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Thread: A Conversation Between Father and Son

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    A Conversation Between Father and Son 
    #1
    Bluelighter Benefit's Avatar
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    "I killed a spider today Dad. Smashed it into paste.”

    “What for?”

    “Hate I guess.”

    “I don’t have time for this shit Arthur.”

    “Dad we need to talk.”

    “What about? I’m busy.”

    “Just life the universe and everything in it.”

    “Later.”

    “I’d rather talk now. Mom’s going to leave you.”

    “That’s not true and it’s none of your business.”

    “What world are you living in?”

    “The same fucked up one as you.”

    “Why are you so unhappy?”

    “Don’t tell me what I am Arthur. You don’t have a fucking clue.”

    “Your wife’s about to leave you and your kids hate you. You have no friends and nobody wants to be close to you because you’re foul. You stink of failure and rotten dreams, and you corrupt the air every where you breathe. It doesn’t have to be this way.”

    “I don’t have time for a life lesson right now son.”

    “Make time. You might learn something if you listen for once instead of talking. You can’t remake the world in your image by yelling at it. You can’t reassemble me using the broken pieces of your life. It won’t work Dad. It’s a pipe dream, a husk. It’s lifeless.”

    “What the fuck are you telling me this for Confucius? Take your three penny fortune cookie advice and stick up your ass. I don’t need to hear this shit from a fucking cocksore kid who thinks he knows everything there is to know because he ran away from home twice. Let me tell you something Arthur, you don’t know a fucking thing. You don’t know what it’s like to default on a loan and have diarrhea for three days because you can’t sleep at night. Have you ever been overcome by a sinking feeling of horrified delight when your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant and she’s keeping the baby? Have you sat next to your father and held his hand while his bloated face turned purple and he choked back the pathetic remnant of his life and swallowed it like a golf ball? What the fuck do you know about life? Do you know what it’s like to hit rock bottom, and climb back out again only to have your legacy defined by a thankless brat who throws everything you ever did or didn’t do back into your face so he can cling to some vestige of moral superiority? What do you know about these things Arthur?”

    “I know you were a bad father.”

    “And so what? I was the only kind of father I knew how to be.”

    “That wasn’t good enough.”

    “I can’t change that.”

    “No.”

    “What do you want Arthur? You want me to say I’m sorry? I’m not sorry. I didn’t hug you, I didn’t listen to you? Is that it? What do you want me to do now?”

    “Nothing.”

    “Then what the fuck are you wasting my time with this shit for?”

    “When you die friendless and alone, I want you to know why. If you end up hanging around for a while as a ghost, I want you to know why there’s no one at your funeral.”

    “You’re so morbid. It’s disgusting.”

    “Grow up.”

    “And don’t kill anymore spiders. You’re upsetting a delicate balance.”
     

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    #2
    Bluelight Crew (Wordy)'s Avatar
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    Nice dialogue! There's a strong sense of personality, and the last lines from the father seal it for me.
     

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    #3
    Bluelight Crew
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    I dont remember if i said this before but your tone reminds me in some ways of john updike (which i aint gonna lie, theonly reason i know his work is because of one short story of his that i read in school once.) but i dont know if that makes what im sayin less valid or not.

    still i like your style cuz its the detached, descriptive, aloof but kinda still vulnerable style that stupid gothic emo 23 year old college english major students only wish they could have. you pull it off right. oh well i dont really belong criticizing literary stuff so ill be out but thats my (useless) 2.
     

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    #4
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    lostNfound's Avatar
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    awesome.
     

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    #5
    Great stuff. That last line is a killer
     

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    #6
    Bluelighter Raz's Avatar
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    That was really effective...you did a great job of establishing character with only dialogue, which isn't easy - by halfway through I had a really clear visual of these two people in my head. Good work!
     

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    #7
    Bluelight Crew up all night's Avatar
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    I don't understand why people feel the need to kill spiders. Their webs are crazy-beautiful in the morning and really, if a creature that big can pack enough punch to kill a human I think they deserve more than the heel of our foot.

    I was going to comment on this earlier but didn't really know what to write. Maybe the Dad is right though, what does a cocksore kid know about life?
     

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    #8
    Bluelight Crew (Wordy)'s Avatar
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    Spiders are absolutely incredible creatures! They have a habit of finding their way into my apartment. I let the little ones go about their business, but I capture the heavy artillery in a glass and let them loose in the garden.
     

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    #9
    Bluelight Crew Samadhi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raz
    That was really effective...you did a great job of establishing character with only dialogue, which isn't easy - by halfway through I had a really clear visual of these two people in my head. Good work!
    Agreed! I could even picture the surroundings! I really liked it
     

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    #10
    im going to send this to my friend; its his life story.... at least @his relationship with his padre

    also, i enjoyed the way you presented both sides of the issue--i found myself siding with the father in the argument.
     

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    #11
    Bluelighter Mysterier's Avatar
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    ^agreed.

    good stuff.
     

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    #12
    Very good. I expected the father to go limp and be battered by his son's abuse

    but he swam out of it quite well
     

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    #13
    Bluelighter Mary Poppins's Avatar
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    ^ yeah i like that he didn't cave and maintained some of the power (im?)balance

    nice. i fucking suck at writing dialogue so i appreciate people who can
     

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