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Detox Brutally detoxing again

aihfl

aihfl

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 5, 2015
Messages
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Anyone else find the nausea weirdly comforting?
 
Sorry to hear you're back here, aihfl. I went through your last recovery journal a week or two ago. What's your plan of action this time around? Detoxing at home? Any comfort meds?

Correct me if I'm wrong, alcohol and benzos are your DOCs, correct?
 
I planned to taper the alcohol but I misplaced my wallet so I'm having to CT. It's just as well. Like ripping off a bandaid.
 
Ugh. Do you think you'll be ok, physically? I know alcohol wds can be deadly.
 
Every detox from alcohol is brutal but I've experienced worse. Last time I went to the hospital they just kept me for a few hours and sent me home with a benzodiazepine script without admitting me and I wanted to be admitted.
 
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Damn buddy I'm sorry your going through this
 
You seem to have a decent attitude this go-round, at least. Keep us updated.
 
Sorry to hear you are suffering, Aifl... your words to me here have helped and empowered me more than you know. I wish I knew how to return the favor, but I know you already know to not be too hard on yourself, and to focus on today. Here for you.
 
Hang in there aihfl, try to be kind and patient with yourself. Easier said than done I know, here for you anytime,

your friend,
Ash.

aihfl said:
Anyone else find the nausea weirdly comforting?
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I'm seriously considering calling the cops to Marchman Act me (involuntary commitment) that way I can be taken to the free county-run detox. It's a dump but the price is right if you're taken in by law enforcement.
 
It going that badly? :( Sorry to hear

By misplaced wallet, you mean you won't be able to find it anytime soon? No way to scrounge up some change and take the edge off with a cheap gas station beer?
 
Yeah I don't have the physical stamina to look for it right now. All I can do is lay here on my couch. If I can just make it thru today I usually recover pretty quickly. I got desperate enough to get up and look for it but no Bueno. This is tuning out to be more brutal than I thought it was going to be.
 
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Nothing will be remotely fun about this, but detoxing always worked better for me if I surrounded myself with people. Hit some meetings. It won't be fun and you feel like crap, and there will likely be tons of self-induced guilt and shame, but you aren't the first to relapse and you won't be the last.
 
Every time I get up I get a wave of nausea. I have to stay put. I asked my ex to bring me some beer but I doubt she will. I'm almost desperate enough to panhandle for it. I look and smell like I'm homeless right now anyway.

Thank God I found my wallet so I get could get some shitty beer to ease wds. I've got to stop this shit. It only gets worse.
 
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If I may give some advice? Stay at home, take the ativan, you'll feel at least partially better.

Glad to hear you found your wallet.
 
Yeah I'll have to Uber it over to the pharmacy for a refill because I'm out. Beer is a short walk away. Much more accessible in my current condition. I'm only drinking enough to stave off the shakes, sweating and nausea.
 
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Captain.Heroin said:
If I may give some advice? Stay at home, take the ativan, you'll feel at least partially better.

Glad to hear you found your wallet.
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This.

It may be time to think about a professional detox too.
 
I just fucking went thru this six months ago. WTF is my problem???
 
aihfl said:
Yeah I'll have to Uber it over to the pharmacy for a refill because I'm out. Beer is a short walk away. Much more accessible in my current condition. I'm only drinking enough to stave off the shakes, sweating and nausea.
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yes, there's probably 12 places to get alcohol closer here than a pharmacy too.

Stay strong man. That uber sounds like a good idea.

aihfl said:
I just fucking went thru this six months ago. WTF is my problem???
Click to expand...

When I had 7 months clean once and relapsed on buprenorphine, I thought I had a better handle on it and "knew" not to keep using it compulsively. Definitely did not.

What led to you drinking again? Stress, anxiety, boredom? Did you think you could handle it better this time?

It's a part of addiction, it's not your fault. You can get through this! :)
 
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