Why don't I feel the Love??

hey,
i'm been taking pills for just over a year now(on an unforced break now), and i have noticed that i have literally never felt the love that you guys talk about!!

and before someone goes one about how i must have been getting shit pills, you're wrong!!
i've had my fair share of good pills... white doves(new years), pink armanis(new years), white envelopes, white hearts, pink and white mx's and also had mdma powder on four different occasions!!
and i have NEVER felt the love!! the only time i ever remotely felt the love, was on the envelopes, when a comlete stranger(and hottie) came up to me, and gave me a 30 second hug. it felt really good, but that is the only time!! and the love went away after she left

would anyone be able to explain why I have never felt the love??
maybe it's just me(i'm not the sorta person that is into hugging etc.), but my other mates, who are less into hugging and touching than me, have felt the love bigtime on the same pills!!

any suggestions of how to get into the mood??

cheers

Sounds like the Tolerance Fairy may have paid your a visit Daaang! Loosing the magic is worth crying over... White hearts? No Magic?.. Shssss... Daaang! ... Hearts kicked my arse nicely .. I can't explain why you have "NEVER' felt it.. but if you've been doing pills often, then a tolerance will build..

it's probably cause u need to go around to get the love..
go talk to people touch feel fuck

It's a really really subjective effect - loved-up may mean very different things to you, me and the gurning kid in furry pants in the corner who can't see too well.

Maybe you get exactly the same level of MDMA physical effects, but your inhibitions or preconceptions about what you're supposed to "feel" aren't matching up to the feelings? Quite often I think that loved-up can just manifest itself as serious chattiness where you'll be happy to talk to any random person who walks along, without taking much notice of how they look, where they're from, or whether you'd 'normally' talk to that person for no reason, and tell them your life story.

BigTrancer

yeah what BT said.. if u pop a pill and do nuffin, no love will occur, u have to go talk and stuff

shal said:

White hearts? No Magic?.. Shssss... Daaang! ... Hearts kicked my arse nicely

Click to expand...

oh, believe me. the white hearts shattered me. i just wasn't all lovey. i was just fucked!!

i do go around, and chat to as many people as i can!! but to me, no matter what i've had, it always just seems like a normal convo. nothin special!

although there was one time i had a really deep convo with one of my friends(on the grey smilys from last year), and we just talked bout heaps shit. that was another time when i sorta felt the love.

i'm not one for big conversation when i'm straight. i'm sorta on the shy side. i even feel shy and don't wanna talk much when i'm pilling!!

i think it's just the way i've brought myself up to be. i can never tell anyone my feelings!! straight or not!!

cheres for the replies

I will confess i am one of those poeple that doesnt get lovey dovey and emotional on pills. The three main effects that i get of mdxx is

1. Cool light feeling, body feels awesome - ie, peaking/rolling
2. (when i take a little too much..) i cant stop rolling my eyes, bopping my head.
3. Incrdebially horny most of the time

however, i have never gone around and given people loads of hugs, nor have i felt the urge to. To be honest, unless its an absolutely georgous girl, im not fond of people who do it to me. On speed i do run around have fantastic conversations, but on mdxx i prefer to be fucked by myself. The closest that i can think of sharing the love is lying together on a bean bag, peaking which a geourgous girl, just hugging, maybe a pash - but definately not running around randomly telling people that i love them.

Yeahh...could be the pills man....

because as you said
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white doves(new years), pink armanis(new years), white envelopes, white hearts, pink and white mx's
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I found ALL of these to be quite non-lovey googs...i think there was a wallop of MDA in these..guessing...could be part of the reason...your supply//// sorry..just maybe

Ahh the love. I to have the same thought every once in a while. The third time I dumped was in April this year and i had white chanels and the love was intense. Hugging and everything was great. However, i think that it is largely who you are with. When i go out with a group of girls or something, hugging and touching happens all night, and this is what makes me loved up. But when i go out with my mates, all we do is get ol' skool pill fucked and go hard to heavy beats. Environment can dictate your feeling quite strongly I think.

Next time you go out get close to the girls you are with, or randoms and this will make you feel more lovey-- I don't think its the pills, they are all hum-dingers!

My experience changed when a friend pointed out that introspection kills the roll.

As BT said, it is so subjective. But I think it has a sought of Zen, serendipitous quality.

The less I seek it, the more likely it is to be found. The less I think about it, the more likely it is to happen. The less I think about how I'm feeling, the more feelings I actually have. The less I expect it, the more pleasant the surprise.

So how to achieve it? ....In my case, if I'm out clubbing f'rintstance, I try to make my mind go fairly blank, not think self-conciously about how I look dancing, or about how other people look. Try not to think about if I've come up, or peaking, or whatever. The easiest way to do this, is to just think about the music, and follow that. Everytime I start thinking about other things, I just try to put those thoughts out of my head, and let the music take me there. Another important factor is environment, the ppl I'm with. People I know and trust are the best for feeling the love with.

Then again, I'm often out by myself. Then it's good to talk to unknowns. Even though I spent years as a shy sort of guy, I've learnt that the best way to get the most out of the "clubbing alone" experience is to go and sit down next to someone, and then start a conversation.

"You having a good night?", although unoriginal has become a sort of code for "I'm having a pill, are you, and how do you feel about it?"

maybe you could try that. Try not to expect anything. Try not to feel the weight of the expectation or need to feel the love. maybe then it'll happen

^^^ there's alot of sense in that post IMO

true that

Some people need to learn to stop "chasing the high" as I've had it described to me. It kind of goes with ignorance is bliss. If you have to think think about whats happening around you if at a club/rave. I often get overwhelmed by a sense of awe at the sight of a room/hall full of people going nuts to great music. It's hard to describe. If at home try having a shower with some friends.

If that doesn't do the trick you may have some serious phsycological barriers which are hard to break down. I've just finish Pikal and Shulgin iterated that MDMA is the most subjective experience he knows. For all the publicity MDMA isn't that phsycologicaly strong a drug, some liken it to opening certain pathways but the choice to walk them is up to the physce of the traveller.

Some of my friends just don't get it. Wether they're uncomfortable in the surroundings or in the intimacy of E, I don't know and its up to their head as to what happens.

MDMA usually lowers your inhibitions, but it's not going to remove them completely and make you act entirely against your grain. I know people that will take up to 4 pills in a night and barely even talk to anyone, just sit in the corner with a beer and peak their head off. No outwardly emotional signs, no chattiness, nothing. "Are you enjoying it??" "Oh yeah, these are great!" "Well smile or something dammit!"

BigTrancer

exactly.
for me pills r the inch given to me so i can run a mile.
theyre gonna be the best for u if u let ur mind go and not expect things and try to control all ur situations etc.

my friend i think stresses A LOT about things when she's on pills and she doesnt get the full effect cos i think she doesnt want to lose control.

"You having a good night?", although unoriginal has become a sort of code for "I'm having a pill, are you, and how do you feel about it?"



the line we use for each other is "how u going? alright?"

haha

feeling the love... mmm i have seen this and wondered myself... i get really chatty talk to everyone feel for them and have a fondness for everything... you could call it love i guess... but i prefer to call it being close to everyone...

i get the ability to read minds and see how ppl feel... and i love it...

neway i gotta go out... friday night and all...

maybe you havnt felt the love because u dont know what your looking for in the feeling...

ppl say loved up... i know what they are talking about... even though its different for me...

i have fond memories of ppl i have cuddled up with on couchs in nightclubs - groups of guys and girls and just felt fine

MDxx is highly mood based... jsut coz everything is enhanced especially your mood... if u g out on a saturday night, it may be the best fucking saturday night of the year. Your with ur best mates, and on the best pills of your life, and if you go out in a shitty mood... then chances are high despite wahts happenning arounmd u u will jsut feel generally shitty.. maybe a bit smacked out, but not peaking you guts out and fgeeling the love... maybe try and find your inner love (god i sound like a complete nutter, but i just dunno how else to put it, best descriptive words i can find at the moment). try to think in ur mind its hard sure, but if u manage to feel it... all i can say is fuck man its worth it!!!!!!!!!

hehe by the way, sooo true bout the "hey, having a good night? u all right" its unoriginal but its the best! no matter where u go, who ur with its all the same shit!

I have to disagree with the notion that MDMA is mood based. At least in my experience I had a really bad lead up to the last event I went to. I had stayed up late the night before buggering around with my car, so not getting much sleep and on the night having to take two of our crew to hospital as one of them was jaundice and feeling rather sickly. So as you could imagine I was sore and in a rather bad mood but after I dropped, I was forced into realising that it couldn't be helped and had a great time.

CONTROL FREAKS

After being around the drug scene for more that 10 years, and being around the pill scene more than 5 years, it is very clear to me that you get much more loved up on pills IF YOU LET GO. And you get much higher on drugs like speed, coke, alochol, lsd, or pot IF YOU LET GO.

Our society if very contol orientlated. Go on public transport. If you are tired, or got the flu, you do not stay home and rest - you take coffee, or sudafed, and go to work. We stay 'in control' most of the time, constantly supressing emotions and ignoring them. When you take drugs, part of the experience is letting go. I have found over the years after partying with many different people, with many different drugs, that the more you let go, the higher you get, but the more stupid and crazy things you do. But if that the price to pay, it is a fair price in my opinion.

When i go to a rave, I always say at least 3 really stupid dumb things to strangers, and sometimes I even do stupid physical things, like falling over a podium once in a rave club, and standing on a guys head in a chill room because I was rushing so hard. A friend of mine fell backwards over a couch when peaking hard, and we laughed our arses off. Control freaks do not do this kind of stuff because they are contstantly trying to act cool or sensable on drugs, and THINKING about what they are going to say before hand, and THINKING about how they are going to act, and THINKING about what other people are thinking of their dancing. I see this a lot at raves and rave clubs, especially in Melbourne with the Melbourne Shuffle in force. And when control freaks say or do something stupid, they feel bad and loose their high. When I do something stupid I LAUGH and SMILE and get higher, knowing how 'out of it' I am.

I feel that control freeks are UNHAPPY inside, and the only way to keep the bad feelings inside from comming out is to stay IN CONTROL all the time.

What I am saying is the same for alcohol.
The best house parties I have been to is when everyone is letting go and going wild, no thinking at all, just being silly and having fun.
The worst house parties is when you get a bunch of uptight control freaks who act 'in control' all night, worring about the carpet getting dirty, or a few glasses getting smashed, or people sneaking into bedrooms getting up to no good. Who fucking cares? We are only on the planet once, we are only young once, you might as well enjoy it.

Control freaks should not take pills. All the control freaks in England I met loved coke (because it is very easy to stay in control) and hated pills. Maybe some of you should change your choice of drugs...

I'd rather be a control freak than an out-of-control freak though... I agree with your first paragraph. I think that it's definitely possible to enjoy letting go mentally, thus getting heaps of benefit from your dose, whilst not acting like a lunatic physically and causing unwanted attention to yourself.

BigTrancer