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Australian GLBTI Bluelighters thread. Come outa the closet!

Flaunting It

To add a bit of topic of conversation....what's everyone's thoughts on gay people 'flaunting it'?

To me, there's absolutely fuck all wrong with public displays of affection between two men or two women or a man and a woman or for that matter a bunch of people. When I was with my ex, we had lots of physical contact in public...and I don't mean like dry rooting on the tram, but we would walk around hand in hand, not be scared to kiss each other hello or goodbye, that kind of thing.

We're constantly confronted by images of heterosexuality, and there's no getting away from it...which is fine and I don't have an issue with it. It doesn't bother me that you can see straight people kissing on billboards, in magazines, on tv and in movies...as I said there's nothing wrong with affection and I think it's something which should be celebrated.

It does bother me though that there's a segment of the population who will quite happily tolerate the presence of queer people as long as we're kind of quiet about it and do all that icky kissing and hugging in private where we're not going to offend anyone.

I understand that for a lot of people, it is confronting. One of my best friends never saw me kiss a guy until she'd known me for 4 years and it shocked her because in her own words, she realised I was gay all along but had never put that connection in her head that it means I'm attracted to men. She never saw it as something which was wrong though, just something she'd need to get used to. And I'm fine with that. I don't expect the rest of the world to be raised in a society where homosexuality is seen as a bad thing and then for people not to have an issue with seeing it in front of them. I do fully expect those people to learn to accept it though and to fight the conditioning which tells them that two people in love is a bad thing.

There's a difference between tolerance and acceptance, and I think a lot of people who would argue that they're completely accepting maybe need to learn what that difference is.

If I kiss a guy on the street I'm not "flaunting" anything any more than the guy next to me is when he kisses his girlfriend....

Thoughts?
 
hmm...good questions raz :)

i have absolutely no issue with gay people, male or female, openly displaying affection for each other. i do however take issue with anyone, gay, straight or whatever, crossing that line and as you put it "dry rooting" or worse in public. i just think it looks common and cheap and really make me quite nauseous watching some kind of lurid sex show being played out when i'm trying to go about my daily affairs.

although, if i am at a gay club/event, it doesn't bother me in the slightest and my rationale for this is that because of some of the factors outlined in raz's post, heaps of gay people/couples don't feel they can express themselves to the extent that most heterosexual couples can in public...so because it's one of their only outlets, i can kind of see the need for it to be a little more....err....concentrated ;) at gay venues.
 
if in this example we say... two people wandering down the street, and it's:

a) woman + woman
b) woman +man
c) man +man

doesn't matter which combination you're a part of. just keep your pda subtle. :)
 
Raz said:
To add a bit of topic of conversation....what's everyone's thoughts on gay people 'flaunting it'?

We're constantly confronted by images of heterosexuality, and there's no getting away from it...which is fine and I don't have an issue with it. It doesn't bother me that you can see straight people kissing on billboards, in magazines, on tv and in movies...as I said there's nothing wrong with affection and I think it's something which should be celebrated.
Click to expand...


Interesting you should bring this up today... I was reading my uni newspaper this week, in which they had the second part of a liftout compiled by the queer society. Last issue's liftout had a number of pictures on the cover of same sex couples doing normal affectionate things like kissing, holding hands, hugging etc. This was done for the very reasons you talk about above... to counter the overabundance of heterosexual images of affection that we see everyday.

Sadly, some people took offence to it. They received several letters of complaint from people who questioned why such images need to be made 'public'. It seems to me to be a bit like the racist debate. I.e. I'm not homophobic, but...

-As long as it's not my family member or friend.

-As long as 'they' don't try to come on to me.

-As long as it's behind closed doors.

Like MP said, I'm not a fan of excessive sexual behaviour by anyone in the street, but I have no probs with gay couples openly expressing their affection for each other, whether it be by kissing, walking arm in arm or whatever :)
 
electreauxbella said:
Shall we save ourselves until the next good vibes & carry on the tradition??

;)
Click to expand...

Sounds like a plan ;)

Traditions where I end up getting some are always a good thing ;)

CB :)
 
Wow, I didn't realise how long ago it was that I started this thread, definetly due for a bump.

BUMP!

I have just moved to melbourne, I moved here (ironicly) to be with a girl I met but after a couple of months with her I realised that I am still as gay as I ever was and while woman are ok, I prefer the real thing =D

So, is there an G&L BL'ers here? I havn't found melbournes scene yet but if the difference between sydney and melbournes gay scene is anything like the difference between sydney and melboure it will be:

Clean
Not pretentious and full of tossers
Clean
Fashionable
clean
Friendly
clean
Not overpriced to all fuck

And clean!

Any Bluelighters around my age who can introduce me to whats where is?
 
on pda - i always got really pissed off when i got weird stares just holding hands with my gf .... oh the controversy! pfffttt

on the "scene" - i hate that gay clubs tend to me "meat markets" and that it's quite incestuous but i suppose thats what you expect when you are a minority in a sexuality and you only have a certain amount of people to "choose" from so to speak
 
I'm not sure "a minority in a sexuality" really captures what you had intended to say. And I really don't think that has anything to do with it; guys are just slutty. My profound 3,333rd post.
 
streetsurfer said:
I havn't found melbournes scene yet but if the difference between sydney and melbournes gay scene is anything like the difference between sydney and melboure it will be:

Clean
Not pretentious and full of tossers
Clean
Fashionable
clean
Friendly
clean
Not overpriced to all fuck

And clean!
Click to expand...
Yoinks, don't hold your breath..! 8o

The major difference between Sydney and Melbourne's gay scene is that there are more guys in Sydney and that they are on average hotter imo...

Melbourne's gay scene is just as rank as Sydney, it just ain't as big...though I will say one good thing about it, it's definitely not as expensive.. :)
 
I'm a Melbourne gay boy who doesn't go out so much... but is looking for cool new clubs to visit. And suggestions? Something friendly and preferably hard (pardon the pun) house/trance?
 
I'm heaumeaux. And yeah, I hate the scene. I mean, I don't mind my once-every-three-month visits to Oxford St because I'm going for a drink with people or it's just a more convenient place to catch up, but I'd avoid it like the plague if I could. I hate pretentious people, and thus hate most gay men. And because all my friends are straight and I don't live anywhere near SlurryFern, I really just don't relate very well to other gay men. But being single sux so recently I put up a profile on the big gay online profile things...slightly starting to regret it.

But I do like the sex part ;)

And as for PDA's, I'm a fan of them, but I love more subtle ones...like, standing at the lights and brushing your hand against your partner's, stuff like that. I'm more into showing m partner I'm keen-as on them than the rest of the general public. :D
 
^Take down your profile. Immediately. Gaydar is nothing but guys into cock-n-run. My profile specifically stated, "don't message me if you are after casual sex." And yet, every single message started with "you're cute - if you want to hook up some time let me know."

I ended up sending those people random messages like, "The rain in Spain is nice." They usually pissed off 8) 8)

I'm all into PDA's. In fact, I would find it difficult to date a male who was not comfortable displaying their affection in public. If I love someone, I want to be able to demonstrate that, without making my partner feel uncomfortable. There is obviously a difference though between PDA's and dry-sexing in public :)
 
^ Haha I decided to just see how it would go, and thus far it's been a decent reception. I don't bother messaging guys because too many are on there just to get stars and flames and be worshipped. But after being single for 4.5 years and having not dated for half of that, I thought that I should explore avenues again and it seemed the best of the worst places to start.
 
I personally would rather chew on some gravel than have some hook-up with a sleazy gay guy off that site, but hey, good luck to you then :)

I think i prefer celibacy.
 
Ew I don't do the casual-sex-from-Gaydar thing. It's more a way to meet guys to go for coffee or dinner or whatever.

Like I want people who are on Gaydar to come into my home and touch my things. I'd need to frisk them on the way out to make sure they're not scampering away with the silverware.
 
I thought there were no gay guys at work. Turns out they're all gay. And my supervisor was drunk and tounging my neck and biting my ear last night. I'm gonna ask for a raise.
 
Would the raise work on a sliding scale? Like, ear tongue and bite gets you $20 a week, dry root gets you $100, etc?
 
^ Fingers crossed, eh ha ha

MR Candyslut said:
was this the same one that complimented on you being a really good employee :)?
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No, the neck-pashing guy works under the chick that complimented my competence :) It would be wrong to cash in on the oppertunity... Unless his partner's hot, then I'm sleeping my way all the way to the career bank.
 
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