Went to first AA meeting last night in 3 years.

I'm homeless, what can I say? Well, not 100% homeless because i'm living in a homeless shelter. Got that proof of residence here so ya kno?
Well, long story short. I drank myself out of school,again, and here i am in Indiana. No idea of where is what except for the shelter.
Last night I went to the inhouse AA meeting and wow, that hour went by so quick! I wanted to hear more! Espically from the new comers that didnt announce their names etc,just started talking, hearing them, made me relies,is this what i want to be doing the rest of my life? Chasing the next high or drink?
It was a very sobering experience.
Going to an NA meeting tonight.

So far so good, i mean. Yeah atleast i'm not fucking dead. I came close, and maybe thats why god has placed me here in Indiana.


Humility, is a very powerful word.

At best, homelessness would have been the next stop for me. At worst, death. So I can fully empathize with your situation. I wrecked my finances, my marriage and a wonderful post-marriage relationship all because of alcohol. Give step one some serious thought "We were powerless over our addictions, our lives had become unmanageable." While I always paid lip service to my life being unmanageable, it only recently hit me that these two women told me to take a hike because they had to manage my life for me when I'd be on a bender, in the hospital, or being detoxed.

My mother is pushing me to go back to rehab long-term but it is out of the question. Even if I could afford it, rent and bills are still going to need to be paid, and every day in rehab is a missed day of work. Plus, I see people in AA that that's all they needed. They take the program seriously, rigorously working the steps with a sponsor. Rehab would be a nice rest and getaway, but recovery without rehab is possible. Hell, I've been twice and I still didn't quit drinking after either stay. So, I am now taking the program seriously, and got a sponsor that asks the tough questions during step work and demands a commitment to recovery. So far so good. Also I should mention I was left isolated and friendless there at the end, so if it wasn't for my AA family, I'd be quite alone in the world.

I'm happy you've discovered 12 step. I hope you keep going back. Get a copy of either the AA Big Book or NA Blue Book (if you have no resources, I know someone will give you one), read it, get a sponsor and start working the steps. You'll get the tools you need to pick up the pieces and get your life on back on track.

Damn Ds I am sorry things have gotten so bad. Last time we hung out it seemed like you where doing better. Does the homeless shelter have a social worker? You need to get on food stamps at the very least. But this is not a good time of year to be homeless anywhere but especially not the Midwest.

Sorry to hear your temporarily struggling D's. Shit gets old, ugly, and tiring.

I would just keep it chill and steadily work your way out of the situation. I would also develop and implement aspects that will allow you to live the type of life you want and prevent you from cycling back through the shit show part of cycle. Getting it all back together requires such an effort. Build this go to last and the wretched cycle ends.

Work the steps and try to get some serious clean time so you can put the pieces of your life back together.

sending my vibes your way,,,,enjoy what you can and spit on the rest buddy.

used to sleep in my van, but this was in san diego. 74degrees in jan baby.

Good luck Ds. You can do this.

Hey man I have been homeless a number of times. Slept with a sixty something year old woman just to sleep in her basement....things can get real bad. Listen if you ever need an ear to bend hit me up cos I been there....I've been kicked out of every school I ever went to including Pre-k. Fuck naptime. Got kicked out of slipperyrock university for selling x and acid. Got kicked out of highschool for a number of "incidents". Got kicked out of PTI for getting a bj in the bathroom and the janitor walked in....wouldn't even let me finish...fucking bastard.

Listen its what you learn from it that makes you a stand up guy. You will get there. I got a year sober now, and before I couldn't even put five or six minutes sober. So just take it easy on yourself.

manboychef said:

Got kicked out of slipperyrock university for selling x and acid.

Click to expand...

Isn't Slippery Rock a notorious party school, too?

yeah....there were also other "incidents" as well there.....I've never been much for rules.

My roomate was a real tool...like I put a hit of ex in his coffee one morning....needless to say he didn't go to class and I just rocked the turntables all day....they also didn't like me spinning records in the dorm. They put me on the seventh floor which was the "substance/tobacco" free floor which was a huge mistake. I also always missed classes monday because I was spinning records at various clubs in pittsburgh on the weekends....oh and they hated the fact that I always had girls leaving my dorm room....which my asshole roomate kept telling the RA about....something about not being able to study with me getting drunk and fucking "broads" as he called them.