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The Suicide Support Thread

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Living has no appeal to me. I can't stand this cruel, fucked up world. Who would miss me if I died? Would anyone even be at my funeral? I fucking doubt it. I hate my life, the holidays, and this screwed up world.
 
Living has no appeal to me. I can't stand this cruel, fucked up world. Who would miss me if I died? Would anyone even be at my funeral? I fucking doubt it. I hate my life, the holidays, and this screwed up world.

You always have a chance to make a greater impact on the world, and you always have a chance to improve your life.

The community here would miss you; we grieve the loss of all of our fallen BL brethren. <3
 
even though i don't feel the withdrawals any more i still have suicidal ideations
 
You always have a chance to make a greater impact on the world, and you always have a chance to improve your life.

The community here would miss you; we grieve the loss of all of our fallen BL brethren. <3

Sometimes BL is the only thing that keeps me going...everyone has helped me so much and I Care about so many here.

It may sound odd because its an online forum...but it's a real place to me.
 
^That's not odd at all, hun. I feel the same way often.

I've met some of my closest friends and my boyfriend through Bluelight. There really are some great people here. It's a magical place. <3
 
i don't want to put up with all the bullshit anymore but i can't hurt my loved ones like that idk what to do
 
even though i don't feel the withdrawals any more i still have suicidal ideations

Well I'm glad to hear you're not going through the acute withdrawals! :)

You might be suffering from PAWS, which will last considerably longer, but in time you should feel better than you do now. Best of luck staying clean man.

Sometimes BL is the only thing that keeps me going...everyone has helped me so much and I Care about so many here.

It may sound odd because its an online forum...but it's a real place to me.

It's a real place to me too. :) You can always PM me if you want to.

I want to make this stop..

What's going on Abject?
 
Im sick of people fucking with my emotions, Im already in a really fragile state mentally, which pre mentioned people know but they carry on screwing with me and this is a supposed "best friend" i swear Im going to have a serious break down at this rate. my head is thrashed my pain is off the scale and Im just sick of this load of shit existence that is meant to be a life
 
i'm sick of life without drugs and my tolerance is so high that i spend most of the month with out my opioid drugs and xanax which are the only things that make me happy anymore don't know if that means i should quit or start selling drugs again to support my habit
 
i'm sick of life without drugs and my tolerance is so high that i spend most of the month with out my opioid drugs and xanax which are the only things that make me happy anymore don't know if that means i should quit or start selling drugs again to support my habit

Have you tried telling your doctor you are running out a few days early? You don't have to tell them how many days... maybe they can give you something you can still take every day that has a lower abuse potential or lower likelihood of gaining a huge tolerance, like tramadol?

I wouldn't suggest selling drugs. Just my 2 c.

I think the best thing would be to try to find things you love doing on the days you don't have your medications. Do you like video games Mr. Flowers? I'm a huge fan of Half Life, Counter Strike, etc. %)

If you like experimental music let me know, I just finished making a full length album in time for the new year. :D
 
i like going on hikes and fishing and hunting and playing guitar but i don't really do that stuff anymore i just don't have any motivation to do anything except get high but i should really try doing that stuff anyway maybe i'll become motivated
 
i like going on hikes and fishing and hunting and playing guitar but i don't really do that stuff anymore i just don't have any motivation to do anything except get high but i should really try doing that stuff anyway maybe i'll become motivated

I say you should at least give it a try again - if you don't like it you can always stop. It may make you feel better than you expected once you get into it <3
 
Sometimes BL is the only thing that keeps me going...everyone has helped me so much and I Care about so many here.

It may sound odd because its an online forum...but it's a real place to me.

Exactly this.

Thank you guys and BL for your support, it's helped me so much.

Hold on guys :) Hope everyone is doing okay!
 
as some of you know i was in a car crash on halloween and now the dicks insurance company is trying to give my g pa so little money for his car that he couldn't possibly afford a new one i'm so stressed almost killed myself today but then i took a long walk with my dad and i calmed down i hope we can get a new car for my g pa cause this summer my dads truck was stolen and totaled so we don't have a car atm
 
as some of you know i was in a car crash on halloween and now the dicks insurance company is trying to give my g pa so little money for his car that he couldn't possibly afford a new one i'm so stressed almost killed myself today but then i took a long walk with my dad and i calmed down i hope we can get a new car for my g pa cause this summer my dads truck was stolen and totaled so we don't have a car atm

I'm sorry to hear that man. I'll likely never own a car again because of a similar situation but I'm happy nonetheless.

I'm glad to hear a walk with your dad helped.
 
thanks man i'm really hating everything right now so the support is much appreciated
 
I'm completely fucked. Shit is running through my mind and won't stop. The Vicodin wore off so now I'm drinking malt liquor. Thought about slicing up my arms but I can't do that because it's almost Christmas and it would kill my mom if I were in a psych unit again. I feel sick and miserable. My emotions are out of control and I'm way too sober. I hate this.
 
thanks man i'm really hating everything right now so the support is much appreciated

No problem! :)

I hope you enjoy your holiday season Mr. Flowers. I know I am enjoying mine so far.

I made a new friend recently and that has cheered me up considerably.

I'm completely fucked. Shit is running through my mind and won't stop. The Vicodin wore off so now I'm drinking malt liquor. Thought about slicing up my arms but I can't do that because it's almost Christmas and it would kill my mom if I were in a psych unit again. I feel sick and miserable. My emotions are out of control and I'm way too sober. I hate this.

Drinking when you're upset often makes you more upset; so for harm reduction's sake, please don't drink anymore. Take some time to think about how you're feeling. Why don't you talk to your mom about how you're feeling? You can have some mother/daughter time eating ice cream while watching a movie, and before you know it, you'll feel better.

Much peace and love to everyone struggling this holiday season! I encourage anyone to send me a private message if you all would like.
 
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