Worst thing you have ever done?

andythetwig

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 7, 2003
Messages
2,126
About 5 years ago, my friend Nikki was married to this chap called martyn, he was a prizewinning phallus.

To cut a very long story short, he got her pregnant when she was 17, moved in with her when she got a house on the social because of the child, he got into tons of debt (in her name), he cheated on her and neglected his daughter blah blah. In the end she moved back to her (overcrowded) mum's with her baby, leaving him in the house with all the stuff that they bought on credit.

The csa were being numpties, even in such a cut and dry case, so I decided to pick up the shining needle of vengeance and stitch this cunt up.

Martyn was very into horror movies and fantasy. He would have been into d&d if he had any imagination at all... As it was the most he could manage were photos of himself cut & pasted into cack-handed fantasy paintings that he downloaded from the internet. Honestly, someone could do better using only their anus. He had these pictures on an online profile similar to myspace. This was my way in...

Reinventing myself as an 18 year old girl called Andrea, I emailed him, expressing my amazement at his art skills. I particularly praised the picture where he was posed standing above a naked elven princess with his arms outstretched, as if pouring healing "martynergy" into her.

He took the bait better than I could have imagined!

I strung him along for a couple of weeks while he tried to present himself as a single, rich, 28 year old successful estate agent (he was a sad, lonely, 24 year old night security guard at a leisure centre). This was loads of fun, with each email he wrote, the lies built and built, I encouraged him at every turn, asking for advice about my bisexual experiments with my girlfriends whilst building a collection of his most fantastic fibs and embarrassingly sordid efforts at cyber sex.

We even exchanged photos. I sent him a couple of picture of some nubile young madam not unlike the ones you find in the bluelight gallery. He sent me pictures of himself sitting in his daughter's nursery with his half-flaccid cock hanging out.

By this point, I had achieved what I had set out to do. I had shown him up as the deceitful and perverted shit that he really was, and I had proof that, given the opportunity, he would cheat on his wife, giving her absolute grounds for divorce. I should have stopped. But i just couldn't...

It was getting to crunch time. How could I keep this going without having to meet him? It wouldn't take long for him to get bored if I didn't. I needed to step it up a gear or get out. Obviously, I had come this far, and spent quite a lot of my precious work time on the daily emails and msn conversations so I decided to let him make the decision for me. I wrote a long, tragic email to him about how I was actually a 14 year old girl and had been impersonating an older girl to impress him, and that I was really sorry for betraying his trust...

It didn't take him long to reply... far from taking the decent, law-abiding path, Martyn became even more enthused about "having" me at his place. It was around this time that I developed an obsession with washing my hands, and polishing my computer daily, as though that would get rid of the infected filth that poured out of my fingertips to keep this guy talking.

So, nothing gave me greater pleasure than to write one final email to Martyn, explaining the truth of the situation, that I was actually a police officer working in a specialist unit using the internet to entrap paedophiles.

The next day Nikki had to go back to the house to deliver a note from her solicitor. Apparently there was a pile of computer components scattered around the front garden. As far as I know, he still thinks he's on the sex offender's register, and lives in fear of a visit from the paedo squad.

And as for the photos... well, I'm sure they are drifting around Gaydar somewhere...
 
I had sex with my best friends girl in his driveway right after i dropped him off! lol he couldnt satisfy her like me ;)

Edit: For 8 year later report back
We're still best friends to this day, he still always tries to fuck my gf's though lol, dunno wtf happened to the girl
 
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I broke a powerranger of my cousin and put it back in his box with toys without telling him about it.

I felt worthless ever since :(
 
probably stealing my moms car and about 500 dollars(over a period of 5 months)
 
Bill said:
I had sex with my best friends girl in his driveway right after i dropped him off! lol he couldnt satisfy her like me ;)
fucking dick
 
delta_9 said:
probably stealing my moms car and about 500 dollars(over a period of 5 months)

You stole your moms car over a 5 month period... How does that work, then?
 
haribo1 said:
You stole your moms car over a 5 month period... How does that work, then?

He probably took it apart piece by piece, I'm guessing she noticed something was up when the steering wheel disappeared.
 
When I was about 10, I was at a neighbours house, he was about 7. He found a $2 coin on his driveway. I convinced him that the date on the back (1987) was the expiry date, and that the coin would be no good to him.

I then told him that i enjoyed collecting coins (as a hobby i guess) and he gave me the money.

*evil laugh* =D
 
Rated E said:
He probably took it apart piece by piece, I'm guessing she noticed something was up when the steering wheel disappeared.
the money was stolen over a 5 month period, not the car
 
delta_9 said:
the money was stolen over a 5 month period, not the car

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit... and you still didn't get it? 8) ;)
 
When i was about 14 i was walking by this little pond where a group of duck(s?) were floating around.

I picked up a rock and skipped it along the water hoping to hit one. After two failed attempted, the third rock hit a duck hard on the throat.

I stood there all sad watching the duck quack around for about two minutes before it.. stopped quacking. The other duck(s?) were looking at it, and then i could feel them all stare at me, an di figured this was when god was going to strike me down.
 
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