The need for deep emotional connections after using MDMA...

Now I know that its a given that one of the effects of mdma is the ability to not only instantly connect with someone, but to connect in such a deep, meaningful way that it feels like you know the person really well. We all know that this is one of the great things about the drug, aside from the personal euphoric effects we get.

The reason Im bringing this up is that over the past few months Ive been unable to roll with any regularity (for various reasons: geography, living back at home ) and have noticed that the major disappointments I am experiencing over not rolling are not ones of stimulant withdrawal as you would expect (although they are apparent) but of the lack of that truly deep, special emotional connection with other people.

I believe now that alot of the post-MDMA absent mindedness that follows both in the short term and long term can be attributed not to the cognitive damage that mdma causes, but to the fact that we create such genuine, special connections with people (often complete strangers) when using mdma that all other relationships and interactions with others become somewhat boring and unworthy, and consequently need more effort and energy to sustain. This may be alittle extreme, but I think that a lot of the time that lack of connectiveness we feel with people after using mdma is actually quite normal and not lacking at all, but feels less due to the awesome relationships we conjure up while recreating.

Anyone agree? I think its one of the greatest things about rolling and something that you truly do not miss or even realise how much you value until you take a serious break (forced or otherwise ).

pinkanga

Mate i totally agree, ive been using mdma for only about 9 months or so on a regular basis and had some pretty close emotional experiences, but after a 6 week break i got together with my girlfriend and a friend who is very much a deep and emotional person, as me and my girlfriend both are. On saturday night we all rolled together at *, after dancing for a little while we all headed up stairs to kick back and let our peak just roll on, we bonded on such a emotionally deep level that it was like we were just one ball of energy, there was not 3 of us just 1 and we fed off eachother, our heads together arms on shoulders and simultainious(SP?) breathing took our night to a different level that, unless you were in "our" circle, you could not comprehend. I have never bonded like this with anyone before and know for a fact that all the drama and stress we had in our individual lives was turned into energy that we could pass through eachother and i attribute this fact to the lack of us rolling for sometime and it all being released at once. This probably isnt making much sense to anyone but benny and my one and only bleep-bleep , but thats all that matters
Thank you guys, i'll never forget it

[Edit: Venue details removed. Please read the Guidelines. BigTrancer]

I hear u guys loud and clear.

I know that when I E with a good friend that I open up completely and we are able to get onto a different level of communication with each other.

Thankfully I am also finding that we can continue it while straight now which is great.

I cant say this happens with every random I happen to chat with but certainly with the two or three that I am now even more closer to than PRE E.

And yes I do miss it when we have to go periods without Eing together and reinforcing that amazing togetherness we now all share.

Wouldnt it be great if us stupid human beings didnt need to rely on a drug to break down the barriers that we build for ourselves.

Originally posted by pinkanga
but to the fact that we create such genuine, special connections with people (often complete strangers)

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I don't really believe that the connections you experience under the influence of drugs could really be considered %100 genuine. They sure feel genuine, but who you really are is not a person that is constantly drug affected (maybe I'm wrong about that ).

when using mdma all other relationships and interactions with others become somewhat boring and unworthy

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That is truly sad my friend, but so true for alot of people (including myself from time to time). MDMA can teach you how to experience these sorts of levels of understanding and compassion that are possible in your everyday life. I've had some amazing experiences lately that have paled most E experiences. I don't think E helped me achieve this state but it sure helped me recognize what was happening and to maximise the reward I got from it.

^^ Yeah as I said this example is a little on the extreme side. I just feel that it illustrates the point I was making well.

I definitely agree that the genuine connections can be a little misleading because of the drug, but the communication channels are so much more open and seem to run alot deeper when using mdma. Thats basically what Im getting at.

Nice read! I believe that MDMA, well, it lets you open up, it lets you be the person you were mean't to be (or maybe not), while you are rolling and you feel these emotional attachments, there just area's in your brain which are being activated, which normally aren't and thoughts are gushing through, making you think your hitting this new platau of relationships

It's hard to explain, but the thing is, it is all inside of us, to connect at the so called "MDMA" level, through meditation, prayer, yoga, ect ect...

When I'm making love to my girlfriend, I feel the same connection... All those chemical imbalances going off

Re: Re: The need for deep emotional connections after using MDMA...

smokin' joe said:

I don't really believe that the connections you experience under the influence of drugs could really be considered %100 genuine. They sure feel genuine, but who you really are is not a person that is constantly drug affected (maybe I'm wrong about that ).



That is truly sad my friend, but so true for alot of people (including myself from time to time). MDMA can teach you how to experience these sorts of levels of understanding and compassion that are possible in your everyday life. I've had some amazing experiences lately that have paled most E experiences. I don't think E helped me achieve this state but it sure helped me recognize what was happening and to maximise the reward I got from it.

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You posted almost exactly what I was thinking. I really don't think that the connections you make when you're on E to randoms are "genuine". How many times have you met this "awesome" person who you could tell your life story to ad nausem and you guys will stay in touch for sure after the rave/club night/whatever, and you wake up the next day and just think, they were a nice person, but there really is no way that we are going to meet up. And they aren't offended when you don't call to go out for drinks or something, because they are thinking the same thing. The first time I did E, i was with some people, and the most important thing they told me is that when your on ecstasy its not real. When you come down, thats whats real. Your straight friends, your job, your family. If you start to think the fake world of ecstasy is more important than them, thats when you've got a problem.

I don't think there's such a great necessity to write off everything you feel on drugs as 'fake', and I think this can potentially devalue a drug experience. Why not just allow yourself to get lost in the moment, and reflect on it later to assimilate that experience into your life.

I also think that the whole 'drugs aren't real' mindset can potentially lead people to a misunderstanding of the consequences of their actions when on drugs.

Furthermore, is there anything wrong with admitting you lose control of your emotions when on drugs? It's kinda natural, I would think, especially in such a lowered-inhibition state as MDMA can create. The feelings aren't fake, and the emotions aren't fake... you're a real person reacting to real stimuli in ways that you aren't familiar with is all. Perhaps it's the unfamiliarity of emotional responses that leads people to step back and distance themselves from these feelings, rather than saying "well, I was on heaps of drugs, felt great at the time" and then assessing the situation to figure out whether to attach personal significance to it (i.e., do you consider these feelings indicate a religious/life-changing/earth-shattering experience compared to everything you've been though before, or do you write it off as 'just a drug'?... and does the person who takes the experience fully on board gain more from their drug experience than someone who uncomfortably moves on with their life and relegates these memories to the 'wierd drug experience' pigeon hole?)

BigTrancer

Rest assured guys, I totally hear what youre saying!

Whether or not the social interactions and relationships are real or not, it cannot be denied that they do actually take place and that the closeness and emotions really are felt.

I have just found it a little surprising that it is this aspect of the ectasy adventure that I am coming to miss the most, rather than the personal and learning experience, which I value highly.

%)

ps. I totally agree BT. I think a lot of inner turmoil can be avoided just by altering your perspective, or the way that you see or think about your previous durg-induced experiences.

i'd have to say i consider myself a better person since i've been taking pills and the friendships i've developed through them seem a lot more real to me than those that have failed in the past.

then again, i'm still young and i cant say that the friendships i have now will last forever, even though i want them to.

i met my boyfriend while coming down, we got to know each other better one night under the influence, and the first three days we spent as a couple, we were also on drugs. but because i'm in in tassie and hes in melbourne, we spend 2 hours on the phone each night.
just cos we werent straight when we met, doesnt mean our relationship is fake or that we rely on drugs to connect.

my point being, it doesnt matter what ur on, i think everything happens for a reason. and we all "click" with certain people. these friendships will last if u meet while on drugs or not. i think mdma just opens doors wider, to let more people into ur life, because of the obvious effects of the drug.

I don't think there's such a great necessity to write off everything you feel on drugs as 'fake', and I think this can potentially devalue a drug experience. Why not just allow yourself to get lost in the moment, and reflect on it later to assimilate that experience into your life.

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Perfectly put.

I'm not talking of bragging about being the most chopped, but if you don't reflect and meditate on the implications (or not) the experience might have presented, then there is no hope of enlightenment. One of the reasons first encounters with E are often so impactive is because the experience is usually thought about for some time afterwards.

BT: What you say is right is many way's, but how can you think that everything you see/feel is real while on the roll? Especially when MDMA/MDA comes into play, visual's are not real, though from the perspective from the user, they are?

It's weird hey, 2 different worlds and only you are the viewer

BigTrancer said:

I don't think there's such a great necessity to write off everything you feel on drugs as 'fake', and I think this can potentially devalue a drug experience. Why not just allow yourself to get lost in the moment, and reflect on it later to assimilate that experience into your life.

I also think that the whole 'drugs aren't real' mindset can potentially lead people to a misunderstanding of the consequences of their actions when on drugs.

Furthermore, is there anything wrong with admitting you lose control of your emotions when on drugs? It's kinda natural, I would think, especially in such a lowered-inhibition state as MDMA can create. The feelings aren't fake, and the emotions aren't fake... you're a real person reacting to real stimuli in ways that you aren't familiar with is all. Perhaps it's the unfamiliarity of emotional responses that leads people to step back and distance themselves from these feelings, rather than saying "well, I was on heaps of drugs, felt great at the time" and then assessing the situation to figure out whether to attach personal significance to it (i.e., do you consider these feelings indicate a religious/life-changing/earth-shattering experience compared to everything you've been though before, or do you write it off as 'just a drug'?... and does the person who takes the experience fully on board gain more from their drug experience than someone who uncomfortably moves on with their life and relegates these memories to the 'wierd drug experience' pigeon hole?)

BigTrancer

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Yeah sorry, I don't think I made myself clear enough. I think the reason these people made the point to me so one-sidedly is because it is very easy to get caught up in the moment with ecstasy, a lot people get addicted to the lifestyle rather than the drug. Ecstasy can be fantastic socially, I've had some great conversations with my friends and GF and certainly don't write them off as "just on drugs" and ive had introspective rolls which have definitely changed me as a person. You are right, being on drugs is just as real as being sober (it certainly isn't consequence free), but sometimes the 'scene' that people get caught up in can be chock full of fakeness.
Not sure if I've conveyed what I mean but I do feel that ecstasy can be a great way of being open with the people around you, and yourself. And I don't immediately write off experiences as "just on drugs", but there have certainly been times when I've looked back and thought of experiences as less than genuine.

gospeedgo: Yeah hallucinations aren't real, but then again, I don't usually look back at a conversation with a hallucination and try to work out if it was being truthful to me or just saying what I wanted to hear...

BT