The beauty of comedowns.

mashead testing

Bluelighter
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Mar 18, 2001
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Once again I lay in bed on a monday trying to make myself sleep and pass the time that felt like I was part of nothing, with the drum and bass pounding out of the speakers trying to disguise my thoughts that maybe the world isnt so perfect afterall and the drugs have been washed away out of my body leaving me less than content.

Questions, so many of these questions, normally too many questions but now? Everything is a question and every answer is a doubt or a cause for tears. Fearing the worst I decide to stop thinking but stoping thinking reminds me of thinking and thinking is where the problem lies.

Switch on tv muted, pictures dashing across the screen but what do they mean? Is there messages hidden somewhere in the narrative? Are these adverts really trying to make me feel sad or is it just the lack of ambition and focus or recognition I am feeling that is weighing me down.

Coversation? I never thought it would be so difficult, so many words but just phrases, all been said before and nothing thats worth saying again. Been done before but like the last time its the same. Could be seen as an adventure or a journey through the mind, sometimes enjoyable but too easy to let it all get out of hand.

Everything seems to lack in its shine, the words make too much sense from the songs I am listening even the way the birds chirp outside shows me that there is something im missing, but what?
What could I be possibly missing so much? If I think hard enough I realise I have more than enough, infact much more than some, theres so many people who will never be here and never experience what I take for granted, so many people who live a life that is tragic. But I find it in my self absorbed mind to lay here and worry and feel my life is shit?

I think we can forget sometimes and thinking too much is the worst of crimes, everyone lets everything become too much and think they have so little, but im just stuck in the middle. I have so much but not yet enough, tell me is this just the drugs?

So as I discover realisation, again. I look for why I let this happen, not sure of these reasons but everything happens for a reason. So I guess to come up then go down and eventually realise whats between the lines, isnt so bad afterall.

Just makes sense when I think this has made me stronger and even though I know I will go through it again without thinking, empathy is a quality that to my life its bringing.

I love comedowns, they show me more than I could ever imagine and make me realise whats more important in this world, without come downs we would never learn.
 
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Fearing the worst I decide to stop thinking but stoping thinking reminds me of thinking and thinking is where the problem lies.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I'd wag fingers and make tutting noises but I'm in no position to do so. So instead just know that I'm always rooting for you - just an admiring virtual fan looking on at the madness from the other end of the copper wires that is the medium for all our social interaction.
Stay cool bob - you know that I think you're one of the good guys.
Geezer :)
 
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More people should think this way :)
Fearing the worst I decide to stop thinking but stoping thinking reminds me of thinking and thinking is where the problem lies.

Not meaning to loose the point of this thread. That quote reminds me of a game I was told about at the weekend... The only rule of the game is that you're not allowed to think of the game. If you think about it, then you've lost. In fact, I just lost :(
Hahahaaa, this is gonna bug you for the rest of your days! You will forget about it and then one day someone will say something (like bob did above) and you'll remember and go "SHIT! I lost!!".
I think I'm gonna re-read this post on Saturday when I wake up and then feel good about my comedown. Oh, and feel a bit shitter cos I'll loose the game again!
 
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Yeah the game........ thats from mixmag message boards, pretty fucked up I got to agree
I just lost!.
 
why do the best pills always have the worse comedowns, infact dont answer that.
other, grass, side, greener etc
i wish i didnt get the best pills
 
there is something im missing, but what?
What could I be possibly missing so much?
Serotonin? :D
Comedowns always get me wondering about what comes first...Neurochemistry or Psychological reactions...first go the chems and the mind follows? It seems that way. But then again a lot of times, a change in point of view (psychological) was enough to grant quite a rush...
Then I remember that's why I never want to study psychology or psychiatry... I know I would be obsessed about my brain all the time and would never be happy...
anyway rob...the best pills usually have the best comedowns for me! remember MDA has a shite comedown...they're not the "best pills" they're the "better feeling" pills...not the same :)
hope you're feeling better
 
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A song for you Mash, I know for me the only thing that saves me from bad comedowns is thinking EVERYONE has them, it's not just me that needs help, is a fuckup, should throw myself off a cliff, etc...
Comin' Down (Bleachin remix)
written by: Amos Pizzy & Gavin Rossdale
No, I don't wanna come back down from this cloud
It's taken me all this time to get high
But even as my heartbeat screams out loud
Sunlight breaks like glass in my eye
Where are all the people
Where have they all gone
The ones that said forever
We were going to carry on
Now I'm chilled cold alone
There's an aching in my bones
Tried to dial a nubmer, but I can't pick up the phone
I've got to reach out, touch somebody, anyone
Or stare point blank down the barrel of a gun
I kill a man stone dead
For a short of valium
But that ain't no place to hide
You know there ain't no place to run
There's a darkness in my soul
There's a darkness in my soul
There's a darkness in my soul
And I know it's going to come
No, I don't wanna come back down from this cloud
It's taken me all this time to find out what I need now
No, I don't wanna come back down from this cloud
It's taken me all this all this time
Now me, myself and I
Have to sit and work it out
There's nothing to be sure of
Cause my heart is full of doubt
Where I'm going, where I've been
Who I've loved and who I've lost
It was suck a wicked high
But there's such a wicked cost
Big night life scene, hedonism extreme
It only takes a line
To make a nightmare from a dream
With every fear intensified
Every problem analysed
God and the devil
Through the same pair of eyes
If I hold on I can make it
If I hold on I can make it
If I hold on I can make it
And I know it's gonna come
 
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Shit. I lost the game *again* and I was doing so WELL!
Glad you bumped that Mash, its an excellent piece of writing :)
 
embrace the comedown, there is immense beauty in self pity.
 
Originally posted by Medi57:
embrace the comedown, there is immense beauty in self pity.
I find no immense beauty in self pity.
 
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Originally posted by bluemunki:

I find no immense beauty in self pity.
look harder. It is all your fault.
accept this.
 
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