reducing like this, I feel caused the least amount of fuss. The hardest part was dealing with my thoughts of it, this is where counselling is important I think. I managed to stay clean for about 8yrs, albeit I did get pregnant which helped me stay clean.
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I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will always be a drug user, and thats okay, so long as I control it and not the other way around, so getting back to the original question , yes there are success storys , I know mine was with methadone, good luck to anyone out there who chooses to use done, its not evil, its just how you choose to use it
Thanks for the feedback. I completely agree with you about the counseling bit - especially early in, although I find the opioid replacement therapy helpful in its own right, the counseling I'm receiving makes a world difference. Of course, it took me more than six months to find the kind of counseling enviroment that worked well for me, but at least I've finally found it.
And about coming to terms with always using drugs, well, I am tempted to agree, but with a caveat. In my case, a certain dissociative NMDA-antagonist and nootrpoic racetam combo got me clean initially and through the acute phase of w/d - in many ways this saved my life. Now, I'm using bupe to stay clean. Although not all drugs are for me, I have likewise come to terms with the fact that I cannot realistically try or believe I can life a life totally void of drug use or "recreational."
I mean, I don't discount the possibility that one day, for some amount of time, recreational or any other kind of drug use might not play a role in my life. The point is that, although that possibility will always exist as just that (a possibility it nothing more), such a strict program, of complete and absolute abstinence from all drug use and all recreational drugs, across the board, is neither a realistic nor ideal or utopian goal. I have come to the conclusion tht complete abstinence, although possible, without a doubt so, isn't something I should necessarily strive toward. I don't find it realistic, practically speaking. I also don't find it desirable.
Another lesson that I've learned through struggling with addiction is that, well, the drugs themselves aren't so much the problem, at least not so much as the consequences of my using certain drugs. It's nothing inherent or instrinsic to the drugs, in and of themselves that is the issue. It's that when I use the drug, for whatever reason, history shows me that bad things will likely happen. This doesn't apply to ALL drugs though. In fact, the list is pretty easy for me to define. Iono... In other words, using heroin will, as it already has, undoubtedly lead me down a dark, dark path. In order to live a life I find acceptable, however minimalistic my conception of it might be, I simply can't expect that I can use opioids willy-nilly like and not suffer correlated consequences. At least, especially given my current situation.
For the future? Who knows. I'm too fucking scared from what I've gone through already to want to even tempt fate and repeat the misery. I have found that I can use only certain substances that do not, how do I say, enhance or promote anti-social/negative/nonconstructive behavior such as deception and manipulation. I actually find that certain drugs (ketamine, DXM, piracetam/nootropic racetams, thc to a degree, etc. etc. and I would like to try MXE one of these days) actually holds the potential to enhance my well being. Past experiences, such as with DXM, actually have allowed me to see the world more clearly, from new and different, if sometimes rather strange, perspectives. Certain drugs thus produce effects that make it easier for me to live a more mature, harmonious, honest and well balance life, sometimes to a degree that I couldn't even have previously imagine possible.
I'm not saying the positive new changing in my life of late have been simply the result of using any one or more magic bullet drugs. No, not in the least. Rather, just as using certain drugs (i.e. heroin) went hand in hand with self-destruction, certain other drugs go hand in hand with a sort of self-respect that, I must admit, I found at first to feel almost foriegn. That's the point. To a degree, maybe, certain drugs are a problem. But THE problem still isn't so much the drugs. THE problem is destructive/self-destructive behavior. Such behaviors I have now come to associate as the result of the use and eventual addiction to certain drugs, and to this I pat myself on the back. One's plan of action doesn't count for much when one hasn't accurately identified the roots of the problem.
I don't know, maybe this is getting to sound kinda stupid simple. Simple stupid can be a good thing though. I like simple, even if I find complicated beautiful in its own way.