Checking in, saying hi - Im still sober! Life is good!

Hi eveybody! A couple of you have pm'd me asking if I was okay - I've been MIA for a while. It makes me so happy to know that people care. You all are amazing! I am doing good - I am still sober! Four months no drugs!!!! Nothing! And I feel better ALL THE TIME. I've taken on a couple part time jobs as well as managing my store, so I have been busy busy busy. Also working on getting my writing published in a few beauty magazings (I write about makeup as a hobby) and I'm getting married in March. I got my wedding dress and everything. I don't think about heroin and cocaine anymore. Really ever. My cravings, which I thought were going to kill me, have mostly gone away. I still suffer from intense shame and regret and am busting my ass trying to repair my life, but honestly, the worst has already happened and I made it through. My fiance and I are doing really well, I am hanging out with friends again, and my depression is being managed with meds. I've honestly never felt better. This summer I really thought I was going to kill myself. From drugs or suicide.

But I didn't. I'm glad I stuck it out. I'm glad I gave it all one last shot. I'll never use again. I'll also never be able to change what happened in the past, and that gets to me sometimes. But I think it made me a stronger person. I learned a lot about who I am, and what I want. I can move forward knowing that I can tackle anything, because I made it through this.

So anyway, I wanted to let people know that I'm not dead, not back on the needle, and that I miss ya'll....and if anybody new is reading this, and is struggling - you can get through it. I really came within a hair's breadth of losing my child, my partner, my home and my career. But I didn't. I made it, and I'm better now that I have been for the last five years. You can do it, too.

Amazing work dog

Forgive yourself already

I don't know you. I am new to BL sober living but I just wanted to say congrats on your 4 months! And congrats on getting married. I wish you the best of luck in your new life! I really needed to read something like this right now, funny how stuff like that works. I am only at 13 days right now off of heroin. So I am definitely a wreck right now, up and down in a split second. Anyways it's just nice to read other people that struggled but still didn't pick up. Picking up is the absolute last thing I wanna do and I know that, but shit my brain can really fuck with me! Sorry I am rambling. Just again thanks for sharing this, and congrats!!!

EXjunkiegirl23

Congratulations! looks like we both picked today to update after going MIA lol

I'm so glad you're doing better and are 4 months clean!! That is amazing! Isn't it great to finally be free? You don't have to live life worrying about drugs- it's your life again. You can do anything and everything you want to. If you got through withdrawal- physical and mental- there isn't much you couldn't do. I'm so happy for you!

Hi Junkiegirl23 - I'm so glad you found me and that this helped you! I totally remember being only a few days clean and how hard it was. In a few months this will seem really far away, and you'll be on your way to a new life. I know it doesn't seem like it, but things will change. It took me over a year of trying and failing to get clean. I ended up using Suboxone to get off the shit, and I'm still on it, but my quality of life is 100% normal right now. I don't abuse the subs, I don't drink, nothing. And I am fine with it. I've been abusing alcohol or one drug or another since age 16 and at 36 I finally have a normal routine and balance.

Just wanted to let you know I believe in you and if you ever need to talk, I am here!!

Thanks Lynne, congrats to you too! Remember how we never thought we would feel better? I wish I could have told myself to be more patient. There are still days when it feels like my life is falling apart but I can deal with it a lot better now. It's nice not constantly looking for a fix of something to make myself feel better, I just wait it out and I end up feeling better, without something new to regret.

I'm happy to hear things are going well for you.

dognasher said:

Hi Junkiegirl23 - I'm so glad you found me and that this helped you! I totally remember being only a few days clean and how hard it was. In a few months this will seem really far away, and you'll be on your way to a new life. I know it doesn't seem like it, but things will change. It took me over a year of trying and failing to get clean. I ended up using Suboxone to get off the shit, and I'm still on it, but my quality of life is 100% normal right now. I don't abuse the subs, I don't drink, nothing. And I am fine with it. I've been abusing alcohol or one drug or another since age 16 and at 36 I finally have a normal routine and balance.

Just wanted to let you know I believe in you and if you ever need to talk, I am here!!

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Thank you so much for the support and the kind words!! I really appreciate it so much more than I can express!

EXjunkiegirl23..

Congratulations too all that even have 1 day clean on here !!!!

Nice to hear from you again ms. nasher! I am glad things are going well. Sometimes the hardest part of sobriety for me is wondering what I want to do with my time. Looks like you have filled yours with sweet memories.

Girl I love you even more for loving makeup lol! So so so happy to hear all of your good news! Really great stuff. I seriously knew you could do this. :D

YES! I remember TOO well feeling like I was going to be stuck in a constant state of withdrawal for the rest of my life! There are no words for how much better I feel about everything! Lol
You are not alone in having some bad days but I'll take those days happily. We fought through hell to have a majority of good days so no bad day could be bad enough for a repeat.
Enjoy this life! I'm proud of you!!

Still here, still 100% sober, and very, very happy. I really can't believe if. I have a meeting on Monday that could make a lot of money for my business and take me almost completely out of this hole. Only thing left is to get myself out of credit card debt. Chipping away daily at all the wrath I caused, and working on forgiving myself. I will never go
Back to where I was. This life now is just way too good. I hope you all are well!

Awesome dognasher! It is good to know that you are doing well! I'm doing pretty good my ownself.

Credit Card debt sucks. That is why I never had a credit card and I have paid off all my loans as I go...I have a little left to pay off the car I returned when I went to rehab, but paying that off is just going to add to my good credit rating. I don't know how I did it, I was a junkie for years and I didn't ruin my credit.

Great to here! Success stories like yours are really inspiring.

dognasher said:

Still here, still 100% sober, and very, very happy. I really can't believe if. I have a meeting on Monday that could make a lot of money for my business and take me almost completely out of this hole. Only thing left is to get myself out of credit card debt. Chipping away daily at all the wrath I caused, and working on forgiving myself. I will never go
Back to where I was. This life now is just way too good. I hope you all are well!

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I am so happy for you.