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Did something stupid, is it "ruined" now?

When they're rolling, they just seem normal, not really euphorical at all lol. They obviously fucked their brains a lot.

That's how it got for me after a while.. I could talk to my parents rolling balls and be completely fine. Or roll in school and still do my homework :|



Fuck am I paying a large price for it though.
 
Eventually.. the first month after was REALLY hard though.

At this point, I would say I'm 60-70% of the "man" I once was, and that's a year/two 6 months breaks from MDMA later. I'm still able to roll, but I know if I were to abuse it in any way I 'll pay for it with a week or two of more severe depression. I've always been mildly depressed, but I've never actually considered killing myself before that abuse... now that thought can be quite common.


I feel for your friends though... I'm basically fucked now. My serotonin will probably never be able to FULLY recover, so I'll live the rest of my life hampered, struggling to keep myself positive. Maybe have your friend join the site and read this, because if I could have ONE do over in my life, it would be to use ecstasy safely.


You have no idea what it's like to feel like you can never live up to your full potential again........




Well, that was a downer of a post lol.
 
I never understood how people could roll at school, everytime I tried I ended up ditching class and going on highrides up to the lake with some girls enjoying the 1200 watt subs slap the bassline.

I think I've completely lost the magic, I doubt it will ever come back, and I don't think I'll even try MDMA again because I know it's not going to work, every time I've tried since stopping, the molly makes me feel good but nowhere near anything I'd call a roll. Ehh, TBH I've moved on.
 
Yeah, I probably fucked myself a bit with some stupid RC's... I'm super paranoid and I get panic attacks quite often. It's getting better now, and the panic attacks are always drug related...

I tried explaining this shit to them, but they don't really give a fuck. One of them actually admitted to me that he's addicted to E-pills and MDMA, he rolls every weekend or whenever he can. He said he can never have enough MDMA at his house.

Another aquaintance of mine said he used 140grams of mdma by himself one summer, and he never used mdma ever since. This guy, I never saw him laugh, make a joke, or smile even. He doesn't really care about anything other than to make money by scamming people with fake or weak DMT & other drugs like that. He's always serious & shit. I swear to god he NEVER ever made a joke, or laughed at one, at least not when I was around him.

Gee.
 
I tried explaining this shit to them, but they don't really give a fuck. One of them actually admitted to me that he's addicted to E-pills and MDMA, he rolls every weekend or whenever he can. He said he can never have enough MDMA at his house.

That is the saddest thing of all... I mean, I was using MDMA and methamphetamine together for long periods of time as often as I could, that makes a lot more sense for an addiction to come out... but just MDMA? Damn.

These people are going to pay a very high price for it :\ you just can't help some people though...



I think I've completely lost the magic, I doubt it will ever come back, and I don't think I'll even try MDMA again because I know it's not going to work, every time I've tried since stopping, the molly makes me feel good but nowhere near anything I'd call a roll. Ehh, TBH I've moved on.

Are you testing it? Like 6-8 months after my abuse, I tried rolling again with 100mg MDA and 50 or so of MDMA, best roll I've had since I started. But yeah, even then it seemed like something was "missing" from the roll.
 
How's your comedown buddy?

I gotta imagine it's even worse than how I used to feel after 72+ hour Mephedrone binges!!!

Don't be so silly next time! Of course your tolerance isn't ruined forever, but I'd say keep away for a few months. <3
 
Drugs (especially ones as powerful as MDMA) can leave permanent imprints upon your consciousness, but I think that for most people, there is always a path to recovery and a path towards self-actualization. You might not be able to achieve the same serotonin levels that you previously possessed, but the serotonin level, is really just a high and a sensation, and is independent of your ability to think abstractly and conceptualize goals. The problem most people have is the inability to separate their emotionality from their rationality, and when you binge on MDMA your short-circuited emotionality can infuse your everyday actions, making it impossible to rationalize and think clearly. If you were foolish enough to let MDMA fuck up your circuitry permanently, well that sucks, but get over it, don't make the same mistake, and think of other ways you can lead a fulfilling life. This doesn't have to be just emotional fulfillment, although I imagine that it is important for MDMA users (given the drugs nature), and other endeavors may not seem nearly as attractive in comparison, but once again, it is not close to the only way to lead a fulfilling life.

If Helen Keller can become a world-famous author/speaker you have no right to say that your previous binges on MDMA has prevented you from fulfilling your destiny ;D
 
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