Heroin Overdosed and Technically died

I had been sober for 2 months after a dreadful time getting off subs. I was doing great. Had a good job, had my girl back, I felt great and then a few days ago it all changed. I went to work a little early to meet some lady at the dollar store who was buying a pair of shoes I bought but didn't fit. She never showed up after 45 minutes. Just as I was about to start my truck and leave, my old dealer pulled in next to me. Before I knew it he was sitting in my truck with a huge amount of heroin he had just went and got and asked if I wanted to trade for the shoes and stupidly I said yes. He proceeded to shovel out about .1 worth of heroin took the shoes and left. I felt guilty immediately and considered just flushing the crap at work, but I didn't. I stopped at a coworkers house to pick him up, went in the bathroom and snorted it. The only thing I remember after that is sitting down on the couch and looking at my phone for a second. The next thing I know I can hear a bunch of people around me yelling things, trying to get me to talk, asking what I took. For a while I couldn't even move or talk, I started thinking I had lost consciousness and was now a vegetable. Eventually I started being able to move and talk and slowly came out of it. I was told I wasn't breathing for at least 2 minutes and they couldn't tell if I had a pulse or not. It took one shot of narcan IM and one IV to bring me back. I know it sounds stupid but I never dreamed I would ever overdose. I just thought I had done so many drugs before nothing would ever kill me. I lost my job, my girl and I broke up over it and I guess I could still face a possession charge. The cops want me to give up info but I don't have any anymore, I was out, sober. I don't know what to do from here. I fucked up so bad. All because I couldn't say no one fucking time.
I know it had to be fentanyl that I did. I could tell something was wrong as soon as I did it. There was no rush, just sedation. The amount i did should have never done that if it was just heroin. Lesson learned. Getting on vivitrol next week.

with all the fent out there these days, doing a tiny amount first whenever you get a new batch is the only safe way.

I believe it had to be highly cut with fentanyl. I nearly reoverdosed a few hours later when i got home and had my dad standing by with my own narcan nasal spray for an hour or so. Whatever it was was so strong it almost killed me again after the narcan wore off. Also, somehow 2 days later at the counseling place I took a drug test and NOTHING showed up. I don't know if fentanyl will show up on a regular opiate test or not. I'm pretty sure heroin should have still been in my urine. I also heard the next day there were 2 more overdoses in the same small town.

Sometimes it helps if the person selling is using, not anywhere near street level and your guy is a junkie but "look at this brick man you gotta try this, here's a new rig help yourself - yeah that's common.

Fucking Fentanyl, bends you over for very brief but brutally hard anyl. It's not right to have a society with drugs illegal and uncontrolled for purity/quality control purposes.

Glad your still with us man.

Is there a fentanyl test kit made that is like other test kits, or should I say, could there be one made?

Glad your ok. The PAWS from suboxone withdrawal are beyond brutal. This is also why many experts don't recommend ex heroin users get off mantenance. We think we are cured after the obbsesion leaves when on maintenance but reality usually sets in once sobriety hits. It sounds like suboxone really helped you why not get back on it?

I am glad you survived. Losing those things is chump change in comparison to losing your life. The vivitrol shot is a good idea. I would work on finding the root of why you used that day and recognizing that train of thought in yourself in the future.

I think too many people get off maintenance when they aren't really ready most people I know who do rapid sub tapers go back to the opiates soon after stopping

The sub clinic I went to charged 400$ a month and I thought I could save some money if I tapered down on my own. I also didn't like the idea of still being a slave to a substance that just makes me feel normal. Looking back I suppose it's no different than being on Zoloft for last 15 years. I just didn't feel like I was clean being on subs. I wish I had just stayed on them. Now I'm faced with vivitrol or Suboxone again. I'm not crazy about the vivitrol route. I already have depression pretty bad and I've heard it can make that worse. On the other hand, I'm not physically dependent on an opiate right now since I had been clean for a couple months, would getting back on Suboxone be worth becoming dependent again? Any opinions would be appreciated.

cj said:

Glad your ok. The PAWS from suboxone withdrawal are beyond brutal. This is also why many experts don't recommend ex heroin users get off mantenance. We think we are cured after the obbsesion leaves when on maintenance but reality usually sets in once sobriety hits. It sounds like suboxone really helped you why not get back on it?

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I have to respectfully disagree with this. Of course the experts want to keep us on sub, so the pharmaceutical companies can line their pockets. Instead of being a slave to a drug dealer and a natural plant, they use their legal leverage and "expert" status to make us slaves to their synthetic opiods. It's a business.

Why not stay on sub? So many reasons.

1) You're still an addict on sub. How are you supposed to "recover" if youre still taking a powerful opioid drug every day? It's not like sub prevents you from using anyway, I used to just lower my dose and use whenever I had extra $ when on sub, then jump back on the sub. It's actually easier to keep on using when you're on sub, vs when you're sober. Being on sub just prolongs your opiate cravings because as soon as the sub starts to leave your system and withdrawal rears its head, any opiate will suffice.

2) being on sub long term sucks. It has a lot of the same negatives as being on heroin, only without the positive effects of getting high plus pain relief. WHen I was on sub, I was chronically depressed and emotionally blocked. If you want to heal from addiction, you need not only learn how to live without getting high, but you also need to heal emotionally and work through the issues that drove you to addiction in the first place. It is not possible to do that when youre on a powerful numbing agent like suboxone. You cant experience your true emotions.

3) if you go to jail, or lose your script you're screwed.

4) sub costs money and you have to keep on wasting time in Dr. offices and you risk losing your script if you test positive for something.

5) people will judge you for being on sub. Not that it matters what other people think, but in this world it is a real downside when you have a secret or not so secret drug dependence you constantly need to arrange your life around.

If you must use a maintenance drug, I recommend kratom. So much better.

roxi2873 said:

The sub clinic I went to charged 400$ a month and I thought I could save some money if I tapered down on my own. I also didn't like the idea of still being a slave to a substance that just makes me feel normal. Looking back I suppose it's no different than being on Zoloft for last 15 years. I just didn't feel like I was clean being on subs. I wish I had just stayed on them. Now I'm faced with vivitrol or Suboxone again. I'm not crazy about the vivitrol route. I already have depression pretty bad and I've heard it can make that worse. On the other hand, I'm not physically dependent on an opiate right now since I had been clean for a couple months, would getting back on Suboxone be worth becoming dependent again? Any opinions would be appreciated.

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Of course it wouldn't. If you take sub after 2 months clean, you're going to get a fucking opiate high for crying out loud. I really don't understand the logic of "I want to stay off opioids so I am going to go take some opioids". To me it sounds like an alcoholic who has been sober a couple months saying, well I dont want to go back to drinking a fifth of vodka every night so I'd better go drink some beer just to make sure I don't start craving vodka".

For people who need some sort of opioid in their system to due PAWS or inability to stay clean, I recommend kratom. But the best way to stay off heroin is in my opinion to stay off all related drugs, which only make you crave more opioids. The cravings eventually go away if you stay sober, but if you keep on using they never go away you just stave them off with each dose (and it doesnt matter what opiate you take).

You made the right decision in getting clean. Just because you had one relapse doesn't mean there is anythign wrong with that decision, you were just unlucky in that you probably got fent laced dope and ODed. But you can be grateful youre still here and pick up where you left off. If you ever do find yourself using dope again, just make sure you do a tiny test dose so you wont OD. There is no need to do a big dose all at once, especially with sniffing since you dont have to worry about finding a vein each time and you dont get much of a rush with a big dose anyway.

I am not against the idea of maintenance but long term maintenance should be for people who can't seem to live without some kind of opiate in their system. From reading your post you are clearly not such a person. You didn't write "I got clean but was just totally going nuts without opiates in my system so I stole my dad's car to go score". No, you were doing well but then had a chance enocunter with your dealer and made a bad decision.

I don't think it's fentanyl I think you were clean so long and mentally were used to a certain sized line and did that from habit that's more likely than fentanyl you'd be dead for sure 2 months clean doing fent

But he said he tested negative 2 days later. If was heroin, he should totally have been positive. It doesnt leave your system that quick, especially not an OD level dose.

burn out said:

with all the fent out there these days, doing a tiny amount first whenever you get a new batch is the only safe way.

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Honestly, with all the fent-cut heroin reported these days, it seems like better opiate choices for recovering heroin users during a relapse is Poppy Seed Tea (morphine + friends), prescription opiates, or Kratom. Their tolerances are way too low after not having used for weeks, and it takes just half of a bag of improperly laced fent-dope to kill you when your tolerance is in that state. Also, your tolerance will be low enough that any of these opioid choices would get you pretty high if that's what your after.

burn out said:

I have to respectfully disagree with this. Of course the experts want to keep us on sub, so the pharmaceutical companies can line their pockets. Instead of being a slave to a drug dealer and a natural plant, they use their legal leverage and "expert" status to make us slaves to their synthetic opiods. It's a business.

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This. Even medical professionals who mean well and are not just trying to keep you as a regular patient and income source have been brainwashed by the industry and the current idea that the most effective/only treatment for opioid addiction is lifetime maintenance on Suboxone or methadone. Maintenance CAN definitely reduce the likelihood of overdose, since it keeps your tolerance up. But personally I would rather risk death than going back on maintenance. I was on methadone for 10 years and got off it. I haven't touched an opioid in years now. I know other people who have successfully gotten off methadone or Suboxone after years of maintenance as well. It can be done.

burn out said:

I have to respectfully disagree with this. Of course the experts want to keep us on sub, so the pharmaceutical companies can line their pockets. Instead of being a slave to a drug dealer and a natural plant, they use their legal leverage and "expert" status to make us slaves to their synthetic opiods. It's a business.

Why not stay on sub? So many reasons.

1) You're still an addict on sub. How are you supposed to "recover" if youre still taking a powerful opioid drug every day? It's not like sub prevents you from using anyway, I used to just lower my dose and use whenever I had extra $ when on sub, then jump back on the sub. It's actually easier to keep on using when you're on sub, vs when you're sober. Being on sub just prolongs your opiate cravings because as soon as the sub starts to leave your system and withdrawal rears its head, any opiate will suffice.

2) being on sub long term sucks. It has a lot of the same negatives as being on heroin, only without the positive effects of getting high plus pain relief. WHen I was on sub, I was chronically depressed and emotionally blocked. If you want to heal from addiction, you need not only learn how to live without getting high, but you also need to heal emotionally and work through the issues that drove you to addiction in the first place. It is not possible to do that when youre on a powerful numbing agent like suboxone. You cant experience your true emotions.

3) if you go to jail, or lose your script you're screwed.

4) sub costs money and you have to keep on wasting time in Dr. offices and you risk losing your script if you test positive for something.

5) people will judge you for being on sub. Not that it matters what other people think, but in this world it is a real downside when you have a secret or not so secret drug dependence you constantly need to arrange your life around.

If you must use a maintenance drug, I recommend kratom. So much better.

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thankyou so much for giving me such a good laugh I didnt know we had paranoid conspiracy theories on here to now let me fill you in..
Doctors and hospitals are here to SAVE LIVES and HELP PEOPLE not rob people not use population control not make us slaves and not "insert new conspiracy theory here" its people like you that make our health services lose faith in themselves and cause accidents.

what color was it? I live in Boston and all we get here is fent nowadays. always white as a ghost; looks like coke. nothing like the old school brown dope from back in the day. then we have those select few who cut the brown w/ the white and we get a light brown type but still regular fent a bit stronger.

either way, sorry to hear. always worries the fuck out of me when I hear someone OD from snorting; here I am shooting (well, once was "shooting") w/o a care in the world and never worrying a bit (and I've OD'd before)