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This is the "I was CAUGHT masturbating thread" Share your stories

kennyseven said:
Son, thats really too bad, it must be difficult to work or do many things with sore wrists like that. I think you should file for "Permanent Disability". If you apply and are excepted you will never have to work again in your life and they could pay you upwards of 1800.00 dollars a month, maybe more. Not a bad piece of change for doing "fuck all." You just have to convince a panel of people that you can't work because you fucked-up your wrists because you jerk off too much. Maybe you should try the "Pocket Pussy." Or try keeping your bunched up hand stationary, while using your hips to pump your cock in and out of your greasy fist. Just a thought.


kenny7seven

never thought of that... proabbly why i dont waste time chasing after girls. cause deep down inside i know if all else fails i got the internet, yea dont dog you know i got a foolproof plan
 
i dont get caught alot...been damned close alot, but my back is to the door, so i just adjust myself as they come in the room, very uncomfortable convos after that.

This summer, I got walked in on a few times with this chick, but the last few were so my friends could see her tits, she was sorta embarassed but I couldnt stop laughing. Dorm room, no lock. she's a bit of an exhibitionist/camera whore too so im pretty sure the sex was always better after that....not that the summer is that clear.
 
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hashish2020 said:
i dont get caught alot...been damned close alot, but my back is to the door, so i just adjust myself as they come in the room, very uncomfortable convos after that.

This summer, I got walked in on a few times with this chick, but the last few were so my friends could see her tits, she was sorta embarassed but I couldnt start laughing. Dorm room, no lock. she's a bit of an exhibitionist/camera whore too so im pretty sure the sex was always better after that....not that the summer is that clear.


Niiiice =D
 
LOL!!!

I was kind of wondering the same thing... Maybe he fell off a cliff? And wheres butros? He seems to be annoying enough to post something stupdly ridiculous in here.
 
One time, I wouldn't say I was caught, by my mom was snooping for drugs and found like 10 empty tubes of ky jelly haha.
 
i dont have drugs saved to be snooped...wish i did badly though. but i do have alot of paranphillia, suprisinly enough they havent noticed or they did but ignore the fact that there son does drugs
 
I havent been right out busted....well maybe.

When i was about 6 i discovered that if i rubbed myself it felt pretty rad. My family was pretty chill on stuff but we had never discussed masterbation, i also lived in a hick town so i guess i didnt know any better. One time i'm just chillin on the couch watching get smart and i decide i'm bored so i'm going to stick my hand under my pink courderoys and start rubbing myself...(i would stay above the undies though). Anyways i stop and then decide im gonna give my 4 year old sis advice, saying if shes ever bored to just stick her hand in her pants and rub herself, because its pretty fun. I thought it was harmless...like a game of basketball or something. My parents overheard me from the kitchen and were pissing themselves laughing.

When I was in 6 grade i'd come home early from school sometimes while my parents were at work...I'd take a hop in the tub and play with the shower head. Sometimes i'd let loose and start moaning....when i'd get out my parents would be home sometimes..they probably heard me.

Now when i was 17 my mum bought this electric lint remover thing....and when you turned it on it vibrated...so i'd use the handle to get myself off, it worked pretty well. I always put it back in the right place, however- one night i come home in a drunken horny stupor...and take it to bed with me. After i get myself off i was so exhausted i just passed out with the fucker in my hand. My mom wakes me in the early afternoon ripping the blankets off my bed, its laundry day she wants to wash the sheets. Lo and behold theres the lint remover, still in my hand. She asked why i had it there...i told her there was lint on my blanket??? lol:eek:
 
lol.. that is pretty funny

i got caught once when i was.. i dont know.. like 11 or 12 or something by my mom. i used to come home from school and find like some steamy scene on one of the soaps on tv and get off on it.. anyway my mom came home and came downstairs (which was like my area) so i cover up, flick the channel and she asks me how my day was. i'm like "yeah it was great thanks" not realizing that the blanket is tad too small. so she lifts it up and there i am all naked. god was that ever embarrassing. she gave me this dirty look, dropped the blanket and ran upstairs. think she was as embarrassed as me.. 8o
 
i was caught several times when i was much younger. a couple times by my mom and she told me i would get a disease if i continued to touch myself in "that way."

and once in pre-school during nap time; the counselor caught me and as punishment i had to stand on my bed while the other kids napped. damn Soviet Union cruelty.

i had shame issues with masturbation, which didn't fade until i was 18 or so.
 
My son is 15 months old and whenever his nappy is off he's going for it..
 
I've had the fortune of having acute hearing, and misfortune of snoopy parents, always wanting to know what I've been up to.

The only close shave I've had was a few years back when my mother decided that I was online too late at night, and it wasnt for study purposes (she had this thing about weekday computer use for recreation.) So she snuck towards my study. An executive-style computer chair saved me from being exposed, but I did have a rather hardcore video playing on the computer, muted.

Teaches me to leave the door closed to the room - it sorta mutes your hearing

The idea of getting caught is a turn on though. I don't particularly think it'd be much fun in itself though.

- moe
 
I was double taping some porno video from a mate as a lad around about 96' I had it all set up, two VCR (mine and my parents) in my room. Yes i was living with the olds. I set it up and went out foir a bit. I had a lock on my door so I thought I was safe.

Turns out my old man wanted to know why his VCR was gone and went looking for it. I come home and try and enter my room and the door slams shut. Then I heard my old man shout "Hang on" FROM MY ROOM !

He walks finishes up and opens the door and walks past me with his shirt in his hands.................we never spoke of it, EVER !

Winsom
 
^ ahhahahahaha oh man that's hillarious.

I got caught once by my friend but it was no big secret I was in there wackin it and he decided to pick the lock and bust the door in anyways. Bastards.
 
1 time I was so horney and I had such a long trip to work, but luckily I had my handy dandy vibrator, I was driving down the interstate headed towards work which was about 30 minutes away.
I was wearing a skirt and so I got this bright idea that I wanted to get off at least 5 times before I got work (it helps me relax).
I started driving with my knees and masturbating with my toy. I put the toy where I could just sit on it and move around.
I was hitting every bump, crack, and rock in the road! It was nice!
I was driving in the fast lane paying attention to the road staight ahead and getting off like boom boom boom.
When all of a sudden I glance in my rearview and notice I am getting pulled over the trooper was flagging me down. I was like DAMN.
What am I gonna do you know I was freaking out!
So I start to pull over and sure enough he stays behind me.
He gets out of the car and I am trying to reach down and turn the vibe off without him seeing!!
I dont know if he seen it but he asked how fast I was going and I said I didnt know and he said 110 in a 70!!!

I was like YIKES!
$50.00 fine and 2 points of my DL.
Glad I got outta that!!
 
you should have just pulled it out and smiled, he'd prolly let you of LOL
 
FaerieBum said:
I havent been right out busted....well maybe.

When i was about 6 i discovered that if i rubbed myself it felt pretty rad. My family was pretty chill on stuff but we had never discussed masterbation, i also lived in a hick town so i guess i didnt know any better. One time i'm just chillin on the couch watching get smart and i decide i'm bored so i'm going to stick my hand under my pink courderoys and start rubbing myself...(i would stay above the undies though). Anyways i stop and then decide im gonna give my 4 year old sis advice, saying if shes ever bored to just stick her hand in her pants and rub herself, because its pretty fun. I thought it was harmless...like a game of basketball or something. My parents overheard me from the kitchen and were pissing themselves laughing.

When I was in 6 grade i'd come home early from school sometimes while my parents were at work...I'd take a hop in the tub and play with the shower head. Sometimes i'd let loose and start moaning....when i'd get out my parents would be home sometimes..they probably heard me.

Now when i was 17 my mum bought this electric lint remover thing....and when you turned it on it vibrated...so i'd use the handle to get myself off, it worked pretty well. I always put it back in the right place, however- one night i come home in a drunken horny stupor...and take it to bed with me. After i get myself off i was so exhausted i just passed out with the fucker in my hand. My mom wakes me in the early afternoon ripping the blankets off my bed, its laundry day she wants to wash the sheets. Lo and behold theres the lint remover, still in my hand. She asked why i had it there...i told her there was lint on my blanket??? lol:eek:

omg.. i cant stop laughing =D
 
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