What are the telltale signs of a repressed homosexual?

[Seven Deep]

Later on, when he's confronted with the suspicion that he's gay, Rod sings a great little tune called "My Girlfriend, Who Lives In Canada." So that's one way to tell.

I do have a girlfriend in Canada.....

no wonder everyone where I live thinks I'm gay.

 

[FestiveCheez]

Is her name Alberta, who lives in Vancouver?
Does she cook like your mother and suck like a Hoover?

 

[Sweetpea]

*raises hand*

I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.

Teacher?

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

Re: *raises hand*

I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.

I'm all for that idea. Porn always clarifies the thought process

 

[Pure_XTC]

I think that would help me too...now what were we doing again?

gay porn

 

[Noodle]

I'm going to reiterate what some have said.

Some of you all that haven't been out and about in one of the many gay scenes just do not understand the diversity contained within them.

I mean, do you all know how many variations of the handlebar mustache and goatee there are out there?

 

[Noodle]

Therefore, by this logic, any man who can get deeply frustrated about something that doesn't involve pussy at all must not be completely batting for the same team.

Does this ring true with anyone here?

That is specious logic, at best.

 

[PlurredChemistry]

teacher teacher

I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.

Teacher?

we'll start with the basics...

besides 2 guys kissing is usually much hotter than hardcore porn (tho not always)

mmmmm stubble....

Homework assignment!

 

[RaverMadness]

Is your son gay?

 

[winterleaf17]

Need Help~

^^^
ROFL!

I have dated or been involved with 3 represssed homosexuals, so I seem to go for them or something!

Many things are very stereotypical but still hold grains of truth, such as a lisp and excessive hand movements while talking.

The biggest sign though, hands-down, is intense homophobia, especially if combined with any 'stereotypical' traits.

hi, im kinda new here and was just investigating this topic,i need your opinions/help about some person that im starting to have doubts with.

i've been to frequent sleepovers with a bunch of us guy-friends. yet there's this one guy who just is...well, indescribable. i don't openly proclaim my orientation to them, so they don't really know yet. my actions seem a bit evident to some, but they don't mind it, thus they tease me as very girly/feminine in most ways. (which kinda makes me a gay-icon). but of course with a lot of men, they play around, doing 'gay' stuff here and there, like 'doing' each other. it just so happens that these occur in our sleepovers. i join of course, in these sexual jokes, for fun. but this guy doesn't really participate like so. plus, i think he's overtly homophobic. once, me and my friends were in a table and talking about people coming out of the closet, and, i dunno, he kinda reacted and started shuddering, and my friend who started the conversation said, "Don't be such a homophobe.", and he kinda just fell silent, but we were chuckling or something. all the other guys are okay with homos. another instance is when my friend also talked about not supporting Democrats, or something bout that, that he doesn't support gay marriage. and then all of a sudden, that homophobe im talking about just blurts out after the statement, "I am totally against gayness." more evidences?

well, since i talked about how they see me as the feminine one here, i think this homophobe thinks im a total fag. so, whenever i compliment him, or kinda massage his back or whatever kind of contact, he just slaps me hard in everywhere, although his face doesn't show it. he displays it as "karate/taekwondo". im really getting annoyed coz the slaps really hurt now. but when i do the same things to the other guys, they respond in a sexual-manner joke, again(which should be normal for guys), and they're okay with it. and when the homophobe actually finds out the next morning he got hugged by any one in his sleep, he shudders a bit too much. and then at the most random instances, he just says "I like women". of course, everyone knows that men should like women. why on earth would he have to blurt it out everytime? that's how my suspicions started. my other friend again was talking about one topic, and after he finished, the homophobe just said "I'm totally not changing my status message...'I like women'.....

so i need all the radars out there to tell me: is he a repressed homosexual? please i need confirmation...coz i still have a crush on him.

certain contradicting factors: he plays drums (well, i can be interested in playing drums too..), he can play basketball (but he never instigates it, in particular, i've yet to observe his skills on the sport. that's about the only sport he actually plays.)

reply asap plz..thanks

 

[The Is]

Ok I want to attack the notion that people who are homophobic are likely to be repressed homosexuals.

That may make sense in the highschool dropout/ retarded level of society, but the repressed gays that make it to college know that stereotype and are more likely to force themselves to be cool with it or support 'gay rights' because they know hostility 'gives them away'

so basically anyone educated who brings up gay issues in unrelated conversation.

 

[EA-1475]

There are some homophobes who talk about their hatred of gays. Like, constantly. These are the closet cases and you can tell because they are just so fascinated by homosexuality.
But I've known other homophobes who find the topic of homosexuality utterly repulsive. When the subject is brought up, their face cringes like you kicked them in the nuts. These are the genuinely straight homophobes.

BTW, signs of a repressed homosexual? Top 3 signs...

3. You own a Madonna album which is NOT a Greatest Hits collection.
2. You are male and have highlights in your hair.
1. You know who Patti LuPone is.

 

[Jamshyd]

NSFW:

mmmmm stubble....

Quoted for stubble.

And, erm, yeah. 4-year-old thread is 4-year-old.

p.s. I don't know who Patti LuPone is... what does that mean?

 

[The Is]

^you're all the way gay

 

[toa$t]

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Café Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If yo u know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his girl in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mo n-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual
combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.

 

[GoddessLSD-XTC]

I'd say, if U don't feel like effing women even when ur on top of them and rock hard (like I used to be) . . . U may be Gay or Transsexual.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Ok I want to attack the notion that people who are homophobic are likely to be repressed homosexuals.

That may make sense in the highschool dropout/ retarded level of society, but the repressed gays that make it to college know that stereotype and are more likely to force themselves to be cool with it or support 'gay rights' because they know hostility 'gives them away'

so basically anyone educated who brings up gay issues in unrelated conversation.

yeah I've had closeted bi/gay men bring up gay topics like how they have gay relatives or gay coworkers out of nowhere in conversations.

This one guy (my dad's friend that's married to a woman and has kids) on April fool's day he told me how he came out to his wife as being gay and he was going to leave her and I honestly did believe him and then he said, "Yo I was just kidding it's April 1st!" 8)

This dude (my dad's friend) says he's "straight" but he looks like a dude that should do leather porn because he's that buff/muscular and he'll hit/flirt with me and he's almost 50 and has a body like that.

I've even had closeted bi/gay men get drunk and then hit on me, or ask for sex in straight bars or in all types of places. I'll flirt back or even just say thanks, and then sometimes they'll run away.

A lot of the closeted gay men I've encountered don't even know that they're gay.

 

[Jamshyd]

Since you took all that time to share your wisdom with us, I'll humour you. I realize you were joking (or at least, I hope), but I am always irked by "what makes a man" stereotypes.

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

So that makes Ronnie Coleman gay?

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

Ah, that explains why so many gay men have an obsession with dogs, and why for me and several other I know, a pic of a hunk playing with his dog is a turn on.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El dicko and undeniably a fag.

What about sucking on a cigar?

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

That explains glory holes.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Café Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

You sure know a lot more about what coffees gay people drink than I do

6. If yo u know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

I honestly have no idea what a "fressier" is. I had to look it up. Again, you seem to know much more about these things than I do...

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his girl in the passenger seat.

At least in Canada, you fail a driving test if you didn't have two hand on the driving wheel. A man without a driving license is kinda like a man with one ball, don't you think?

Also, any man driving with a beer in hand deserves to be raped in a dirty prison cell.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mo n-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual
combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.

SHC, omg that's so funny!!!!!!1111one

 

[Noodle]

toa$t is well on his way to receiving an honorary gay card.

I'll even throw in a Blu-Ray version of The Sound of Music.

 

[The Monkey Mantra]

Toast, yer post made me LOL all over the floor. I do have the gym obsession, the washboard stomach, etc... but I like my coffee black, piss all over the place, am a shitty driver, and hate romantic comedies. I love the million and one ways you used to say "you're gay", though.

Oh, and, yeah, the stubbly kiss pic was hot as hell