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The path to recovery and being "Normal" again

shouldvestayedhome

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2017
Messages
113
I have been drug free for the last 7 1/2 months. I am 26 and haven't been a hard user, 2 occasions in all. Spaced by 3 years of sobriety. But when came to my last use. I consumed about 400mgish of "Ecstasy" in a 48hr period. I have been on Anti Depressants ever since October 17.

I am wondering will I ever be normal again? Or will have to rely on pills to make feel normal. Any advice would be appreciated.
 
Do you still have some symptoms and what kind from MDMA use? Have you used any other substances?

I binge 1 gram of MDMA during weekends and sometimes even 2 grams but mostly 500mg in one setting spaced few months apart and haven?t had any negative after effects so I can?t relate to your situation but I do know that some people have had very bad symptoms even from a single dose and it takes even years to recover.
 
I do still have symptoms i have depression, anxiety, insomina, and HPPD. Also, I have been a heavy binge drinker during those times as well although not on a regular basis. Honestly, I used untested pills both times.

I guess I am just one of those people who had a bad experience.
 
Yeah some people are more prone to get negative effects even from first MDMA use and then some people abuse it a lot like I have done and never get any real symptoms. You never know which side you belong to before taking it so it is like playing russian roulette.

Have you checked out this thread btw? It is about recovery from persistent MDMA symptoms.

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...tories-amp-Support-6)?p=14259390#post14259390
 
True that! Yes I very familiar with that thread. It scary to think that some people have to deal with problems for so long. Just from one night or weekend.
 
I have decided that pills did irreparable damage to my brain chemistry. But I dont know I how to be normal again? It's been seriously 2 and 1/2 years. You would think there would be some type of relief in my symptoms. But here I lay awake from the chronic insomina.

I just wish I knew what was wrong with me :/
 
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