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PLEASE HELP: MDMA or something else?

PleaseHelpMe123

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Aug 30, 2018
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Thanks for reading this! I?m desperate for some answers and have no idea where else to turn.

(I?ll make this as short as possible)

I need to know if what I am expericing could still be a side effect of MDMA (capsule).

I have always had problems with anxiety and depression. It was a specifically bad year this year. In February, I found CBD oil gummies (Kushy Punch) and it really helped with my anxiety and OCD. I also started taking THC edibles (5mg) a few times a week.

July 3rd, I go out with a few friends and one recommends I try Molly. I was hesitant because I?ve never done any drug other than that little bit of marijuana. I decide to take take a TINY amount, maybe 1/8th or 1/10th of the capsule. A friend took the rest of it. 2 more friends took 2 other capsules. They were untested, which i know now in hindsight was a bad mistake. We can save comments on that. I will never do any drug ever again so no worries. Btw, the others had no adverse affects and said it?s how they feel every time they take it.

I didn?t feel the effects of the drug. Maybe i was too drunk. I do remember being happy that night but nothing crazy. The whole next day, I was lathargic in bed but still felt ok, maybe even happy. I went to work the next day, feeling lethargic but did a half day, came home. Started to research what I could do to feel better and I saw that marijuana could help curb the lethargy. All I had was that 5mg edible. I took that and about an hour later, I has a horrible anxiety attack.

The anxiety lingered the next day. I read online to take 5-HTP, so I start 50mg of that. 2 days later, I go to the gym, do 30 minutes of cardio, and an hour later, I have a terrible anxiety attack and I get hyperacusis. I have diarrhea for about 2 weeks. I think I slept for about 20 hours for the whole months. I got phobic of everything because i wasn?t sure how anything was going to affect my body. No marijuana, no alcohol, no caffeine, completely clean.

About week 6, I started to feel a tad better, started to do some biking and some cardio, and I tried to introduce CBD (half a Kushy Punch CBD - 6mg - no THC) and my heart started racing and my anxiety spiked again. I stopped it, but the next day I felt great, then a week later I am back to some severe depression and anxiety. I?m starting getting weird zaps and tingling in my legs below my knees and head zaps. Also tingling in my hands. I tried some CBD drop and a few days later I took 2mg of the Kushy Punch CBD. It?s not doing much good, making things worse maybe?

I have a job where I have to entertain and I feel awful still. I have intense anxiety and depression. My sleeping is still off. Some nights none. And even though I?ve delt with Dark feelings before, this is next level.

Also I should note that I am going through a very difficult time in life (divorce, health issues, 2 dogs died)

From what I?ve read from your other posts, none of this should be permanent. But I literally feel like I?m going crazy. I?m scared and just want to feel better so bad.

So I have a bunch of questions that I can?t get answers for that I really hope you can help with:

- Is there anyway that the tiny bit of MDMA (good possibility of it cut with something else) still affect me 8 weeks later?

- Is the 50mg 5-HTP helping or hurting?

- Is CBD benefitcial? It doesn?t appear to be to be psychedelic.

- SSRIs for recovery? Seen mixed reviews. I?m not a big fan of them but I?m getting desperate.

- Is there a type of doctor that deals with drug effects because my general doc seems clueless on drugs and their effects.

Again, I am so thankful for your knowledge! Since I don?t do a lot of drugs, I am clueless and it?s hard to find people to talk to about this. So thank you for taking time to respond.
 
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- Is there anyway that the tiny bit of MDMA (good possibility of it cut with something else) still affect me 8 weeks later?
I'm going to have to say no. Being that you took such a small amount, your friends took that same batch, and you didn't have a noticeable effect.. it all seems unrelated to be completely honest. It seems more likely that the worry and stress relating to the untested MDMA could have caused a lot of the things you mention like the anxiety and diarrhea. Placebo is a very strong drug- perceived stress is real stress and has real affect on the body. Your thoughts can have physical implications, anxiety being one of the more apparent.

- Is the 50mg 5-HTP helping or hurting? 5-htp is the chemical precursor to serotonin, so it is what the body uses to create serotonin. Serotonin is a mood regulator and is responsible for a lot of good feelings like happiness. Idk if 50mg is a lot of a little, but so long as it's within the recommended dose I doubt it is hurting. Don't try to over due it, the difference will be fairly subtle even if it does help at this point.

- Is CBD benefitcial? It doesn?t appear to be to be psychedelic.
I'm assuming you meant psychoactive, which no it doesn't get you high but it does affect the mind.. so depending on how you define psychoactive it can be debatable. However, what is not debatable are things like clinical trials or lack of. I haven't fully researched all the different claims about CBD and other cannabinoids because there are a ton and many have no real evidence backing the claims. For instance, all the anecdotal claims that low doses of CBD through ingestion(eating it) have no clinical backing and are nothing more than anecdotal. There is quite a bit of research though that demonstrates that CBD is significantly less effective when isolated from THC. Curren CBD only medications that have undergone testing have a daily dose of something like 5-25mg/kg of body weight.

More importantly, most the people making these claims about all the things that CBD helps can not explain why, how, or point to any literature backing the claims. The array of the diseases and ailments are far too broad and unrelated for it to make sense to me on a pharmacological level. For instance, how can something be non-psychoactive yet relieve anxiety? If it is making no changes in the brain, how can it change something(anxiety) that is occurring in the brain?

Besides all that... even if it lived up to its claims, there are much better ways to treat things like anxiety. There are many different types of therapy that do not involve taking a medication for the rest of your life. You mention you have always dealt with anxiety and depression. There is likely a cause to the effect, and it may be worth exploring more with someone like a therapist or even on your own or with close friends. It is honestly one of the modern tragedies that we as a society often believe that the only way to change the way we feel is to take a drug. It is like going and asking for help as soon as you start to struggle. If you don't work through the struggle and you always have someone do it for you, you will never learn and grow. You will never build the strength to overcome the problem. Anxiety is the fuel to life.. what is it that our emotions are trying to tell us? They are better acknowledge than ignored.

- SSRIs for recovery? Seen mixed reviews. I?m not a big fan of them but I?m getting desperate.
Personally I would advise against them, but others have found them to be helpful so it is difficult to say. There are a lot of things to consider that I do not think are talked about as much as they should be. SSRIs are commonly touted as being "non-habit forming" but hardly ever do I hear anyone talk about physical dependence and SSRIs. Getting off psychiatric medications can be a very dangerous and long process. There are also side effects to the drug and no guarantee that it will work. As someone who has dealt with polydrug addiction, it did not seem like the best option for me. I decided I would rather feel my own emotions whether positive or negative than take a drug in attempts to manage negative emotion. IMO far too overprescribed.

- Is there a type of doctor that deals with drug effects because my general doc seems clueless on drugs and their effects
It depends on what effects specifically you are talking about, but more than likely your general practicioner will not be trained in any specialized knowledge. You would need a doctor who specializes in addiction.
 
Feel free to ask if you have any other questions or are in need of support or help. I may not be able to answer all your questions but hopefully others can chime in as well.

Just to clarify about SSRIs, I do believe that they can be helpful. It's just too common that they are presented as a solution with no possible side effects. In the short term they are relatively safe and could carry a lot of potential benefits. Our brain will adapt to virtually anything. This gives us a lot of resilience but can make it difficult to pull yourself out of a rut. Depression has physical symptoms that is observable in the brain- or it might be better said that physical conditions in the brain IS depression. I don't understand it to be a chemical "imbalance", but it is a result of specific neurotransmitter(chemical) levels. Stanford professor Dr. Robert Sapolsky gives a really interesting lecture on it here
 
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