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PLEASE help me..I'm so scared..how could he do this? *Update page 4*

^You are probably right. The last few times we have seen each other we just can't keep our hands off each other. I ended up kissing Steve today like, right after kissing C last night. I'm turning into a lip slut. 8)
 
Don't judge yourself badly - it comes from caring.

It's just that it will be hard for you both to move on (or to have a proper break without pressure), while contact is frequent - and emotional.
 
Yeah...I don't really think either of us will move on. It will either get to the point where one of us gets mad at the other and we just stop talking for a little while, or we will get back together. I know he wants to get back together right now, but I know I can't.
I think it's kind of cool though...this letting go we are going through. Knowing he could kiss another girl if he wants and I can do the same, but we can still be there for each other. I like that.
 
You seemed determined to stay with this guy, which perhaps isn't the most productive option, but if you feel that this is what you have to do, then do it. However, you have to sure about your motives, i.e. why you arereally doing something. Ask yourself why you want to stay with him. Then ask yourself why. Then ask why to that question and then why to that one, etc. For each question, assume that your first answer to the "why" isn't true, or something like "besides that..." and then ask youself, what else could it be. Keeping asking why.

Example:

Q: Why do I want to be with Steve?
A: Because I love him.
Q: Why do I love him?
A: Because...(you have to answer this yourself, obviously). Let's just say because of X, Y & Z.
Q: Why should I love him because of X, Y & Z?
etc.

Q: Why do I want to be with Steve?
A: Because I love him.
Q: Besides loving him, what others reasons could I want to be with Steve?
A: Because of A, B, & C.
Q: Why do reasons A, B, & C.... you get the idea.

Pay attention to what A, B, & C as well as X, Y, & Z are, i.e. are these things that he does for you, things he does to you, qualities about him that are independent of you, things he doesn't do, things he is or things he isn't, etc. Writing this down helps with clarity of thought and helps to insure that you are actually answering the question.

To me, there's more to love than a just a feeling of something. To me, you love someone because of quantifiable qualities and traits. To me, things like "he cares about me", "he knows me", "he listens to me", "he pleases me sexually" "he buys me flowers", etc., are reasons to like someone, but not necessarily reasons to love someone. What are good reasons to love someone? I'm still working on that...

I think a lot of the times we have trouble moving on is perhaps that we fill remorse about the end of the relationship, we feel guilty about giving up, we feel that by moving on it means we have to stop caring about the other person.

Personally, I feel that you never really stop loving someone and you never really move on. Instead, you acquire an ability to better deal with it.

If you can answer this without sacrificing privacy, I'm curious, where did you come up with the name "mynameisnotdeja"? Is your name vu?
 
Haha...well I used to be DejaClaireVoyant...but then I lost my password and I tried all kinds of "Deja" names and Bluelight wouldn't let me be Deja. So I became NOTdeja...
I don't really want to "stay" with Steve...I mean, I don't want to be with him right now. I just love him and don't want to lose him from my life. Why do I love him? I mean...there is a list of reasons way to big to post here. He and I understand each other about things...important things that no one else has understood so far in MY life...he is a very special person with a lot of amazing things about him. There is so much about him I never could even write on here...it's too personal I guess...plus I'd be afraid it would jinx something or some shit...but yeah..he's just VERY special.
But for now, I am just trying to have fun in my life, and still see him...and he is enjoying his life with all his friends and other girls and stuff. I see no problem with that..no one can take us away from each other. Unless he doesn't want to know me anymore...and then I guess there would be nothing I could do about it.
 
I'm a typer. I hate writing stuff out with a pen and paper..it hurts my hand. Hehe..But I do have private entries in my lj that no one else sees....
 
*bump*

Archive please, This thread documents one of the most important turning points in my young adult life. :)
 
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