Amberthefrog
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 428
Liberation
Introduction
The following report details my first experience with a psychedelic drug; Psilocybe semilanceata mushrooms. This happened almost a year ago so some details may have been forgotten, also all times given are only approximate.
It was the beginning of Autumn 2006, I was an intelligent, if angry and bigoted teenager. I had never taken a drug stronger than cannabis before and really had no huge desire to do so. Many of my family have stories to tell concerning psychedelic drugs and it was to these stories that I would listen curiously as a young teenager. My mother had been part of the hippy scene in the 60’s and had of course dropped plenty of acid, my sister had taken both LSD and Psilocybe mushrooms whilst several of my cousins had tried all sorts of tryptamines. It is fair therefore to say that I had a liberal upbringing with regards to see sort of things. I had been allowed to drink socially from a young age, growing accustomed to the common use of a socially accepted drug at my parents dinner parties, I had been introduced to cannabis by a member of my family at fourteen and I had heard the aforementioned stories.
Psychedelics had interested me, however despite hearing about them from my family my view of them was distorted; I (as many others also do) had imagined the trip to be focussed entirely on visuals. This had scared me a little, I liked to be in control, on Terra Firma so to speak. My interest was sparked in the spring of 2006 when I heard from a friend about Salvia divinorum, I researched this on the internet and quickly found Erowid. From here I learnt the basics of psychedelics. It didn’t take me long to reason that I could find and identify Psilocybe semilanceata myself, so I set out looking and by October I had around 25 specimens.
Melting of Boundaries
It was a Saturday night, sometime in August 2006. At roughly 9pm I ate the liberty caps; they were not nearly as bad as most (my sister included) had made out. The taste is somewhat reminiscent of a cocktail of earth and grass. Not very strong and certainly not repulsive by any means. The nasty thing is the texture; dried fungus sticking to your molars is rather unpleasant.
After about 10 minutes of slow mastication I had devoured the lot, I had a drink and sat back down at my computer. This was all occurring in my room which is detached form the main house, I had everything I needed here and no need to venture into contact with my parents, whom I knew would not disturb me at this time of evening. I was happy and excited, although a little nervous. The obvious question of ‘had I poisoned myself?’ nudged the back of my mind even though I was confident with my identification. Expectations? I, for some stupid reason assumed the dose would trigger a just-above-threshold experience.
9:30pm: No effects, at least not mental. Gas was starting to build at this point and I had the desire to vomit. Reasoning that it would pass sooner or later I decided to hold it in.
9:45pm: Something feels different, I am talking to friends of MSN and listening to music. Exactly what is different I cannot say. The nausea was reaching a peak of it’s own.
9:55pm: Definitely feeling something at this point, I had now concluded that the ‘something different’ was more than placebo. Was my neck flushing a bit? Did I feel warm? Was the music sounding different?
10:04pm: This time sticks in my brain because I remember suddenly feeling feverish and flushed, I looked I n the mirror and found my face was very flushed and red. I didn’t examine my pupils but I think that if I had done they would have been getting big. I glanced at the computer clock, it read ’22:04’ I remember thinking ’21:50 seems to have been an hour ago’.
At this point I wasn’t really feeling very good, the nausea was weighing the euphoria down. The flushing wasn’t really pleasant either and felt very feverish to me. It was then that the track Bouncing Round the Room by Phish came on, at this point my mood soared! I got up and walked around in a small circle, my coordination and motor function seemed normal enough. The large mirror on my wall had some odd attraction about it, I went and sat down, legs crossed, looking into it. It was then that I realised ‘threshold effects’ were out the window. I could morph my face at will through the mirror this was, to say the least, amazing. My features were transformable at a thoughts notice, in contrast to my peripheral vision, which was normal. Glancing around the room in stunned amazement I accepted that visuals only came through the mirror, no other CEVs or OEVs were present. So I stared and morphed.
10:30pm: The mirror finally grew boring and I returned to sit in my computer chair. I felt ecstatic; in fact I can’t really say I have ever felt better in my life, even on ecstasy. It was at this point that the tactile nature of the trip awoke. I melted. The feeling that swept over my body was just that, warmly, comfortably and slowly melting into a satisfied pool of euphoric goodness. I exclaimed to my friend on MSN rather wildly that I was melting, they asked what I was talking about and they didn’t get an answer.
All my life I had allied myself to sciences, I had been a dry atheist whom laughed at anything spiritual or abnormal. Not once, for all my supposed intelligence did I stop to consider that the entire structure of science is founded on nothing I had ever perceived, that is I had not myself witnessed any observations or experiments that conclusively proved any scientific law. Whilst this may sound petty the contrast was that I had always stated when quizzed about the paranormal ‘I will believe it when I see it’. The melting that had so happily touched my skin now leapt into my skull, as if some kind of fire had been ignited my mind melted. For one second I was completely open-minded, free from axioms and social bigotry. The fireball that had hit me vanished as quickly as it had struck and my mind returned to relative normality, that is to say it was now melting in a much smoother, pleasanter way rather than being liquefied in a flame so intense and pure it shook my very soul.
10:33pm: Looking at the time I was shocked, It must have been at least an hour surely, since the melting began! I was now comfortable and melty and much more open-minded even if my ego and social instincts had solidified somewhat. The initial rush was akin to vaporisation, boiling, my mind was gaseous in it’s freedom. This new state was as a liquid, fairly compact and consistent but still free and flowing. To this day my mind has not completely solidified and I like to think that it will never, entirely, do so.
10:34pm: Time was slow, so very so. This was however great as I was on top of the world. My hand found itself clutching a rubber ring designed for juggling. For some reason I began to gnaw on this, it was very satisfying and fun. I did this for the rest of the trip.
10:40pm: Those minutes were like months. I felt like I could do anything, my powers as a being were limited only by the limitations I placed upon them. My free hand found a cup, I decided to bend this with the melty powers of my mind, I did just that.
11:00pm: The peak had past and I found myself heading to the toilet. The journey there was actually unremarkable and I returned several times later. The nausea had long since been drowned and forgotten by the peak, I was still flushed but if a feeling of fever existed it was overwhelmed by the more obvious effects.
11:30pm: I found myself visiting the bookmarks on my browser, many were boring, some scary. Like looking into random houses down a street. Finally I got bored of this pursuit and typed some garbage into the search bar, some how I ended up reading a site on insurance or something. This would normally have been boring but I found myself studying it intently, hidden meanings were crammed into every sentence. Nothing sinister, in fact I felt great empathy for the insurance company, people hated it but I felt I could understand the true nature of insurance companies. I cannot exactly recall what the true nature of insurance companies was but I remember thinking, even at the time, that this was a silly realisation.
11:50pm: Realisations! Everywhere! My mind was on fire, running through and reasoning every concept, theory, and objective basis for reality that I could conceive. Much of what I concluded was perhaps a lot more understandable than the hidden nature of insurance companies. I wish I had written some of the realisations down, however I was struggling to remember and keep track of them then so I don’t know how easy this would have been. Time was still crawling, the melting had somewhat passed but I still felt great.
12:30pm: Pink Floyd tracks play; they are very deep and rather dark. Echoes, Cluster One, Shine on You Crazy Diamond and Time were all very memorable. I just sat there letting my mind wonder into increasing depths, many of which were not all that pleasant. Finally the song Brain Damage played, this was a little too intense and bought with it just about the only really awkward moment of the experience. Firstly I felt that this would never end, I think most trippers have had this feeling. Secondly I glanced in the mirror and this time my face was covered in a perfectly realistic Scream mask and cloak. This all happened in a matter of seconds during the first chorus of Brain Damage. I abandoned the track just as the words ‘I’ll see you on the…’ were entering my head. Just in time, my mood immediately returned to blinding euphoric goodness.
1:15am: I chat to people over the net, at the time I thought I was doing a good job in appearing sober. Later it appeared I hadn’t been that convincing! About this point I started considering sexuality; how humans determine and judge it, what my sexuality was and whether or not we are really anything higher than animals in this regard. I came to the conclusion that I was heterosexual but part of me at the time wasn’t pleased by this at all, I considered that most gay people I have ever known tend to be very individual and unique and thought this would be a good thing for people to aim at.
About this time I decided it was time to go to bed, accept I couldn’t sleep. After trying for what seemed like hours but was probably just a few minutes I returned to the computer, put on some happy melty music and returned to my previous euphoria.
2:00am: Time to try and sleep again, not that I was busy the next day…I just felt at the time pretty mentally drained. I put on my MP3 player which helped accept after about an hour the battery ran out and I was left with one song playing over and over in my head. A few hours of annoying head music later and I drift off into a pretty deep sleep.
The next day: I felt good the next morning but someone detached. Making the decision to be productive, I helped around the house all day. At this point I was glad I had tripped but didn’t really feel like I would do again for a very long time (I didn’t), it’s hard to explain why really as my experience was very fun and productive...i guess I just felt content. Over the next week I returned completely to reality and a passive happiness slowly built which lasted for months, this was an amazing feeling.
In summary I am very glad I did mushrooms when I did, I think I was at about the right age where I could take them responsibly and have fun whilst still learning something about myself. One of the main outcomes of the trip was being able to relate more to trip report, something that is difficult without any experience behind you. From browsing erowid (more than any actual experience) I developed a mental concept of infinite possibilities, nothing has limits and what we perceive to be limits are merely imposed by are normally restricted language, intellect and perceptions.
Since I started to write this I have experienced mushrooms again, almost exactly a year later, hopefully I will get around to a report on that to as it was in a lot more active environment!
Sweet dreams.
EDIT: Doh! I messed up the title format for a second time, sorry mods!
Introduction
The following report details my first experience with a psychedelic drug; Psilocybe semilanceata mushrooms. This happened almost a year ago so some details may have been forgotten, also all times given are only approximate.
It was the beginning of Autumn 2006, I was an intelligent, if angry and bigoted teenager. I had never taken a drug stronger than cannabis before and really had no huge desire to do so. Many of my family have stories to tell concerning psychedelic drugs and it was to these stories that I would listen curiously as a young teenager. My mother had been part of the hippy scene in the 60’s and had of course dropped plenty of acid, my sister had taken both LSD and Psilocybe mushrooms whilst several of my cousins had tried all sorts of tryptamines. It is fair therefore to say that I had a liberal upbringing with regards to see sort of things. I had been allowed to drink socially from a young age, growing accustomed to the common use of a socially accepted drug at my parents dinner parties, I had been introduced to cannabis by a member of my family at fourteen and I had heard the aforementioned stories.
Psychedelics had interested me, however despite hearing about them from my family my view of them was distorted; I (as many others also do) had imagined the trip to be focussed entirely on visuals. This had scared me a little, I liked to be in control, on Terra Firma so to speak. My interest was sparked in the spring of 2006 when I heard from a friend about Salvia divinorum, I researched this on the internet and quickly found Erowid. From here I learnt the basics of psychedelics. It didn’t take me long to reason that I could find and identify Psilocybe semilanceata myself, so I set out looking and by October I had around 25 specimens.
Melting of Boundaries
It was a Saturday night, sometime in August 2006. At roughly 9pm I ate the liberty caps; they were not nearly as bad as most (my sister included) had made out. The taste is somewhat reminiscent of a cocktail of earth and grass. Not very strong and certainly not repulsive by any means. The nasty thing is the texture; dried fungus sticking to your molars is rather unpleasant.
After about 10 minutes of slow mastication I had devoured the lot, I had a drink and sat back down at my computer. This was all occurring in my room which is detached form the main house, I had everything I needed here and no need to venture into contact with my parents, whom I knew would not disturb me at this time of evening. I was happy and excited, although a little nervous. The obvious question of ‘had I poisoned myself?’ nudged the back of my mind even though I was confident with my identification. Expectations? I, for some stupid reason assumed the dose would trigger a just-above-threshold experience.
9:30pm: No effects, at least not mental. Gas was starting to build at this point and I had the desire to vomit. Reasoning that it would pass sooner or later I decided to hold it in.
9:45pm: Something feels different, I am talking to friends of MSN and listening to music. Exactly what is different I cannot say. The nausea was reaching a peak of it’s own.
9:55pm: Definitely feeling something at this point, I had now concluded that the ‘something different’ was more than placebo. Was my neck flushing a bit? Did I feel warm? Was the music sounding different?
10:04pm: This time sticks in my brain because I remember suddenly feeling feverish and flushed, I looked I n the mirror and found my face was very flushed and red. I didn’t examine my pupils but I think that if I had done they would have been getting big. I glanced at the computer clock, it read ’22:04’ I remember thinking ’21:50 seems to have been an hour ago’.
At this point I wasn’t really feeling very good, the nausea was weighing the euphoria down. The flushing wasn’t really pleasant either and felt very feverish to me. It was then that the track Bouncing Round the Room by Phish came on, at this point my mood soared! I got up and walked around in a small circle, my coordination and motor function seemed normal enough. The large mirror on my wall had some odd attraction about it, I went and sat down, legs crossed, looking into it. It was then that I realised ‘threshold effects’ were out the window. I could morph my face at will through the mirror this was, to say the least, amazing. My features were transformable at a thoughts notice, in contrast to my peripheral vision, which was normal. Glancing around the room in stunned amazement I accepted that visuals only came through the mirror, no other CEVs or OEVs were present. So I stared and morphed.
10:30pm: The mirror finally grew boring and I returned to sit in my computer chair. I felt ecstatic; in fact I can’t really say I have ever felt better in my life, even on ecstasy. It was at this point that the tactile nature of the trip awoke. I melted. The feeling that swept over my body was just that, warmly, comfortably and slowly melting into a satisfied pool of euphoric goodness. I exclaimed to my friend on MSN rather wildly that I was melting, they asked what I was talking about and they didn’t get an answer.
All my life I had allied myself to sciences, I had been a dry atheist whom laughed at anything spiritual or abnormal. Not once, for all my supposed intelligence did I stop to consider that the entire structure of science is founded on nothing I had ever perceived, that is I had not myself witnessed any observations or experiments that conclusively proved any scientific law. Whilst this may sound petty the contrast was that I had always stated when quizzed about the paranormal ‘I will believe it when I see it’. The melting that had so happily touched my skin now leapt into my skull, as if some kind of fire had been ignited my mind melted. For one second I was completely open-minded, free from axioms and social bigotry. The fireball that had hit me vanished as quickly as it had struck and my mind returned to relative normality, that is to say it was now melting in a much smoother, pleasanter way rather than being liquefied in a flame so intense and pure it shook my very soul.
10:33pm: Looking at the time I was shocked, It must have been at least an hour surely, since the melting began! I was now comfortable and melty and much more open-minded even if my ego and social instincts had solidified somewhat. The initial rush was akin to vaporisation, boiling, my mind was gaseous in it’s freedom. This new state was as a liquid, fairly compact and consistent but still free and flowing. To this day my mind has not completely solidified and I like to think that it will never, entirely, do so.
10:34pm: Time was slow, so very so. This was however great as I was on top of the world. My hand found itself clutching a rubber ring designed for juggling. For some reason I began to gnaw on this, it was very satisfying and fun. I did this for the rest of the trip.
10:40pm: Those minutes were like months. I felt like I could do anything, my powers as a being were limited only by the limitations I placed upon them. My free hand found a cup, I decided to bend this with the melty powers of my mind, I did just that.
11:00pm: The peak had past and I found myself heading to the toilet. The journey there was actually unremarkable and I returned several times later. The nausea had long since been drowned and forgotten by the peak, I was still flushed but if a feeling of fever existed it was overwhelmed by the more obvious effects.
11:30pm: I found myself visiting the bookmarks on my browser, many were boring, some scary. Like looking into random houses down a street. Finally I got bored of this pursuit and typed some garbage into the search bar, some how I ended up reading a site on insurance or something. This would normally have been boring but I found myself studying it intently, hidden meanings were crammed into every sentence. Nothing sinister, in fact I felt great empathy for the insurance company, people hated it but I felt I could understand the true nature of insurance companies. I cannot exactly recall what the true nature of insurance companies was but I remember thinking, even at the time, that this was a silly realisation.
11:50pm: Realisations! Everywhere! My mind was on fire, running through and reasoning every concept, theory, and objective basis for reality that I could conceive. Much of what I concluded was perhaps a lot more understandable than the hidden nature of insurance companies. I wish I had written some of the realisations down, however I was struggling to remember and keep track of them then so I don’t know how easy this would have been. Time was still crawling, the melting had somewhat passed but I still felt great.
12:30pm: Pink Floyd tracks play; they are very deep and rather dark. Echoes, Cluster One, Shine on You Crazy Diamond and Time were all very memorable. I just sat there letting my mind wonder into increasing depths, many of which were not all that pleasant. Finally the song Brain Damage played, this was a little too intense and bought with it just about the only really awkward moment of the experience. Firstly I felt that this would never end, I think most trippers have had this feeling. Secondly I glanced in the mirror and this time my face was covered in a perfectly realistic Scream mask and cloak. This all happened in a matter of seconds during the first chorus of Brain Damage. I abandoned the track just as the words ‘I’ll see you on the…’ were entering my head. Just in time, my mood immediately returned to blinding euphoric goodness.
1:15am: I chat to people over the net, at the time I thought I was doing a good job in appearing sober. Later it appeared I hadn’t been that convincing! About this point I started considering sexuality; how humans determine and judge it, what my sexuality was and whether or not we are really anything higher than animals in this regard. I came to the conclusion that I was heterosexual but part of me at the time wasn’t pleased by this at all, I considered that most gay people I have ever known tend to be very individual and unique and thought this would be a good thing for people to aim at.
About this time I decided it was time to go to bed, accept I couldn’t sleep. After trying for what seemed like hours but was probably just a few minutes I returned to the computer, put on some happy melty music and returned to my previous euphoria.
2:00am: Time to try and sleep again, not that I was busy the next day…I just felt at the time pretty mentally drained. I put on my MP3 player which helped accept after about an hour the battery ran out and I was left with one song playing over and over in my head. A few hours of annoying head music later and I drift off into a pretty deep sleep.
The next day: I felt good the next morning but someone detached. Making the decision to be productive, I helped around the house all day. At this point I was glad I had tripped but didn’t really feel like I would do again for a very long time (I didn’t), it’s hard to explain why really as my experience was very fun and productive...i guess I just felt content. Over the next week I returned completely to reality and a passive happiness slowly built which lasted for months, this was an amazing feeling.
In summary I am very glad I did mushrooms when I did, I think I was at about the right age where I could take them responsibly and have fun whilst still learning something about myself. One of the main outcomes of the trip was being able to relate more to trip report, something that is difficult without any experience behind you. From browsing erowid (more than any actual experience) I developed a mental concept of infinite possibilities, nothing has limits and what we perceive to be limits are merely imposed by are normally restricted language, intellect and perceptions.
Since I started to write this I have experienced mushrooms again, almost exactly a year later, hopefully I will get around to a report on that to as it was in a lot more active environment!
Sweet dreams.
EDIT: Doh! I messed up the title format for a second time, sorry mods!
