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AussieRaver
20-05-2003, 13:21
What do you do when you sue a public toilet?
like do u just wait?
wipe the seat down or what?

i usually get toilet paper and wipe the seat, then i place some more on the seat, then some inside the toilet bowl, to stop any splashes ;) then i wash my hands good afterwards and wait for someone to open the door and go out, so i wont get germs on my hands :P lol so what do you all do ?

doofqueen
20-05-2003, 13:24
hover

onetwothreefour
20-05-2003, 13:26
aussieraver: i do *exactly* the same thing...toilet paper galore. i don't think i could manage to hover...i'd probably end up falling over, and that *wouldn't* be good :)

funki
20-05-2003, 13:37
just dont sit one the seat..

AussieRaver
20-05-2003, 13:38
lol itd be bit hard to sit on the seat ive tried it but much more relaxing sitting down :P !

GillyWin
20-05-2003, 13:47
It all depends really ...

If their isnt enough toilet paper to cover the damn thing, then your in a bad situation ...

The next option is to hover ... but hovering is not always practical ...

I do like those toilet paper seat cover things, handy dandy idea, shame that their is always an empty box rather than a full one in nearly every toilet i have been in!

I'm not too keen on public toilets at any rate, always full of weirdo's :P

Pill Puppy
20-05-2003, 13:52
If you really have to just stand on the seat and squat.

However, when releasing bombs from that height you'd better chuck in some toilet paper before hand. Or the splash back will be something to rival old faithful (that big ol' water spout in the U.S)

FoxyKel
20-05-2003, 13:57
I just sit... the seat's clean, every other prick in australia hovers or covers it with dunny paper.

BopGirl
20-05-2003, 14:19
A friend of mine was pricked by a needle stuck to the edge of a toilet seat once. We spent I about a month stressing while we waited for blood results but luckily he was all clear.

Needless to say, I hover!

raverchik
20-05-2003, 14:36
i hover or slap sum tiolet paper down on the seat
seedy tiolets:\

candyflip
20-05-2003, 14:57
Well I just walk in and wait around..you know, sorta hovering like you guys, and then eventually, maybe after an hour or so, someone I like the look of will come in and then we do it against the wall of one of the cleaner cubicles and...

Oh... that's not what you meant was it? :o

Raz
20-05-2003, 15:47
Originally posted by candyflip
Well I just walk in and wait around..you know, sorta hovering like you guys, and then eventually, maybe after an hour or so, someone I like the look of will come in and then we do it against the wall of one of the cleaner cubicles and...

Oh... that's not what you meant was it? :o

LMAO!!!

That's so funny....umm, I'm with Kelle...suck it up kids, any germs that don't kill ya will do wonders for your immune system so just sit (after a thorough "no spiders/blood/shit/piss/needles/weird fluid" inspection of course :p)

Oh, and I HAVE to make sure there's adequate toilet paper first...too many bad experiences with running outta toilet paper..

And needless to say, I only use toilets that at least LOOK clean...those skanky junky-fest places I don't even like to look at in case I get hep....

--Raz--

*sunflower*
20-05-2003, 15:51
=D at FoxyKel and Candyflip.

Er .. I just go really, I can't be stuffed covering everything with toilet paper. If you're at a club and drunk or whatever you don't care anyways.

heh.

fergo
20-05-2003, 16:03
I generally only use them when i need to piss, so i just do it all over the seat... j/k. I sit down wiping with toilet paper first.

fergo

syke
20-05-2003, 16:55
Close the cubicle door, might be abit difficult since they are generally made to hold only one.

Lower the seat cover and wipe with whatever is available. Toilet paper, t-shirt, whatever...innovation is the mother of invention.

Whip out baggie of novocaine bought from the bouncer convinced it was cocaine.

Rack up caterpillars.

Shove a rolled up 5 dollar bill into nose. $50 if there are chicks present.

Proceed to destroy nasal cavity.

=D

Andromeda
20-05-2003, 17:04
I have heaps more chance of catching something devistatingly nasty just by breathing at work... I check for nasties, I wipe thoroughly and then sit. If the toilet looks skanky, i dont go near it.

Needless to say I have been to France and we should all be pretty fuckn thankful that we have lots of public toilets, the majority in good clean condition and that we dont have to pay to use them.

Andromeda:)

vurtomatic
20-05-2003, 18:02
get a lawyer

plazma
20-05-2003, 18:46
I stick needles to the sides of toilet bowls, smear shit on the toilet seat and piss on the floor.

-plaz out-

Asatru
20-05-2003, 20:46
^^ lol.

IF i HAVE to go to a public toilet, i check out the seat area, then if all looks relatively clean, i just sit. if my immune system cant even handle that, i probably should be dead anyway.

Asatru

anna!
21-05-2003, 01:33
I sit. And then later, I wipe.

FoxyKel
21-05-2003, 01:42
Exactly, Raz... I mean, I rarely ever use a public toilet anyway, and when I do it is always a respectable looking toilet block. You naturally check the toilet for anything that might be on the seat and so long as it looks clean, sit down and just do it.

Screw the hovering and the covering of the seat, what a pathetic waste of time. If you're that paranoid, hold on and take your shit when you get home.

Jokerswild
21-05-2003, 02:17
Being a boy I am blessed with the ability to stand, given the prospect of needing to sit I sit, hell you generally slam you face into it without hesitation when you need to spew so I cant see the problem with some arse contact, having said that the wip is a given in the event of little surprises left by the patron before you.

JoKeR =D

Strawberry_lovemuffin
21-05-2003, 02:52
Originally posted by FoxyKel

Screw the hovering and the covering of the seat, what a pathetic waste of time. If you're that paranoid, hold on and take your shit when you get home.

^^ touche ;)

By the way, did anyone see that segment on Current Affair or something where they checked the germ levels of various pubic things? There were higher levels of bacteria on SHOPPING TROLLEY handles and escalator hand rails than on toilet seats. Hmmmm. My theory is, bums are quite clean, generally. If there's no visible splashes on there, I can't see a problem with it. A germ's not going to migrate through my bottom skin anyway ;)

blue eyed girl
21-05-2003, 03:13
I have hovering down to a fine art. I have been practicing since I was bout 9 years old and can now hover for as long as need be.

I take peoples point bout just sitting on the seat after a thorough inspection, but YUK!!! You dont know whose ass has been there before you, and where that ass has been.

A little germ paranoia goes a long way in my opinion. And thorough handwashing- MOST important.

------------
end of public service nnouncement :\ =D

FoxyKel
21-05-2003, 03:25
It's generally just the skin of that persons buttocks, and possibly their thighs, that touch the seat anyway - it's not like you rip your cheeks apart and start rubbing your actual poo-hole along the rim of the toilet seat.

pathetic paranoia bugs me 8(

Dancing_Princess
21-05-2003, 03:38
I'm a hover, but I find it an added bonus when there are actually those disposable thinggy that were made specifically for the seat. :D

blue eyed girl
21-05-2003, 05:50
^^^^ LMAO

Thank you FoxyKel for that most graphic and disturbing image of public toilet behaviour.....;) 8o =D

Now I will most definitely continue to wage my own personal war against toilet seat germs....

miss apple
21-05-2003, 06:38
I'm with Foxykel on this one.

I check, wipe if necessary, then sit. None of this fear of germs crap.

The American's are funny with a question like this. They are germaphobes to the extreme.

Jokerswild
21-05-2003, 06:45
Originally posted by FoxyKel
It's generally just the skin of that persons buttocks, and possibly their thighs, that touch the seat anyway - it's not like you rip your cheeks apart and start rubbing your actual poo-hole along the rim of the toilet seat.

pathetic paranoia bugs me 8(


Now thats some funny shit, pardon the pun, painted the picture. Just one question though do you need to lift the seat to get the right angle to get the poo hole onto the rim or do you press yourself up against the wall of the cubicle while having it down???


JoKeR =D

Technic
21-05-2003, 07:08
dont you hate it when you sit down and your dick hits the seat. fucking annoying.

anyway, yer i just wipe it down, and sometimes if i can be fucked i put 1 layer of toilet paper down so it isnt so cold :D

goatyoghurt
21-05-2003, 08:38
Only ever piss in the urinal, refuse to shit in a public toilet.

doofqueen
21-05-2003, 08:57
Originally posted by goatyoghurt
refuse to shit in a public toilet.

yeah same...i just cant do a number 2 unless im at home...8(

Peakatronic
21-05-2003, 09:55
I postpone...


I will wait until I get home if I need to take a crap and I always have a shower right after ,even if it's just to wash my stankin ass y0. =D

*clutches cramped stomach and searches for some laxatives*

MoeBro
21-05-2003, 10:02
I have crapping on my daily timetable
pretty much only at 7.15am and then at 6.30-9pm-ish on command.

I also have a magnificent iron bladder which means i dont even need to approach public toilets during the day.
I think I've taken ONE pee at uni this year

Bent
21-05-2003, 10:44
You want paranoia? I friend of mine hovers everywhere she shits...her parents, her friends, everywhere. The only place she'll sit properly is her own place.

Hell when she 1st moved in it took her 2 weeks before she stopped hovering!

FoxyKel
21-05-2003, 13:19
Originally posted by MoeBro
I have crapping on my daily timetable
pretty much only at 7.15am and then at 6.30-9pm-ish on command.

I'm much the same, Moe... My body knows it's schedule, the only time it steps outside of that schedule is if it is unwell. Other than that, the only public toilet encounters I really endure are when I go out.

Raz
21-05-2003, 13:22
Originally posted by FoxyKel
It's generally just the skin of that persons buttocks, and possibly their thighs, that touch the seat anyway - it's not like you rip your cheeks apart and start rubbing your actual poo-hole along the rim of the toilet seat.

pathetic paranoia bugs me 8(

LMFAO...

That's champagne toilet humor =D

Oh, and Peak...are you serious? You shower every time you shit??

Wow...

FoxyKel
21-05-2003, 13:50
Originally posted by Raz
LMFAO...

That's champagne toilet humor =D


I wasn't intending on being funny :\ :p

Queen Beat
21-05-2003, 17:51
I don't think it's at all pathetic, irrational or ridiculous for people to hover in public toilets. They're often filthy and I sure as hell don't want to be sharing ass germs with most of Sydney. I very, very rarely use public toilets. If I have to I definitely hover.

Urgh.

smokin' joe
21-05-2003, 20:56
I just cant hover........

I need to be really relaxed to let one of those bombs go. I tried hovering at a club one time cause they had no toilet seat at all. I was MDed outta my head and just couldn't get it happening, suffice to say it almost wrecked my night :/

I usually wipe the seat, but only really if it looks wet or something. I can't say that germs have ever really bothered me at all. Mind you, if a toilet is real skanky/smelly then it's kinda off-putting.

Ppl who have sex in the toilets at clubs etc. are fucking mad, I can't think of a filthier more unsexy place for a root. Just get ya jacket and bugger of home for fucks sake, or walk down the road to the nearest park.

Morrison's Lament
21-05-2003, 22:29
In public bathrooms around here in Beijing, there usually is no seat, and no bowl for that matter. Just a hole in the ground, folks ;)

--- G.

FoxyKel
22-05-2003, 00:27
Yeah, the toilets in Japan didn't have seats... you just squat over the top of them. I wonder how many poor drunk cunts have fallen into these...

http://www.thejapanesepage.com/culture/gif/benjo.jpg

dil8dpupils
22-05-2003, 05:03
peakatronic you are a nerd! and i know your a nerd because you are my brother and that is exactly what you do!
he's so bad in fact that he would drive home from work to goto the toilet and have his quick little shower afterwards!
too funny!
i just do the toilet paper thing! when you gotta go you gotta go! =D

Jokerswild
22-05-2003, 07:13
Originally posted by FoxyKel
Yeah, the toilets in Japan didn't have seats... you just squat over the top of them. I wonder how many poor drunk cunts have fallen into these...

http://www.thejapanesepage.com/culture/gif/benjo.jpg


Been in Japan for 5 months now, nothing worse than being out somewhere and getting a dose and a squatter being your only option, the splash back is frightening at times. The other problem is avoiding 1-the wet floor saturating your pants with the previous vistors urine if you take a leg out, or 2-leaving a surprise in your strides if you leave both legs in. Its an art I tell you one that must be learnt from an early age.

JoKeR=D

Tabernacle
22-05-2003, 07:37
^ U mean the simpsons was wrong when they said japanese had super intelligent dunnies that say "i'm pleased to accept your waste"?

Me, i am too paranoid to shit on a public toilet so every time i go out i give myself an enima, as a consequence my colonic health is out-standing- my stools are ginormous and smell no worse than a baked biscuit!

Genasirus
22-05-2003, 07:56
I'm totally with Syke on this one. Necessity is the mother of innovation.

My biggest problem is forgetting that I have no note in my wallet, and realising only when the seat is ready to go. And the weird thing is this happened 3 weeks in a row.

You know the movie coupons you get at village that tear away into individual little credit card sized bits of paper? I've never had so much fun with Di'Caprios face.

Then came the Subway card that I got a free sub on the next day.

Forgive me I digress... or do I?

dil8dpupils
22-05-2003, 08:28
I used to work at a college in sydney for overseas students, i was forever getting sick of going to the toilet to find dirty footprints on the seats! i plastered DO NOT STAND ON TOILET all over the walls, doors and where ever else i could! I mean for fucks sake our toilets dont look like those in pic above now do they!! hahaha :p

a_muse
22-05-2003, 14:09
I am at TAFE and supposed to be working on my visual design assignment and I am finding it very hard to stop laughing.

AS for myself a hoverer and proud. Nobody can convince me that a toilet seat is clean considering how many I have pissed on while hovering.

AS for shit schedules one of my friends was in a crowded nightclub toilet and someone was having a shit, I'll leave the evidence to youre imagination but someone in the queue became irate and began screaming"Who the fuck it having a shit?? You dont do you shits here you do your shits at home!!!!!"
It is a bit of an unwritten rule, isnt it, for girls at least anyway?

FoxyKel
22-05-2003, 15:12
Originally posted by Jokerswild
The other problem is avoiding 1-the wet floor saturating your pants with the previous vistors urine if you take a leg out, or 2-leaving a surprise in your strides if you leave both legs in.

Ugh! I so know that feeling... it was awful... moreso the fear of getting someone else's piss on your pants than anything, but then I discovered you keep your legs in your pants, bunch them up and hold them infront of you and you're right... unless you're drunk... don't do that drunk, because you overbalance and end up with your butt in the shitter. eww.


Originally posted by Jokerswild
Its an art I tell you one that must be learnt from an early age.

Aye, it is.


Originally posted by Tabernacle
U mean the simpsons was wrong when they said japanese had super intelligent dunnies that say "i'm pleased to accept your waste"?

The simpsons never lie, they just embellish :) The house I lived in did have an electonic toilet (the use of which is also an art, I discovered) which has a built-in seat warmer, a rinse-off option and air-drier - the ultimate in shitting pleasures =D

This was the closest example I could find...

http://larve.net/people/hugo/pictures/2001/05/06/22_33_03.jpg

Innocuous
23-05-2003, 11:27
Despite all the dirty indian toilets I've frequented, all the sideallys, rubbish heaps and junkie hideouts, despite never yet catching a single thing .. though there was that one time on the train with the runaway goat.. and the cockroaches, I hate flying ccockroaches... but I ramble, after years of fearlessness, I've decided to take up hovering.
I confess, I am paranoid.
But paranoid with reason. A friend of mine recently picked up a nice case of herpes, of course I don't belive her assertion that she must have got it from a public toilet because her boy would never go off with some dirty slut behind her back, but then again, that thing was right there in the ass to seat contact region. Maybe she didn't catch it from the sydney central public, its highly possible, in fact I really doubt she did, come to think of it, her boy is a cheating little prat. However, theres a chance, and untill I'm convinced otherwise, I'm happy to hover and avoid some stinky bitches fruiting herpes sores shareing their moist sticky love with me!