Getting high alone on dxm
I am pretty new to getting high alone. My whole life I've always been with friends when I've gotten high on any drug, except for pot which I often smoke alone before bed. I'm used to smoking pot alone, it's a great way to mellow out at the end of the day and be alone with my mind and thoughts.
I'm new-ish to DXM, but I have done it several times over the past few months with friends. Had some wild experiences and learned a lot. I've tried doing it alone 2 times now, because I want to experience getting high on a more powerful drug alone, especially DXM which I think might be better alone in some ways. This may sound kinda stupid, but I'm having difficulty learning HOW to be high alone on a powerful drug. It's just damn.. confusing. I didn't realize how helpful it is to have a buddy or gf around to help guide the trip and be supportive and grounding and just share the vibe with you.
The first time I got high alone on DXM I didn't take very much, probably about 200mg. It was pleasant, I drew, listened to some Alan Watts lectures and thought about stuff, listened to music, hallucinated a bit.. Last night I tried again and took too much too fast by mistake. I took the gel caps, 40 in the span of 30 mins. Equivalent to 600mg. After about an hour I experienced the nasty stomach side effects, but about 1.5 hours in I was way higher than I expected to be. I had double vision, couldn't walk very well, couldn't read, could sorta talk but too fast and quite confusedly.. This is the kind of high that might be fun with friends, but I found myself very frustrated in this state alone. There wasn't much I could do other than lie down and hallucinate like mad. Which was great for a while, but my goal for the trip was to use my mind, which I find is often more powerful and I can think faster and more clearly on DXM. For some reason I experienced the opposite during this trip. I usually feel smarter and much more aware of higher realities on DXM but in this case I felt kind of dumbed down, which kinda depressed me. All I could really use my mind for was creative doings, so I took some photos and drew and tripped out. I tried thinking and writing and reading but no luck. Eventually I tried to sleep, still hallucinating like crazy, so it took a lot of effort, but finally succeeded. I also found myself quite afraid and psychotic when hallucinating in bed, so I guess that's the one part that deters me from doing DXM alone, is that it can be scary at times. I have done k alone once, which I find to be a very comforting drug, but DXM is darker and less protective to me.
I guess I definitely took too much - I have taken that much before, but never that quickly, and never alone. So it was foolish of me to swallow 40 gelcaps so fast. I guess doing it gradually over the course of a few hours will give you much better results. It really wasn't the high I was expecting. It was also the first time I had taken just gel caps and no syrup, so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. Anyway, just looking for some other thoughts and opinions on getting high with friends vs getting high alone (on dissociatives) - maybe it's better to plan your trip beforehand when dosing alone? To eliminate getting too confused and lost? But yeah the dosage and speed I took it at surely had something to do with my disappointing high as well. All thoughts appreciated.