you fucking slut.

drea

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 29, 2000
Messages
2,212
I must have forgotten my morality that night.
I must have forgotten what a lady was,
How I was meant to pose,
Smile and laugh at your deft, laughable words.
And remember, that it could never, ever
Be your fault as well.
“Fault” being the operative word….
Because apparently those actions were wrong…
I’m not meant to hold someone,
Or fall.
And I’m not meant for your admittedly meager offerings.
You silly girl.
Be a proper lady, goddamn you.
Compose yourself, give it value.
Value? I wonder.
Value to an idea made so worthless by your own actions.
From natural impulse to mindless, stupid events.
You fucked him didn’t you?
…wait….why do you care?
Oh, because he thinks you’re trash now.
Trash?
….yeah, a one night stand…trashy…
You know what kind of people do that kind of shit don’t you?
Yeah…
Me.
I’m sorry?
I didn’t think it was going to happen like that…
I thought…. I thought…..That maybe this time….
It was real?
Jesus, you did it again!
Why do you let them step all over you like that?
How fucking stupid are you?
Well, shit.
I suppose I should apologize for my actions that have nothing to do with you.
I suppose I should fail to recognize that I’m human, and oftentimes,
Quite weak.
So how many times is this now, when you come to me with these stories?
The same few, over and over….
Each time a fluke, you tell me.
But yet, you continue.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Don’t you realize that they’ll never respect you?
Respect? I wonder.
What the fuck is that?
Do you have a dictionary on you, perhaps?
From close friend
To a mere first-named boy I don’t recall the face of…
One repetitious pace I follow.
Doesn’t it bother you?
Fuck, of course it does.
Did you honestly think it didn’t?
Do you think I enjoy this?
Sure, hopping from one horrible thing to another, yeah….
Love it.
Sure I do.
You know what? Fuck you.
Seems I’m fallible.
Seems I possess a flaw.
Oh no.
Oh dear sweet god no.
Seems that I've followed
(Behind the rest of the entire world)
A path aimed for finding love.
Hmm..love.
I almost forgot what that feels like.
Yet it’s me, just me.
The downfall of the universe,
A prime example of what you should never look for in a girl.
A girl who craves touch and thought,
And girl who goes out and gets it.
You should never,
Ever,
Call her in the morning.
You keep that girl shut off.
You revel in her when no ones watching.
You make promises to her,
And she falls.
She doesn’t know you’re dishonest.
You can paint her guilty in the morning,
One more thoughtless, stupid girl.
Your ass is covered, and she’s dumb to the proceedings.
She thinks you’re innocent.
She thinks you’re the one. The last one.
Jokes on her.
She’ll be spent just as soon as you were….
That should pretty much be common knowledge by now.
Certainly there has to be something about you that keeps them running.
Perhaps they can smell the intention on you.
Sniff you out and figure out how to eek it out of you.
You need to change.
Don’t you know what people say about girls like you?
Yeah, I do.
My name on repeat.
…It’s got a ring to it, after all.
 
Note: In addition to the heart icon, I wish to use a second one: the thumbs up icon. :)
I really really liked the format (as well as content :) ) of this poem -- the dialogue aspect works really well, especially when it is not entirely clear whether it is another person or the author doing the berating.
I have felt almost exactly like this at times...as a girl who has had one night stands and who likes sex for sex...and also as a girl who has gotten fucked over for surrendering her body too soon. It's not fair or right but it happens all the time...Some people may assume that sexual girls aren't emotional -- but oh how wrong they are. So wrong. I was feeling alot like you do know prior to dating my current (wonderful!) bf.
'Compose yourself, give it value.
Value? I wonder.
Value to an idea made so worthless by your own actions.'

So true...why is all the blame, or shame rather, heaped on the female? Again, so unfair...
'I thought…. I thought…..That maybe this time….
It was real?'

Why is it that having sex on the first date automatically implies (for so many) that a relationship of some sort could never evolve? Why do we (always have to) attach so much goddamn importance to sex?
'I suppose I should fail to recognize that I’m human, and oftentimes,
Quite weak. '

Having a heart, and for that mattter, having a libido, is NOT a weakness. It is a strength, a great strength. YOU are better because you have it...THEY are missing out. But I'm sure that you know this, at least on some level.
'Seems that I've followed
(Behind the rest of the entire world)
A path aimed for finding love.
Hmm..love.
I almost forgot what that feels like.'

All I can say, is that I've been there. Many of us have. But you will get yours, you will find love again...
'A prime example of what you should never look for in a girl.
A girl who craves touch and thought,
And girl who goes out and gets it.'

Why is this STILL such a taboo in our culture? Again I am angry, but also sad. It prevents so many of us, both women AND men, from being fully happy and free.
'You make promises to her,
And she falls. '

I HATE this. If I could I would use that red angry face icon right now...Deception is so WRONG and so cruel...and it happens because these men are cowards, they HAVE TO play these games because they are too weak to be upfront with you. And you know, if they WERE upfront with you, you might still sleep with them (or I know that in certain cases I would have)...and then at the very least, you would not let yourself become emotionally involved (during those times when such was a possibility).
[ 06 July 2002: Message edited by: fairnymph ]
 
drea you are just so wonderful!
Seems I’m fallible.
Seems I possess a flaw.
Oh no.
Oh dear sweet god no.
this stood out for me so much. people need to realise that noones perfect, and that goes for realising it in themselves too. youre writing is so great. thank you once again for posting on here, the feelings and insights I get from reading your work always touch me more deeply that you would know. thank you.
 
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there really is nothing wrong with a girl who likes to have fun, alot. But as you said, no one respects them...
Be a proper lady, goddamn you.
Compose yourself, give it value.
Value? I wonder.
Value to an idea made so worthless by your own actions.
Have ya ever slept with a girl the first day u met her? Ever think "wow ur hot and cute and nice and all, but DAMN if im ever going to have one ounce of respect for you!" Im going to become a recycled virgin now...
 
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your words are so fierce, so powerful, so captivating...
and you are so brilliant drea.
 
God drea, your writing is always so powerful and alive.
Amazing work.
 
You can paint her guilty in the morning,
One more thoughtless, stupid girl.
Your ass is covered, and she's dumb to the proceedings.
She thinks you're innocent.
She thinks you're the one. The last one.
Jokes on her.
She'll be spent just as soon as you were...
This really struck me :(
Of all the distaste for society I feel now, it is heartening to look around and see that there is still humanity and understanding individuals left to be found in the world.
Peace and hugs to all.
 
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Thank you.
After reading your words, why do I often feel so goddamned happy to be a woman?
 
Stunning. Absolutely fucking stunning. I'm...well...stunned.
Totally amazing piece drea. Well done.
 
they should be putting that shit in 10th grade english textbooks i would have payed attention for sure
 
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