Dusting myself off & trying again

Second attempt at opiate withdrawal this week. Hour #73 kicked my ass and I cried Uncle! This is Day 1- 17th hour. Just looking for words of encouragement and a place to whine and bitch when needed. I look forward to meeting a lot of you.

I did this and so can you. I stayed busy even when I felt like crap and didn't want to be around anyone. It isn't my thinking that kills me, it is the actions or inaction surrounding that thinking that kills me.

If you are a person that participates in recovery groups, I personally went to 3 or more meetings a day. I opened my mouth. It gave me an adrenaline rush from nervousness that would give me a small respite from the malaise and wd pain. I didn't FEEL comfortable, but it really didn't matter what I FELT. It was about what I did.

If you aren't someone who participates in some kind of group of like minded individuals then I really have no experience in being clean like that to share. Alone, I always isolated, hid out, wallowed in my thoughts and eventually was high again. I suppose my experience is "I" get high...when I find a "WE" I am somehow able to stay clean. Find your "WE".

I agree with jdfisse, try and keep a little busy.

You're going to feel bad no matter whether you're in bed or at the grocery store. I'm not saying go crazy and have a full busy day, but try and do something. A load of laundry, a quick trip to the grocery store for things you may need (if you're not puking your guts out, that is). But don't try and do too much. Be easy on yourself and rest if needed. Remember you will feel better so soon. I know it doesn't seem like it and the hours are dragging by, but they will pass and you will be better. Temporarily relieving yourself by using will only make you have to go back to day 1 all over again. How many times do you want to do this? That's the thought that got me out of my cycle of using...I couldn't stand to go through "day one" again..Ive already been through so many. One thought I had that kept me going is the thought that I would feel better tomorrow. Even if that wasn't true, thats what I told myself....tomorrow will be better. It helps you keep going just one more day until eventually you are right. One thing that also has helped me is being trying to appreciate what I have and be thankful. I decided to become clean before I lost my job, before I lost my home, before I lost my friends and loved ones. I decided to become clean before I was facing any kind of criminal charges related to my drug use. I got to get clean at home in the comfort of bed instead of a freezing cold jail floor or shitty rehab in the middle of nowhere. Since you're posting online, I assume you're not in rehab or jail but other factors that I was thankful for may not apply to you..but if they do, think about them and be thankful. And know that if you begin using again you may not be so lucky next time you try to become clean. And there will always be a next time, you won't be able to keep doing this forever, that is, unless the drugs kill you first. Good luck. I'm on day 11 (13 days since I decided to get clean but had a little bit of drug use the first 2 days), and feeling good again. Sure, not everything is perfect, but thats life anyways. it will be again and I'm getting closer and closer to it. And so are you if you remain strong!

I guess this is where I tell a little about myself- not sure I'm in the right place, but I guess someone will point me in the right direction.
I'm almost 50 with two grown daughters and a 9-year-old granddaughter that I've raised for the past 5 years. Happily married to a wonderful man, not-so-happily married to oxycodone. Have taken them for almost 10 years due to a headache that came knocking and has never let up. Ever. Of course I became dependent on the oxycodone, and about a year ago I realized I was into full blown addiction. This past year has found me finishing my prescription in two weeks and then having to scrounge around for whatever I could find/afford for the next two. I don't like knowing this about myself and want to change it. Went cold turkey last Wednesday night and made it just past three days (73 hours) and caved. Took my last pill yesterday at 6pm. Here I go again

Thanks for the support, jdfisse. I've looked for groups for the past two days and I'm not having much luck. I live in a tiny town in southeast Ohio and there's one church that has AA meetings once a week. The next closest is about a 40 minute drive and it's also AA twice a week. I'm also the type that would open my mouth- it's kinda like letting the poison out

That is a tough situation. There are phone meetings available and possibly even streaming online. I have never participated in any of those, but you could always give it a try and share your experience with us.

**Edit: If you don't mind giving the town name that you live in sometimes someone who is seasoned at looking for meetings can find meetings that might be overlooked by someone who is new to it. I have a guy I sponsor in Dayton and he may have some contacts in the area you are in who would help with a list of meetings. If you don't feel comfortable with that I completely understand.

ladyhlove- thank you for the words of encouragement and congratulations on 11 days- that's awesome! I'm trying to stay busy and do things I enjoy (listen to much, color, watch my birdfeeder, hang out with my granddaughter) I hadn't gotten to the point where I was doing anything too sketchy to feed my addiction, but I could see it looming. So here I am. I guess the worst part for me is my original reason for going onto the pain killers in the first place. All day, every day the same thought circles like a vulture: "Damn, my head hurts. Damn, my head hurts"

http://bmlt.naohio.org/?current-meeting-list=1

I don't think I will get in trouble for posting that, but we will find out soon enough. That is the current NA meeting list from all of the areas in Ohio. There are helpline numbers on that list should you like to call the one that represents the area closest to you.

Omgigi said:

Jdfisse-McArthur

Click to expand...

Ok I will send a message to Matt in Dayton and see if he is can give me some ideas about meetings possibly nearby.

Thank you, thank you!

Yeah I'm fortunate I'm not in chronic pain trying to get off of opiates...I can imagine how difficult that is. I didn't do too many sketchy things at first during my opiate problem either, until I wasn't prescribed them anymore..I'm just saying, so many people get off drugs facing way worse scenerios. I'm proud of you for deciding to get off opiates without facing a major life battle...not a lot of people can do it. Especially people who have them prescribed to them.

Okay so I gathered that the only regular (like 3 to 5 days a week) NA meetings are in Portsmouth which is about an hour away from you. I will check on AA now.

Hi Omgigi, tough situation. Been through WD both cold turkey and with comfort meds. Have you talked to your doctor to see if there's something to ease your symptoms? Just remember this is all temporary.

Thanks again, jdfisse. Your help is much appreciated!☺

Seems the Vinton Courier published an article 4 years ago:

https://www.vintoncourier.com/commu...cle_60bcf423-22b7-56d6-9620-91b14551cc65.html

Looks like the only ones on the AA schedule are Sunday at 5:30pm at 185 N Boundary Ave (a presbyterian church) and Wednesday at 7:30pm at the same location. If you go to both of those you may have a chance to find some people who can guide you to other meetings that are nearby. I realize Vinton is a tiny county. I am very fortunate in Las Vegas.

I apologize for blowing this thread up:

http://www.nabyphone.com/

I have no experience with phone meetings but it appears they have some that are recorded. Maybe you can give a listen and see if it is something that would interest you.

jdfisse- you have certainly went all out for me and I am thankful- truly. I'm going to try to dig a bit more & get on the phone. With the amount of people that use opiates around here, there has to be some help somewhere.

I realize my situation isn't as bad as a lot of people's and I'm truly grateful for that, but it still feels pretty crappy at the moment. I know in my heart I will be a better person on the other side of this, so it's minute by minute or hour by hour- depending on how successful I am at distracting myself

Hi tjmothy- I am lucky enough to have comfort meds & am using them. I've got something for each of the major withdrawal symptoms. The headache being the exception. Alternating ibuprofen and Tylenol. Thanks for your concern!

Note to self - never trust a fart during opiate withdrawal ��