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Do's and dont's for your friend with benefits

DoUbLeYoU

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2011
Messages
133
Yea so this girl I've always thought was pretty good looking in my class just asked me if I wanted to be her fuck buddy the other day. I said yea (who wouldn't) I'm not looking for a serious relationship, and would love to just keep it a casual thing. Also she was dating another guy when she asked me and when we first hooked up, so I know she's not girlfriend material, but I'm worried what's gonna happen once things start to progress.

For anyone who's had a friend with benefits how did it turn out? Did you end up catching feelings for that person even if you were planning not to? Did u end up together, break up, friends, etc...

I had her over last night, made her dinner, had a bottle of wine, and then basically you kno what... I didn't make her dinner and shit to impress her, i just did it cause that's what any guy with class should do when they have a girl over, but I started thinking afterwards, if I don't want this girl to catch feelings for me, I probably shouldn't be cooking her dinner and drinking wine with her all the time. I'm curious what anyone else's thoughts are on the subject

I'm basically just looking for others experiences and any do's and dont's of a friends with benefits thing. Did you do anything you regretted afterwards?

Also what do u think she would say if I started getting with other girls?
 
DO:
  • keep the relationship is casual as possible. Avoid seeing/calling/texting eachother regularly. -- That's how feelings of attachment start.
  • Date other girls. -- If you are out there dating other girls, and she is dating other guys, there's a much less chance of any feelings developing
DON'T:
  • Spend more time with her than any guy friend of yours.
  • Isolate yourself to just her.
 
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If your just trying to be fuck buddy don't go out together, I did that, and it was a mistake, because you start liking each other.

The reason she says she wants to be fuck buddy with is that she doesn't want a relationship with you, but with the right person yes.

The fact u cook her dinner shows that u want to be more than fuck buddy, that’s what people do in a relationship not here. The fact you had dinner together was a bad idea, next time call her over, fuck her and then politely tell her to leave, make a excuse or something so you don't sound like a jerk. The more interaction u have the more feeling u will develop, and usually these type of girls are not the kind you want a relationship anyway, most have issues..

From my experience you should just fuck her, and leave, don't even start convo, just leave..
Don't text her or FB and have convo. Only text her if either one of you want to fuck.

The more you hang out and talk the more you will have feelings for her, which will confuse you on why she doesn't want to be more than friends with benefits.

Also wear condom, even she she doesn't mind that u don't, u don't want to catch something, and no condom can create more attachment, which u don't want..

Honestly I think it’s a bad idea, I really regard mine.
I learn in the future if I just want sex, its better to just call a call girl.

I doubt she will mind u dating other guys, most likely shes fucking other guys too.

It’s a fun experience, but don't expect it going anywhere..

Fuck her as many times as you can, but once you get tired of it, or drama starts happening such as her wanting to talk more and hang out, leave her asap..

Usually people get hurt in these type of relationships.
Again DO not ever go out with her anywhere, Don't ever do that.. Trust Me..

Also its weird how sex can bring people together and create feelings. Which made me think can people even have sex on going bases and either have any feelings.
 
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I've never had one that didn't end with someone getting hurt. If you treat her like a girlfriend, she's going to start feeling like your girlfriend.
 
^ not only that, but you'll start to catch yourself viewing her as a girlfriend, too.

I agree, every no strings attached extended relationship I've had ends in some kind of emotional distress.
 
I'm a female and I shake my head at bitches who truly have no self respect. I will answer your thread though.

do: -tell her about other girls you may like so she knows you're not falling for her

-one night when she asks for sex say no I'm going on a date but tomorrow night?

-do tell her you love the sex but tell her straight up nothing more is happening

-do wear a condom

Don't: -cook for her

-let her stay the night

-flirt with her or say how beautiful she is

-do not get jealous about her messing with other guys

-dont expect anything from her

-do not text her 24/7 or try to get to know her too much that you will fall in love with the person she is
 
I had her over last night, made her dinner, had a bottle of wine, and then basically you kno what... I didn't make her dinner and shit to impress her, i just did it cause that's what any guy with class should do when they have a girl over, but I started thinking afterwards, if I don't want this girl to catch feelings for me, I probably shouldn't be cooking her dinner and drinking wine with her all the time. I'm curious what anyone else's thoughts are on the subject
?

dont do this all the time this is how my ex lover got me .. good sex and good food :p

once you start getting jealous .. runn! i think a causal buddy relationship should not last more then maybe 6 months tops after a year of fucking the same person it turns into something else. one will get hooked or both will fall and realize that that its just not meant to be either way 8)

keep things VERY CASUAL .. dont make her your main focus
 
think a causal buddy relationship should not last more then maybe 6 months tops after a year of fucking the same person it turns into something else. one will get hooked or both will fall and realize that that its just not meant to be either way 8)

Exactly, mine became weird after 4 months, i should of drop it then, i really regret it. To be on the safe side, drop it after 3 months, it will get weird, theres no way anyway can just have sex and not communicate, since it seems like there in the same class and school.

Stick to this 3 month rule, and you will be ok.
In fact do whatever you want with her in this 3 month,
but then just leave when the time comes up.
 
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it will get weird, theres no way anyway can just have sex and not communicate, since it seems like there in the same class and school.

Ahh. that's true. They have a class together. slippery slope can you imagine trying to pay attention in class while she's staring daggers and you're thinkin about her tits bouncing up n down while you were pounding that ass... it may be fun but you probably will fail the class. Something to consider..;)
 
Hey whether or not it's a DO or a DON'T, I love cooking for a girl.
It's fun and it just kinda completes the experience I think.
Even though I have no interest of being in anything long term, I guess I like to pretend for a night. It's better than JUST fucking.

Any girls think so?
 
Hey whether or not it's a DO or a DON'T, I love cooking for a girl.
It's fun and it just kinda completes the experience I think.
Even though I have no interest of being in anything long term, I guess I like to pretend for a night. It's better than JUST fucking.

Any girls think so?

ohh dont get me wrong ... its fucking awesome !
thats the problem
something easy to get use to ..

my ex lover use to cook awesome steaks and my panties would be wet by the time i was done eating .. then straight banggin , :!

you have to know when to cut ties .. but its hard when you enjoy the person alot (especially sexually )


I'm a female and I shake my head at bitches who truly have no self respect. I will answer your thread though.
what????
 
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Some pretty good advice

The dinner thing - sure you like it and sure she likes it BUT it will help the relationship go to a more "girlfriend" than a "fuck buddy" which is NOT what you want. That's just how it is. You will still do what you want - we are just warning you what will happen :)

Don't talk too much with her, just sex. Stick to sex. Don't "go to parties" with her. If you meet her at a party or club or something, have sex, but don't chat her up and all that.

I've never had that type of relationship but I've seen them. Doesn't seem like my type anyway.
 
some pretty sound advice that ill keep in mind.

lol nd yea about the whole dinner thing, i was hungry, and i needed the energy for what was to come later...;)


it wasnt for "her" sort of speak, but i mean, everyones gotta eat right?


ill continue to update if i have any worth while questions

i also wanna add that i have the upmost respect for women, but i think sometimes that respect can be confused for attraction, so i mean i dont wanna be an asshole, but i dont want her to get the idea that i want to start a serious relationship
 
DO:
  • keep the relationship is casual as possible. Avoid seeing/calling/texting eachother regularly. -- That's how feelings of attachment start.
  • Date other girls. -- If you are out there dating other girls, and she is dating other guys, there's a much less chance of any feelings developing
DON'T:
  • Spend more time with her than any guy friend of yours.
  • Isolate yourself to just her.


Shit. I'm breaking quite a few rules here :\ Is my little forray going to end in disaster? I've broken a lot of the rules and it's been going on for about five months now..

We're not really fuck buddies though. It's more of a romantic friendship, if you will. The thing is that we've actually become really close and are basically best friends. Neither of us get jealous about the other either though. Maybe I AM truely having my cake and eating it? :\
 
I've never had one that didn't end with someone getting hurt. If you treat her like a girlfriend, she's going to start feeling like your girlfriend.

I hate this fucking post!!!:X:X:X

Edit: the only way to possibly make it work is to make it just 'booty call' type sex ( not too often ) and continue to see other people
 
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Shit. I'm breaking quite a few rules here :\ Is my little forray going to end in disaster? I've broken a lot of the rules and it's been going on for about five months now..

We're not really fuck buddies though. It's more of a romantic friendship, if you will. The thing is that we've actually become really close and are basically best friends. Neither of us get jealous about the other either though. Maybe I AM truely having my cake and eating it? :\

polyamorous is not that uncommon. lots of people can't handle that, and it's hard to know if you just met them.
 
...

shit

wish i'd read this like 2 months ago; broken basically every "don't" on the page, no wonder she is harbouring "certain feelings"
 
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