, even her social media posts are gone. She seemed at peace and resigned the last time I saw her.
 
I started this thread about a decade ago. It saddens me that there have been so many additions over the years.

Life is a real motherfucker, and death is inevitable.

I only hope that death avoids us until it cannot ignore us anymore.

Here's to love, life, happiness, and hope my friends.
 
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^ I think the thread you started has offered something very important to people here. Many drug deaths are swept under the rug by everyone from family to communities. Here is a place where people can honor their friends and family members, acknowledging not only the pain that led to their deaths but the good their lives held as well. Thanks for starting it.<3
 
herbavore said:
^ I think the thread you started has offered something very important to people here. Many drug deaths are swept under the rug by everyone from family to communities. Here is a place where people can honor their friends and family members, acknowledging not only the pain that led to their deaths but the good their lives held as well. Thanks for starting it.<3
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Thanks... It's been a difficult few years for me again.

My mother passed away in August of 2014 after consuming a marijuana edible I'd made her for her birthday.

She had been smoking a little pot for a couple of years to help her sleep and help with melancholy.

It was her 69th birthday and she ate half of the marijuana edible I'd made her. She had been on vacation playing golf for the week to celebrate. She had an aortic aneurysm and died pretty quickly thereafter.

I blamed myself intensely for 3 years. I lost my shit completely. A total and compete case of misery and self- loathing that blaming yourself for your mother's death will give you. It was horrendous and has forever changed me. We were best friends.

Then I got out of that funk and things were going really well.

Now my life has been yet again flung into loss and chaos, albeit not to death this time. (I posted in SLR about it if anyone is curious)

I guess I suppose I chose the correct screen name so long ago. I feel like chaos has followed me closely for my entire life.

Facepalm.
 
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Chaos23 said:
Thanks... It's been a difficult few years for me again.

My mother passed away in August of 2014 after consuming a marijuana edible I'd made her for her birthday.

She had been smoking a little pot for a couple of years to help her sleep and help with melancholy.

It was her 69th birthday and she ate half of the marijuana edible I'd made her. She had been on vacation playing golf for the week to celebrate. She had an aortic aneurysm and died pretty quickly thereafter.

I blamed myself intensely for 3 years. I lost my shit completely. A total and compete case of misery and self- loathing that blaming yourself for your mother's death will give you. It was horrendous and has forever changed me. We were best friends.

Then I got out of that funk and things were going really well.

Now my life has been yet again flung into loss and chaos, albeit not to death this time. (I posted in SLR about it if anyone is curious)

I guess I suppose I chose the correct screen name so long ago. I feel like chaos has followed me closely for my entire life.

Facepalm.
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That's just a freak accident. Not your fault at all
 
It absolutely isn't Chaos23's fault. Aortic aneurisms typically take years or decades to enlarge and weaken to the point where they split. I suspect he knows that, but I can also see how even so, he might feel guilty about the circumstances. In any case, I'm so sorry you had to go through that mate :(
 
Part of the grieving process is placing blame. Regardless of how someone dies, there is typically someone blaming themselves somewhere close by.

The sharp increase in blood pressure from the edibles could have been enough to trigger the aneurysm.

She might have lived another month, or another 15 years...but she didn't. There is no turning back the hands of time.

The universe is exactly like it is at every moment in time. It couldn't possibly be any other way than it is right now, in this very moment.

There were other things that could have triggered the aneurysm as well. She was medicated for high blood pressure, drank a lot of alcohol, and had been playing golf every day for a week.

There isn't any way to know exactly what triggered it, but OF COURSE I had to blame myself.

I've come to grips with it at this point, for the most part. It occasionally gets to me, but the intense grief has ended, as she would want it.

Thanks for the replies.
 
I have no pics that I can post....but my partner of 5 years ODd on a combo of Xanax and opiates. Found her next to me in bed on 7/7/2012.
My dear Karen... REST IN PEACE. Miss her every day.

Sherry - 6-27-60 - 03/17/2004... OD on Fentanyl patch. Left behind three children. Miss her and love her.
 
I'm really sorry, Betz. That has to have been extremely traumatic. Hope you and her children are bearing it well.<3
 
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