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A piece I just wrote entitled "Goodbye Now"

oakleys09

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2006
Messages
38
Hey there, haven't posted in awhile because of personal issues but enough of that and onto the real point of the post. While writing this song I put myself into the mindset of a person about to commit suicide and this was his note he left. Anyway, I just finished this piece so let me know what you think, what you like/don't like... tell me if it sucked even! I can take it, I've been writing all my life so it's not as if someone hasn't liked a piece of my work before.

Take me back to the place where my dreams are made
And all my bad thoughts go away and fade
That place where if I do too much cocaine
I'll just wake up again and be okay
That place where last night becomes today
Pretending nothings wrong but nothing that I say
Will keep me from whats about to take place
And in this moment with you is where I want to stay

But I have to say goodbye now,
I never wanted you to find out
This life was too much for me, by myself

And if I could say one last thing
it'd be how much you meant to me
But I can't do that, I must say goodbye today

I hope you still think of me, now that I am gone
When the sun rises and the night becomes the dawn
Don't cry for me, For now I'll always be with you
I never meant to hurt you or ever do you wrong
And with you I leave the strength to stay strong
And if you ever forget just sing to yourself this song
And I'll come right back to you each and everytime
But it saddens me now to have to say goodbye

I have to say goodbye now,
I never wanted you to find out
This life was too much for me, by myself

And if I could say one last thing
it'd be how much you meant to me
But I can't do that, I must say goodbye today
 
Beautiful. Did you have a situation in mind about why this person wanted to kill themselves?
I attempted to attempt (got stopped before I did it) suicide in the 12th grade. I wrote a letter to my family, this reminded me of it.

<3
 
Beautiful. Did you have a situation in mind about why this person wanted to kill themselves?
I attempted to attempt (got stopped before I did it) suicide in the 12th grade. I wrote a letter to my family, this reminded me of it.

<3

The main point that I was trying to get through to my audience was that this guy wasn’t all that different than you and I... he had friends, he was surrounded by loved ones, but still for some reason he felt alone in this world. I was also trying to show that even though he had felt this way, he was disguising it to everyone around him, and came off as a rather normal happy kid; which I’m trying to convey with the opening of the chorus:

But I have to say goodbye now
I never wanted you to find out
This life was too much for me, by myself


Not sure if I’m explaining what I wanted to get across with the song in the right light, but hopefully you get the picture. And thanks for the compliment, much appreciated:D I love when I'm able to connect with a person in the audience, someone listening, or in this case reading my music, really that's what music is all about IMO
 
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