Older Students

[JosephTHeSequel]

I went back when I was 23, finished at 26. Best move of my life. Never felt weird at all.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

JosephTheSequel! I didn't think you were around anymore. Your screen name always cracked me up. Missed ya, dude. I agree with you -- college is for all adults, regardless of age. The classroom part of it, that is. The social life outside of class is a different story.

I'm one of the "younger generation" mentioned in this thread: I went directly from high school to college on my parents money and have never had a real job (one that I couldn't quit if I became even slightly annoyed).

That said, I had so much fun in high school that college is boring in comparison. And yet most of my classmates.. it's as if they've never partied before. And they don't take school seriously, and most of my friends have failed out or are close to it.

So I love the older students at my school. They are usually in their mid 20's to early 30's and almost always in the top of my class, academically. They don't tell lame stories about getting fucked up after four beers over the weekend. Now that I think about it, all of my friends here are 25+...

I find your story to be common among people who partied hard in high school, even if they're in the traditional 18~22 range. I met a number of people in college who'd 'gotten the partying out of their system' already, and had no problem consuming one, or zero, beers on a weekend night. Drinking and drugging were nothing special or exciting for them -- they'd been there done that and gotten tired of it. I noticed many of these students found it easier to buckle down and focus on their work in college. They seemed more mature, too.

I did the opposite. I was sheltered, nerdy, studious, and straightedge in high school (and hated every minute). When I got to college, I partied like a rockstar. I missed out on most of what my college had to offer in terms of extracurriculars and social networking, because of my abuse of alcohol and (mostly) marijuana.

I almost wonder if encouraging kids who are smart, promising, and college-bound to party as much as they want in high school is the way to go, so that they're over that and ready to get serious when they get to the school that really counts. There are many arguments against this, of course. But I almost wonder if it's the better of two evils

 

[JosephTHeSequel]

Found my way back to this place again a few months ago And Im happy I did MDAO! In fact, it was that whole going back to school thing that took up all my time!

 

[sushii]

I did the opposite. I was sheltered, nerdy, studious, and straightedge in high school (and hated every minute). When I got to college, I partied like a rockstar. I missed out on most of what my college had to offer in terms of extracurriculars and social networking, because of my abuse of alcohol and (mostly) marijuana.

This pretty much sums up my experience - I started uni at 17 after being bored shitless in high school and didn't really get the most out of my degree because I was too busy taking drugs and going to parties. All the stuff I would have done a few years earlier if I hadn't been stuck in a shitty town at a school I didn't like.

I went back to study something else part time at 22. It took me 5 years to finish and even though the age difference wasn't huge, I still found it hard to relate to most of the other kids in my course. I'd already done a degree, travelled overseas for a while, worked (and was still working), then made the decision to go back to school, and in doing so I'd lost the 'uni is one big party' mentality.

Over the 5 years I made a few good friends, but most were within a year or two of my age, or a lot older, and were there because they were getting something out of the course rather than coming straight from high school and enrolling because their parents wanted them to. Like someone else said, I much preferred to be around like-minded people......and even though it might not seem like it sometimes, they're always around somewhere.

 

[Rogue Robot]

I almost wonder if encouraging kids who are smart, promising, and college-bound to party as much as they want in high school is the way to go, so that they're over that and ready to get serious when they get to the school that really counts. There are many arguments against this, of course. But I almost wonder if it's the better of two evils

I've kind of thought about that myself, and maybe not even incredibly smart kids, just kids in general.

Encouraging kids to party in high school takes parents' help, too. I'm not too sure how my parents would have felt if they knew what kind of things I was doing on the weekend. I know they wouldn't have encouraged it.

But, each semester I see kids in my classes drop like flies throughout the semester. The only times that I see them come in are on days of exams. These are also classes where attendance gets counted (Is my uni the only place that still does this?).

It just saddens me to see kids waste their money and go through a situation that I was in years ago. I want to say something to them and shake the stupid out of them, but I chalk it up to them learning a life's lesson.

 

[Mariposa]

I've recently given a lot of thought to where I want to be a couple years from now. I have an AA and most of a BA in psychology. I left school when I was 22 to move across the country and swore I'd go back in a year.

I turn 28 next week. I've worked full time for all but brief periods in between. I've been in my field since I was 19. It's about damn time I advanced in it considering I don't know how to do anything else.

The silver lining is that I found a 100% online program to get a BS in Legal Studies combined with an ABA-approved paralegal certification. I don't want to be an attorney (I don't think). My small amount in loan $$$ is now rehabbed. I've talked to an admissions counselor...

and I'll be an advanced start student within the year while (hopefully) working full time. I'll be done about 12 months later, 18 at latest as most of my liberal arts/social science credits will transfer.

After that I will either get a master's, bite the bullet and use what I know to go to law school, or practice as a very highly paid paralegal - the last choice is the tastiest by far as the hours are livable, I can work part-time if I want to have a family and in all honesty I don't know how to do anything else. The job outlook for paralegals is fantastic. The job outlook for lawyers is terrible. It's a no-brainer.

Most important to me, though, is that I am so close to having a bachelor's that I feel it is unfinished business and I don't like unfinished business. It's a goal. I haven't had one of those in awhile. It feels good to have one again

It means I'll be even more busy than I am now - that's my only concern. I know I can balance it. Even better, most of my assignments will look like actual work at my day job.

I want my own damn office too.

Being of a more "seasoned" age will, I imagine, make me more motivated to excel in my studies. That 4.0 is not elusive. I can say "fuck you" forever to the insecurity I've faced by swapping firms about every 18 months, and "hello" to writing my own ticket. I really could not be more thrilled.

Good luck to all of you who are pursuing your education in nontraditional ways. Education is one thing no one can ever take away from you.

 

[rachamim]

Well...In my vountry, Israel, noone really goes to university before they are in their early 20s. From the end of Second From (what you call High School maybe) it is all about the military. The army requires 3 years mandatory for men, 2 for women (although females get exempted very easily), and the Navy requires 4 years mandatory.

Exempting any wars or national emergencies that means most finish with Service at around 21 or 22.

From that point most go on Walk About for up to a year to places like Cambodia or Nepal, a bit of R and R if you will.

Then comes university.

Me? I began my schooling a bit early after my second combat wound had me laid up for 4 months, managed 2 courses. Then after Walk About I headed to NYC in America, where I just arrived by the way, for another dreaded visit, and began studying at NYU, finishing my BS in Ethno-Botany at Ithaca in the mid 90s. I then began my Masters but dropped out just a semester shy.

I shopuld just infish it, would look great on a resume, right? Career soldier and botanist, can exterminate a village and then plant flowers, hire me. Hmmmm.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Good luck to all of you who are pursuing your education in nontraditional ways. Education is one thing no one can ever take away from you.

Amen to that! Knowledge is power, sunshine.

I really think older students are in a much better position to appreciate exactly what an upgrade to their academic credentials will mean, in real life terms. They've seen coworkers get promoted past them for earning more continuing ed credits. They've seen people negotiate a better salary for the same job, just because they spent more years in school. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, they've seen the connections forged with both fellow students and faculty come to fruition in the form of doors mysteriously opening for such people that weren't open for others.

I'm about to begin medical school at 29. In the meantime, I've racked up 2.5 years of solid healthcare experience with frequent contact with both patients and healthcare providers. I feel I have a very good sense of exactly what the process of becoming a doctor will entail for me, in terms of specific activities and projects. I really don't envy those fresh-faced 22 year olds I'll soon be joining, some of whom have racked up countless hours in an academic science lab, but haven't a clue what making a living in healthcare is really like.

 

[wizekrak]

MDAO, I agree completely.

There's no substitute for experience, and I think the interview is where that really shines. Up here at least, once you make it past the GPA and MCAT cutoff's it's 50% interview and 50% statement/references/E.C.s. There are only a handfull of medical students I know who I think were ready for medicine at the age of 22, I understand why Adcoms are hesitant to admit the youngins.

I think a seasoned and diverse background helps in applying to any graduate program. You've been around the block, you know the ins and outs, no illusions, you know why you're there.

Personally I'm a little excited. I've found out that I can most likely get into the 2nd best medical school in my country, all I need is a few points higher on my MCAT (which is completely doable). When I get accepted (most likely 2 years from now) I'll be 28. When I was 18 or even 22 I wasn't the man I am today, and it really shows. There are still hoops to jump through. The only downside is that by the time I'm done residency I'll be in my mid to late 30's. It's a rough road, but it's what I really want to do.

But I'm lucky in that cost of education is no object.

 

[Alephnul]

I'm about to begin medical school at 29.

Got to respect you for that, takes balls and comitment to go back to study, but med school (which I'm assuming is like the UK, 6-7 years) - good for you!!

I'm older than MDAO (don't ask how much), went through Uni straight after A-levels (18yrs old) and been working for BIG inc. for some time, I got good first degree, did well, good career etc, but ultimately unfulfilling, the more I earned, the less happy I was, hated my job, hated the people I worked with so took the plunge last year to go back to Uni, originaly plan was to do an MA (not relatedto work at all), enjoyed it so much I'm doing a doctorate in subject I have a passion for, but that offers few career prospects outside of graduate teaching (poor pay in the UK), but never been happier/ I'd rather be poor and happy and doing something positive for my community, than burning out as an arrogant, self-edifying, coke-addled super-salesman who would sell their grandmother into prostitution..'to hit my target and get that bonus'

I don't feel self-conscious, most people have me down as 23-25 anyway (when you're happy, it sheds years off you!!). Plus you can add your commercial experience to the mix,which life-long academics don't often have. Also when you go to Uni by choice, and are paying out of your own pocket (you have to contribute to your fees in UK, about $5k pa) your approach is different. I've not feltout of place at all, and its increasingly common in the UK for people to return to eduction after a few years work.

You are right about the ladies, but as I'm teaching its off-limits.

PAX

AN

 

[Vaportrails]

Older student can't focus.. Messed up thoughts.

I'm 28 and currently finishing my first year of part-time Uni. I already have an associates and a post-grad in a different field, but due to the separation of Colleges and Universities where I live, I can't transfer any of my credits over.

I have to say, the social climate weirds me out in some ways. It doesn't help that I do find many of the freshmen in my classes very attractive, and I feel rather helpless about the whole situation because it is so distracting. You'd think Science geeks would be uglier, but the girls in my classes are jaw-dropping. I try to put it out of my mind and focus on the material, but too easily my eyes wander. Even though I don't look older than my age, I feel self-conscious about the age gap, even though I'll argue to the death in principle about age being a poor reflection of maturity or compatibility. The result is that much of my lectures and labs revolve around me feeling self-conscious about being 28 and finding these girls, many 10 years my junior, sexually attractive. I also feel as if nobody wants to be my lab partner because I'm older and walk around with this sort of blank expression on my face to try to hide my admiration.

The worst part is that I'm actually a very witty and charismatic guy when I'm in my element. Around the other older students I'm a hit, and often spend time after class socializing and taking lunches with the profs. The teachers are great, and they offer open discussion after classes and private study sessions. In a class of over 300 people, zero freshmen take advantage of this. It's just me and the other older students. During this time, I can finally be myself and it's great.

If I didn't already have a long-term girlfriend I'd consider chemical castration. I feel life as a eunuch would be pleasant in a morbidly effeminate way.

This is all exacerbated by the fact that I missed out on the social atmosphere of College when I went the first time, and a part of me would really like to experience the social scene, even if it's just for a little while. I want to "live the College life" just for a bit. I'm sick of playing Rock Band with my ageing buddies from high school who are all getting married and having kids. I want to shmooze around, play grab-ass at the bar, and meet some amazing people who are in the prime of their life.

Does this sound creepy or something? I feel like a victim of my own neuroses because I know there's nothing wrong with my life situation, it's just my attitude about the whole thing is laced with fear, regret and envy. I feel I have an unhealthy attitude about what could otherwise be a very positive experience for me.

Can anyone help me with this? I'm sabotaging my success because of these social and image hangups and I desperately need advice.

 

[emperorofusa]

I can relate in a few ways. I am 26, and because I had a lot of time out of my life taken by having to deal with my bipolar disorder, I am still going for my associate's degree at a community college. I didn't get the chance to go to college when I turned 18 like a lot of other people, and I didn't enroll until I was 22. 24 was when I got into drugs and it messed up the last two years of college.

Now I'm back in classes and I have to agree with you, a lot of the younger women are extremely attractive. I just try to remind myself that they probably don't care that I'm older than they are. I'm not that old. Hell, you aren't that old, either, and at least you already have some degrees behind your belt. That's better than me. It is a bit weird with the women because most of them are my younger sister's age, between 18 and 20, and the age gap is so large. I just try to socialize with anyone and everyone so I don't feel as awkward. What is always in the forefront of my mind is that I'm in the classes to do my best and to finally finish up and get myself a college degree, then immediately transfer to another college to get my BA.

It might help you to try to be a little more social. At least then you might not feel as isolated and as awkward in those other classes with all of the young students. You seem to have no issues talking with people closer to your own age, so it shouldn't be a problem for you to show some character in your other classes. Your issues trying to focus might just be connected to your feeling out of place.

You can't change your age so you might as well try to get comfortable with it; it's part of who you are. No reason to be ashamed of that.

Best of luck to ya.

 

[Rogue Robot]

i went ahead and merged your thread with one i created a while back. hopefully there will be some good information there for you.

while i don't find many people in my department attractive, i've found that i've gotten over the age gap as my classes have become more focuses, and there generally aren't any people i don't see on a regular basis in them anymore. i did have that issue when i was taking entry level classes, and while it was hard for me and i yearned to make friends, i just stuck to the friend that i had elsewhere until i established relationships in my department and gotten more comfortable with the faculty, grad students, and the other undergrads.

as far as your physical attraction to other students in your classes, handle it how you would handle it any other time.

 

[placid space]

Youre still just 28 and even If you were older, its not creepy at all. First of all, you'll never get over the younger chicks attraction thing, thats just natural. When you'll be 50 you will still look at 20yo hot asses with desire. Girls, that always stays with you. Just letting loose in one way or another also. Drinking depends on the person. Plus relationships with 10+y age difference are nothing out of the ordinary today. My granma and granpa, 18 years.
Secondly, its not weird to wish to do things you didnt do the first time round through your college experience. Im only a few years younger and regret not doing many things. Though I think on quite a few levels your mentality is more mature than most of the students which I suppose you figured out already so I wonder to what extent you really wish to party and how much you are drawn only to the idea of partying.
Im pretty sure all of your older friends, hell even the professors, would like sometime to go out and hit on chicks, get drunk and overall let loose but theyd feel weird and people their age dont do that.
Id advise you to RELAX, stop worrying so much. People tend to notice that and stay away. There is guy in my class that is over 30 and he doesnt have a problem socializing. He acts normal, hes relaxed and doesnt have a problem getting a partner for seminars. The major difference is in conversations with him, they tend to be on a more mature note since his priorities are a bit different. But not that much. I dont know about you but for me talking to people 10 years younger is sometimes is a bit difficult, especially when there are 2 or 3 involved and the conversation just becomes too dumb for me. But on the other hand I think after your mid twenties you start shaping your personality, so from that perspective, while you may have problems talking to younger people I find I have no problem talking to older people. Any age above mine, be it 80, 50 or 40, I very often find things to talk about (at length).


Id advise you to relax, stop thinking about the age difference so much, definitely socialize more if you want to. For the most part I dont think we really change much mentally over the years, yes our priorities change but in essence I doubt it. I think I will still like cars, women, good music,poker nights and a good scifi movie when Im 50. Maybe only less.
Good luck, follow your wishes and if you dont succeed you have at least tried.

 

[moonyham]

LOL americans.. so funny how you guys segregate yourselves at any opportunity. Seriously, if its not race, its age, if its not age its appearance, if its not appearance, its because of some other stupid difference.

Im currently doing an IT degree and there is like 18 through to 50 yo's, almost everyone is a dif race/ethnicity, and we all get along just fine.

Its the same with the people i hang out with... none of us care really when it comes to anything like that.. your either worth hanging out or your not, some people are alot more mature than others, or just interesting and worth knowing.

Just remember you're all people and that the 18yo's etc probably dont even realise your that much older than them, aka stop being paranoid and just chill.

 

[Lysis]

Anyone else go back to school while they were in their mid-late twenties or later?

I feel so out of place sometime when I'm in my classes even though I look younger than most of the younger students in my classes.

I just realized this was bumped, but yeah...I did and I felt like a fish out of water with all the 18 year olds in my classes. LOL

 

[Rogue Robot]

LOL americans.. so funny how you guys segregate yourselves at any opportunity. Seriously, if its not race, its age, if its not age its appearance, if its not appearance, its because of some other stupid difference.

Im currently doing an IT degree and there is like 18 through to 50 yo's, almost everyone is a dif race/ethnicity, and we all get along just fine.

Its the same with the people i hang out with... none of us care really when it comes to anything like that.. your either worth hanging out or your not, some people are alot more mature than others, or just interesting and worth knowing.

Just remember you're all people and that the 18yo's etc probably dont even realise your that much older than them, aka stop being paranoid and just chill.

I really don't think it has to do with segregating one's self from the rest of the college community. For me, at least, it had a lot to do with maturity levels and goals in life. Returning back to school when you're older is a lot different than when you're in your late teens and it's the "right thing to do".

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

One further thought I had on this: it's definitely possible to be an older student who's well known and well liked by younger classmates. When I was an undergrad, there was a woman in her 50s in my Japanese class, all the way through, and she rocked. There have been others, too. Younger students definitely respect an older student who's young at heart, and defies the stereotype of older folks as tired and jaded. You can get away with being friendly with younger students without any game-playing or sizing up happening on either end.

If you're an older dude, I see nothing wrong with noticing the younger chicks all around you. It's kind of like going to school in a place with unusually pretty lush tropical scenery -- takes your mind off studying every now and then Trust me, being a healthy, slender 30 year old guy with a high sex drive at a graduate program that's over half 20something ladies, many of them fine genetic specimens, can get me more excited than the best cup of coffee when I walk into class in the morning!

Just ALWAYS be a gentleman. If you don't BE the skeevy old guy, the chicks won't think that's what you are. Not that I'd either count on it happening or discount the possibility, but if you do end up catching a spark with one of these chickadees, it'll probably be for your intellectual prowess, not because you convince her you're still cool.

 

[AmorRoark]

^ Yes, Yes and Yes to this. I'm finally in a classroom with a *very* wide variety of ages. We're talking 19-50. It's very interesting. Selfishly, I wish all my undergrad classes were like that. Interestingly enough, I'm finding that experience is basically the only thing that sets the older of our class apart. It's fascinating to see how similar our minds collectively work regardless of age. I guess I shouldn't have expected any different but somehow I did. It's very interesting.

 

[InTherapy82]

I'm 26 in a Master's program and everyone is older than me except for 3-4 people. But last semester most people were around my age and I liked that much more. I guess the age varies by semester.