This is the first draft a trip report written about 23 hours after ingestion of an unknown dosage of 2,4,6-trimethoxyamphetamine (TMA-6) (and revised 48 hours after ingestion). Estimated dosage was between 35mg and 70mg of the chemical. Gelcapped powder was swallowed on an empty stomach, then an eggplant parmesan sub was ingested immediately thereafter just because it looked tasty.
T+1:00 starting to feel slight chills/tingles like MDA. drank some distilled vinegar out of the bottle, sucking on fresh limes.
T+2:00 not much more
T+2:15 talking to a coworker on aim, he's up this late and can't sleep, we decide to meet up downtown and take a walk through the woods.
T+2:30 took a shower, felt so fresh and so clean when i was done.
T+2:50 coworker bails on me because his friend needs him to run the camera for some high school video project. oh well, i'd probably scare him after a while anyways.
T+3:00 everything starts dripping with thick gooey meaning. this is the peak. i'm using the computer, listening to someone shoutcast some shit like death in june and accept, talking on irc. suddenly everyone is talking about really creepy shit. i'm on a bunch of different irc servers simultaneously. some people are talking about mad max world, there's old ladies being stabbed and carjackings and what not in vancouver. they're talking about how when the oil runs out everyone's going to go on a brutal rampage of insanity.
T+3:05 talking to my real friends on irc, i suddenly find it hard to believe they're other people. not just them, but it becomes hard to put faith in the fact that if i look in another human's eyes, i'm not just looking into my own. seem to be experiencing telepathy, prodding conversation out of people without typing, just thinking. everything everyone says seems to be either demonic and foreboding, or nonsensical and full of archetypes.
T:3:10 irc gets like this a lot when i'm peaking on a psychedelic. everything gets dark, drippy, hot like we're all in hell. i can no longer interpret language correctly, anything i read seems to be some damning statement meant to frighten and titillate me. google news doesn't seem all that odd, but some of the pope news is weird. thinking of zombie pope rising from the dead as the new antichrist, throngs of devout catholics swarming in to the vatican to worship him.
T:3:20 head out the door
T:3:25 the sounds of nature are intense. trees, fish, frogs, and the wind make it sound like i'm walking through an amazingly vibrant and living forest. worrying about monsters with jagged teeth who want to tear me limb from limb, slowly. came up with the thought "when you're alone in the woods, the only thing you have to fear is yourself". repeated it as a mantra a few times, giggled sinisterly.
T:3:30 waterfall. there's a tiny dam beside the path i'm walking down, with a lot more water than usual rushing over its lip because the snow's melting in this area. the roaring of the waterfall and the echoes caused by the geometry of the reservoir and structure around it start amplifying themselves as i listen. i start to hear a recursive feedback loop within the natural sounds. the feedback gets louder and louder, it's this beautiful/surreal cosmic sirens, bells, ringing, pulsating, whirring noises. if you could imagine what a really comical UFO landing would sound like, you would have at least a basic understanding of the types of noises i'm hearing. i've heard them time and time again, though, so they bring with them nostalgia and acceptance. have to look up at the sky to make sure there's no flying saucers hovering over me though.
T:3:40 i've gotten far enough away from civilization down this bike trail i'm on that the woods are getting darker every 100ft. moonlight now baby. every tree branch is dripping with sin and despair. the ground's gurgling with disgust. the snow's crisp, piercing, and bitter. it's the most pure thing i can sense around me, but while pure it's simultaneously deadly.
T:3:45 hahah jesus a frog or something popped out of the water, it was so damn loud, and it happened behind me when i was least expecting it. i almost jumped out of my body. i kept walking.
T:3:50 the most surreal non-hallucination i've seen in ages. i'm only a few hundred yards from a main road, but outside of what i saw now there are NO traffic lights in my entire town. here i came to an intersection of the bike trail, and a small dirt road with a bridge 50ft away from the intersection opposite the direction of the main road. at this intersection, facing the main road, are two traffic lights, one on each side of the dirt road. they're both stuck on green, never changing. the green glow is eerie and beautiful. why the hell are the only two traffic lights in this entire town, side by side on a dirt road in the middle of the woods??? i slowly got past the lights, checking them out from different angles in amazement.
T:4:00 this entire time i've been walking through a metaphorical hall of mirrors. everyone i've ever known or read of or seen on tv, fictional and real characters, friends and family, start to blend into one another. news headlines made of characters who are blends of different aspects of various friends/celebrities/politicians keep popping up in my mind. television shows with cartoon versions of my friends. i become a cartoon character, the electricmagnetic radiation of the cathode ray guns which give me form generate an amazingly warm body buzz. AM I EVIL?
T:4:05 my eyes begin tearing up and i'm crying lightly for a while after this. confusion and despair, joy and loss of control are all making me cry. i have so much empathy for the world if it exists, and i'm crying about the possibility of it not existing.
T:4:10 darker and colder the atmosphere gets, thicker and denser the forest gets, the farther i get into this trip. the universe is quickly cooling down, approaching absolute zero. this progression in temperature mirrors the psychological path my thought process follows, as my thoughts are getting more sinister and hostile each step.
T:4:15 i sat down on a rock. it's been too cold for me to want to stop moving, even though i'm wearing gloves and a hat in april, but this rock looked like a good place to relax. when i get up off the rock, i see a light not too far away, towards the direction of the main road, which has curved away to become more distant from the path than it was earlier. the trees are extremely tall here, they seem to be reaching for the stars, seeking abduction from the cosmos above. when i reach the light i remember it's a boat museum, which certainly isn't open at 3am. i turn around. the way back to the rock i was just sitting on takes forever. every time i look back at the light to see how far i've gotten, i've barely moved. i'm thinking about the cosmic joke that is reality, giggling maniacally. thinking back, at this point my mind looked like a circus with crystalline clowns doing acrobatics and twirling fire in every corner and recess. freak shows and mutants are everywhere, and they are my past, present, and future. nothing is REAL! WHAT THE FUCK?
T:5:00 i get back home. like i said, when you're alone in the woods, the only thing you have to fear is yourself! there's a clandestine gathering in my head. discussing the depolarised membranes of a drunk brain on irc now. everyone starts playing with a 'russian roulette' script on irc, and it takes on massive significance. one person keeps pulling the trigger and *click*, no bullet, but everyone else keeps dying over and over. she can't seem to off herself. is this attempted suicide by her? by myself? am i her? someone else dies, when the bullet fires the person's roulette script kicks them from the channel. i immediately worry he was just annihilated from reality and is now dead. takes me a second to realize that makes no sense.
T:5:15 pronoia, ego loss, everyone is reading my mind, intense doubts about the existence of anyone but myself. PLEASE help me believe i'm not the only real person on earth. change my mind about this, does it matter if anyone's real? am i real? probably not, who cares! fuck being real.
T:5:30 experiencing romantic love in whole new ways until the wee hours of late morning, until the sun rises in california. opened up new channels of communication long left unawakened. dealt with some serious issues of self-doubt and my lack of trust for the universe. most intense orgasm i've had in probably years.
T:9:00 i'm not very in touch with physical reality. it's all vague concepts juggling around playing with each other.
T+12:00 rockin out to slayer and being absurd and creative on irc, talking to a friend about my trip
T+15:00 go to work, no visuals, seem as baseline as i'll ever be after an experience like that!
This was the most emotional trip I can remember having, and there were waves of overdramatic empathy on and off throughout the experience reminiscent of MDMA. I was thinking of injecting a smaller dose of TMA-6 instead of eating it, and I'm glad I didn't, the duration of this trip was perfect. I've tripped hundreds of times on dozens of psychedelics, and I have to say, this was within the handful of psychedelic experiences which generated a truly dramatic catharsis within my psyche. Thanks for reading this, I hope your future trips are as spiritually uplifting as this one has been for me.
P.S. I'm going to take photographs of those traffic lights sometime haha.